Contradictory
by hermione-amelia-rose1479
Summary: This isn't your typical Fangirl meets Doctor and travels the universe. She's an auror with more than 35 years of history behind those brown eyes. But- but- but, she's never been older than 22. Why, of all people, would this fangirl be chosen by the doctor's nemesis to be the lab rat to their youth experiment? Reunion-fic, crossover and fluff.
1. The Beginning Of The Madness

Contradictory- Chapter 1: The beginning of the madness

A/N: Hey guys, this is my first crossover story, it's myself as an OC with a hell of a lot of crack. If it's slightly AU, i'm really sorry, but i'm trying to make it as canon as possible. You may have to read Babysitting, my 10.5/Rose story to get some of it. It's a reunion fic and i consider my Character Jenna-Louise Coleman's character. Haha i wish

Disclaimer: No, i do not own BBC/Warner Brothers, i am not RTD or Steven Moffat, nor am I JKRowling. Sorry guys

* * *

My POV

My name is. Was. And will always be Mary Lozada. I will have always been born on the 14th of July 1999 in Australia. I will always have been Filipino and smart and whatever everyone else considers I am. And forevermore, I will be a fan-girl.

What exactly was I fangirling over? October of 2007, I discovered Harry Potter and was instantaneously hooked. 2nd of January, 2012, I discovered Doctor Who and my reaction much the same. But what hit me in July that year, was that these things were always foreshadowed. I mean, in 2006, I was flicking channels in my room and I saw the end titles and preview for Doctor Who, in 2010, I received the Academic Excellence award (valedictorian) and the 2 page special in Guinness Book of World Records was Doctor Who and the fact I saw an episode and wanted to see the next, in 2011 I had a brilliant drama teacher who was obsessed with Doctor Who. With Harry Potter, in 2006, yet again, I went to Movie World in Queensland and saw all this fascinating Harry Potter stuff, in 2004, my friend went as Harry Potter for the book parade and in 2007, I received a copy of the Prisoner of Azkaban.

As of now, I am 21, turning 22 in exactly a week, the year, 2021. The night's a new moon, quite odd really, I've never seen one. Right now I'm at cross-roads career-wise, tomorrow, I'll either a) get my letter of acceptance for the Drama Academy in London or b) get my letter of acceptance for my course in History. The reason why I get a letter is because they're both REALLY hard to get into, if I get into the drama academy, it means I have a chance of acting in Doctor Who. If I get into History, I have an even better chance of teaching at my high school, for me, it was the closest thing to Hogwarts, we even had teachers who paralleled: Snape, Slughorn, Umbridge, Filch, Lockhart and McGonagall.

The last thing I remember was wanting to watch a couple of Torchwood episodes when I fell asleep, completely unencumbered, though, I must admit, I was shitting myself on the inside.

* * *

_I woke up delirious, or at least I though, for a second, I swore that I was in the Leaky Cauldron, I must've been panicking too much, or caught a fever, hopefully it died down before I went to school._

_"Oh, you're awake. Sorry, never got to ask, but who are you?" The man said from the doorway, he looked EXACTLY like Matt Lewis from the Harry Potter movies._

_"Mary Lozada. Sorry, I have to ask, but are you Neville Longbottom?" I asked, laughing while at it_

_"Yeah."_

_"Oh my God. Please tell me you married Luna, oh my god, please tell me your married Luna, I SHIP you and Luna!" I recited excitedly at high speed, only to have my hoped let down by a shake of the head._

_"Wait…" I walked to the mirror that hung next to the bed and then it hit me. I looked like my ten-year old self. "Oh my god… shit…" I said, I WAS my ten year old self. But that physically impossible._

_"How did I get here. I mean, I was in Australia, shitting myself that I wouldn't get into Drama or history?" I was genuinely scared_

_"I heard voices. Talking, so I walked up. There was a man, and an older-looking woman, they were carrying you there and something about genes and youth and coincidence. Then they saw me, so I pulled out my wand and started duelling them. Then they vanished, leaving you here with all these boxes. I was knocked out after they duelled me." Neville explained_

_"Sorry. But what IS in those boxes?"_

_"Clothes, they look like they're for someone your age right now to clothes for a young adult" he said as I looked through the boxes. I noticed that they were my favourite clothes from the time I was ten. Definitely ten, I could tell by the brown skirt that I wore for formal occasions._

_"So, AM in England."_

_"Yeah, wait, how did you know about me and Luna."_

_"In the muggle world, there's a book series by Joanne Rowling called Harry Potter and a movie series and I happen to be obsessed." I looked through a box labelled: Important and found all my Harry Potter books, movies, merchandise and ditto for Doctor Who. All my headbands and jewellery was here too and I thanked Rassilon for my laptop._

_"If you were transported through time and are here" he started "Then it must mean you're a witch. Muggles can't see Diagon Alley"_

_"So, you didn't date Luna?" I asked crestfallen_

_"No. Why are you so intent on this anyway?" he asked confused_

_"It'll take 7 books, 3 companion books, 8 movies and an official website to explain" I said_

_"Darling?" Susan Bones entered "Ah. You're awake. Harry, Ron and Hermione are here to see you dear, they'll explain. I think you should get dressed. There's an awful lot of shopping to do" she said to me_

* * *

That day nearly killed me. The golden Trio didn't know what was going on either, and it was Hermione who realised that I was still biologically the same age, to that meant I WAS a 21 year-11 months- and 7 days old trapped in the body of my 10 year-11 months and 8 days old self.

That day I met Rose and Al, they were my friends at Hogwarts. They trusted me because I knew the truth about their parents, and I didn't want to be friends with them just because they lived in the spotlight. I found out that day that the books were disguised with a magic-repelling charm, sort of like a perception filter more as no wizards could find any of it and if they did, they very quickly forgot. The question was, why could I? Why could I remember, I wasn't exactly Amy Pond, If I remembered, the fate of the universe wouldn't rest in my hands.

In my 7th year, I had passed my NEWTS with O's in Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, DADA and Care Of Magical Creatures. My E's were History of Magic, Arithmancy (I was shit at maths anyway) and I couldn't quite remember the rest. For once in my life, I wasn't at crossroads and Al and I signed up as aurors. Scorp sort of worked for them too, but he was stuck behind the desk. Rose was a correspondent for the _Daily Prophet_, for the auror department.

I guess I learnt how to live my life better this time. I didn't have breakouts (though mine were hardly any in my first time), I actually dated, I wasn't at crossroads. But I never had the presence of my Parents, my first friends, my (oh my god, annoying) brother, my love of my life: Doctor Who. The most annoying thing I suppose was that I was meant to be at a masquerade party, that day of the 8th of July 2021.

* * *

That brought me up to now. That day again, 7th of July, 2029. On that day, every year, without fail, I wore my lucky charm. It was a piece of unicorn horn, that was covered with a woven cloth of unicorn hair, that was all kept in my locket.

That day I wasn't worried about money, as I was partly the first time, seeing as I have a giant vault in Gringotts (My grandparents were both squibs on my father's side). I was worried, as I was every year for the past 10, that I would leave.

I survived, for yet another year. I was scheduled with Al and Scorp for a mission. It was long-time coming and inevitable. Umbridge had escaped Azkaban and I was going to give her hell. I was known for doing that.


	2. The Clash Between

A/N: Sorry kids, if i'm horrible at this chapter. If you could help me with writing the 11th Doctor, please do so. No flames please, only CONSTRUCTIVE comments and PLEASE FREAKING READ AND REVIEW

Disclaimer: Same rules apply, no own or profit

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 2: The Clash between

"AlBUS SEVERUS POTTER, I SAID DUCK!" Mary screamed as she rolled on the ground, towards Al. If anything happened to her boyfriend, she would kill whoever harmed him.

"I can't bloody well help it" he said

"C'mon you two lovers. This isn't shagging time" Scorp smirked. They snapped back to reality and fired another set of jinxes.

"Ok." Al said as they all gathered behind the hay stack. Umbridge had decided to be caught in a field, of all places

"Mary, if you go run and attack her from behind, send a patronus to dad, we're going to need the lot" Mary nodded

"Scorp, if we both try to delay her, we may be able to buy time" Scorpius Malfoy nodded too

"This is ironic. Order of the Phoenix, Umbridge didn't want Harry to be an auror, he ends up as head of auror office a few years later" Mary mused as she apparated to the forest behind her. Mary knew full well, Umbridge hadn't forgotten the run-in with the centaurs.

* * *

The Doctor's POV- 7th July 2012- In his 11th Regeneration

It was that time again. Amy and Rory had left him, ever since they found out about Amy's pregnancy, they didn't want the baby to be taken away again. He supposed he was used to this. 49 years of being ditched or ditching his companions. He set the coordinates for somewhere interesting, letting the TARDIS have her way.

"Okay old girl, where to know?" he said stroking her controls. He heard the sound, that wonderful sound caused by leaving the brakes on as they went to their next adventure.

* * *

It was there, Mary heard it, that sound that sounded exactly like the TARDIS. She sent a not to Al, telling him she heard a sound and if she disappeared, she was so sorry and she thanked him for everything.

She walked to a little opening. But she remembered to send that patronus, and the silver owl flew away. She continued and fell to her knees. It was the TARDIS

* * *

Doctor's POV

He stepped out of his beloved box and saw her. The girl. She was average-height for her age, probably 21-22. Her long, black hair was done in a ponytail, some wisps hanging out form the front. She was dressed in an outfit that resembled his 10th regeneration, trench coat, converse and all.

* * *

"Oh my god. You exsist" Mary said faintly

"Yes. I'm the Doctor." The Doctor said

"Bowtie and all. Oh my freaking God" she said faintly also

"Wait. How do you know I exist?" he was confused, his eyebrows, what was there, furrowed

"Okay, as weird as this sounds, there's a TV show about you. It's called Doctor Who, and it's gone on since 1963 and I've been obsessed from the 2005 series with you and Rose." Mary started slowly but then found a perfectly good opportunity to rant, unfortunately Mary was cut off

"Oh, it explains a lot, but the question IS, why can't I see it?" he said, pacing now

"Well, with Harry Potter. Al, Scorp and Rose didn't know because there's a wizard repelling charm, sort of like a perception filter" Mary suggested

"Yes, that would explain it. So you're a witch?" he asked, his interest piqued

"Yeah. Oh my god SHIT!" Mary knocked him to the ground as a jet of green came towards her.

"Okay, my turn to say it. Basically, run" Mary took his hand and mentally giggled, she ran towards the entrance and pushed the Doctor into a bush, hiding him there. Mary fired spells and ran towards her, apparating while at it. She turned up next to Al.

"What took you so long?" he asked

"I met the Doctor" she attempted casually "Oh MY GOD HE FREAKING EXISTS!" she squealed quietly. Al was beginning to tell that she was going to hyperventilate and snogged her to stop her on-coming rant.

"Aw, ruin my fun why don't you" she said with a hint of pleasure in her voice "Fact remains I need to check on him. Continue without me okay and don't get killed, I want you home in one piece" she said, pecking his lips before apparating again. On cue, the rest of the department turned up, but she noticed one fundamental difference, Umbridge was running to the forest, Doctor hot on her heels.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Mary asked

"Getting her away from my TARDIS" he said as if it were obvious

"Okay, she's got a wand, you've got a sonic screwdriver, yes I think we're going to survive" Mary said with her voice, laced with sarcasm "Shit!, STUPEFY!" Mary screamed as she pushed the Doctor to one side as Delores tried killing him. The hag dropped down, stunned, but got up again and sent another killing curse. Mary pushed him yet again to the side and sent a curse to her again.

"There will be ORDER!" she said with Mary retorting

"Well… that never got you far did it, well… unless you count getting a cell in Azkaban" she said in a very 10th Doctor-like manner "I had a teacher like you once, we got her fired"

"Well, I like the sound of her. AVADA KEDAVRA!" she screamed and Mary apparated to behind her just at the nick of time. Mary sent a hard-hitting jinx at her and Umbridge crumpled to the floor, for good.

"Mary, you are a talented witch" he said

"How the hell do you know my name?" she responded

"Oh, you know" he made hand gestures that probably meant telepathy

"Right. Anyway, I need to go back and take ol' hag here back to Azkaban" Mary said nudging Umbridge with her toe.

"Nonsense-" Mary cut him off

"Anyway, if you don't mind me asking, where the hell are Amy and Rory?"

"They're… preparing for their 2nd child." He said

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"And. That means you _did_ regenerate from wearing converse to bowties"

"Yes, well, that's not the point right now" he said, for some odd reason, flustered

"But you were totally hot in your 10th incarnation. He was so awesome, he had fangirls, he had a brilliant taste in clothes and now I'm stuck with a 945 year old alien who wears bowties and has no eyebrows" Mary ranted on at high speed

"I happen to like how I look. Anyway, No, this is not supposed to work out like this" he walked around in cricles flustered from what Mary was saying

"I cried when I watched that episode, when you regenerated, for the last 15 minutes of it and I cried in so many episodes" Mary continued

"Oh shut up will you, in case you've forgotten, " He pointed to Umbridge

"Right. Okay, I'm taking her. Nice meeting you Doctor, good luck finding your next companion" Mary said brightly and she twisted on the spot with the now bound up Umbridge.

"Oh, you've got her?" Harry asked

"Yeah, put up quite a fight too." Mary said

"Okay, Like I said to Al, Scorp, you've done a great job and I suggest you guys get some rest." Harry told her and Mary apparated again home.

* * *

Doctor's POV

She was admittedly odd this one, perfectly happy to speak her mind. She had that way of annoying him that Amy and Donna could only do, yet she had that spark in the eye that told him she was talented and sparky like Rose and Martha. But why did she make him see things in such a different perspective, and why was she so obsessed with his tenth self? And perhaps his self ,right now, he could tell that she felt a loneliness that he didn't know off. This girl was definitely odd and she definitely qualified for the position. This one in millions who dreamed of it.

* * *

"Anyway, Rose, figured out where we're eating on Friday? It's your turn" Mary said as she ate more of her chocolate ice cream

"Not quite sure, I mean, your birthday's coming up" she said

"True. But I only really want a cake, perhaps a shopping spree." Mary said thoughtfully as she talked to her best-friend. Rose Weasley was Tall, pretty with a mane of dark-red hair.

"Yes. Oh, the doorbell" Rose heard the chime and both the girls ran down to get it. And the they Met Al and Scorp at the door.

"I bags opening it" Mary said and turned the handle. Their first glimpse was a blue police box. That door opened and a man with floppy brown hair, tweed coat, bowtie and suspenders stepped out and to Mary's amusement, a fez

"Mary! There you are. Fancy a trip?" he asked brightly

"You're wearing a fez" she said in a dead voice

"I like fezzes, fezzes are cool" he said

"Reducto" Mary pointed her wand at the fez and it was reduced to ashes

"Why the fez?" he muttered to himself

"Well then, Doctor, come in" Rose said. She turned to Mary and they were quietly squealing. Al shut the door behind them

"So… you're asking me, to go with a mad man with a box, and travel all of time as space?"

"Basically, yes" he said simply as he sat on the sofa

"Wait, this sort of calls for a group meeting" Mary said and the three huddled around her

"So . Should i?"

"Well, you have to come back in one piece" Al said

"Oh shut up" Mary grinned and pecked his cheek

"That's my cousin" Rose said, slightly disgusted

"Look at it this way, chance to annoy him and it means another one of your obsessions are real" Scorp said

"But that means I'm ditching you guys and my job." Mary added, worried

"Don't worry, we'll cover for you, we'll say some unexpected thing came up and you've had to go overseas." Rose said. Rose, always the brilliant one

"I'll try to come back before Monday, okay?" Mary said

"Yep. It's cool" Scorp said and they broke out of the group.

"Doctor. I'll come, I just need to pack." Mary said and she and Rose ran upstairs to pack clothes and merchandise

"Doctor." Al said to the Doctor who was happily watching the Teletubbies "When she says pack, she MEANS pack." And the boys laughed

* * *

"Okay. At least you're not as bad as Donna" he said as he helped her bring her trunk on board

"No, it's just that I have an undetectable extension charm on it."

"That would explain the sound of it" he said.

"Now. Your room is up stairs, to the lef-. Oh forget it. I'll show you. I's easy to remember once you get the hang of it." He said, walking with his naturally bouncy walk

"Locomotor Trunk" Mary pointed her wand and the black trunk and carried it up the steps.

"It's this one, end of the corridor" he opened the door and revealed the cream-room

"Cool hang on. Can you help me unpack. It'll take a few minutes" Mary unlocked her trunk and placed a pile of DVDS in the Doctor's arms. She pointed her wand in the trunk and magically placed the items where it should be.

"You have posters of me! That's wonderful." He said babbling at all the merchandise

"No, no, no, you have a horrible figurine of me" He picked up the little figure and showed her

"Well Mr I-want-a-better-doll-of-myself, they're the official issues from BBC and they're the only ones you get." She said as she placed her DVDs in order, chronologically.

"Although, might I add, they ARE cool posters"

"I got most of them for my 13th , the first time that is. I threatened my friends with disownment if they didn't get me something Doctor Who related, or Harry Potter." She picked up the sonic screwdriver, and played with it, putting it back down.

"Now, clear out. I'm getting changed. I feel depressing in this outfit" She pointed to the jumper she was wearing. The Doctor left obligingly.

She opened her wardrobe and was at cross ends at what to pick. He entered yet again.

"But, you should know. It's your first trip. So, lucky you, get to pick the destination."

"Okay. Question? Do Sherlock Holmes and Watson exist?" Mary asked

"Ah. Yes, yes they do. 19th century England it is then. Now you, don't cause a riot, go to the TARDIS wardrobe. It is, this way" he ran out the door, Mary keeping up with him. He opened the doors and she couldn't help but gasp

"Oh Rassilon." She said weakly. Mary immediately ran around the room. "Oh my GOD, IT'S THE SCARF" she pulled out the eleven-foot long scarf and played with it. She chucked it at him and his amused face. "No. No way, OH MY GOD IT'S THE COAT. OH MY GOD!" she said, squealing as she looked at it.

"Now, you, need to wear something appropriate. So, I'm staying here just to make sure you don't steal any of my clothes" he said sternly

"Yeah, coz I'd totally steal a celery stick" she snorted as she ran around. It was Mary's absolute dream, a giant room filled with every outfit possible. She picked out the white, high-necked shirt with ruffles, the TARDIS blue skirt with bustle, the white stockings, gloves, brown, lace up boots and the matching TARIDS blue over coat. She quickly got dressed and cursed the corset she had to wear. Getting dressed quickly, weirdly enough, was part of auror training, that way, you could disguise yourself quickly.

Mary came out in the outfit, her hair curled back.

"That was 10 minutes and 32 seconds. I must admit, I am pretty impressed." He said

"Oh shut up, just because you don't have to wear a corset" she sighed. They walked back out to the TARDIS console. Mary packed her purse with things they may need, such as her phone, polyjuice potion, essence of dittany and her wand.

"How is it that you've been on the TARDIS for nearly half an hour, and you haven't said it's bigger on the inside?" he said slightly annoyed

"That's because I've seen the TARDIS a million times on Doctor Who." She said ominously

"I like it when people say it's bigger on the inside" he said in a low voice. "Anyway, you, stand here and I'll set the coordinates" he typed a few things on some stuff, there was oddly enough, a typewriter. Mary was worried now, she was IN the TARDIS with the DOCTOR, who knew what would happen.

"So I'm not allowed to fly?" Mary asked slightly crestfallen

"Not yet" he said "But, you will, given time" he pulled a lever and the entire places started shaking

"AHHHHHHH, YOU ARE COMPLETELY MAD!" she screamed as the TARDIS flew off, quite violently

"Yes, well Late Victorian England is hard to get to. I was wondering, why didn't you pick the 20's?"

"I've already seen a bloody, BRILLIANT episode on that" she said "Besides, that was second on my bucket list"

* * *

A/N: Haha, yes, the next bit is a sherlock holmes thing. I actually haven't seen Sherlock yet. I've only seen the movies (Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes; A game of Shadows) so half the things will be from the movies, or made up or just wikipedia'd. Ditto from up the top and PLEASE REVIEW. This is, sorry forgot to put last time, a reunion fic later on, but not the entire time. Though, please tell me what do you want to see  
A) a drinking contest between River, Jack, Amy, The Doctor and Mary... or  
B) an EPIC all nighter. or maybe a movie marathon. I'll try not to make it a Doctor Who watching fic too much


	3. Insufferable Geniuses Collide

A/N: Okay, this is my take on a hell of a lot of Sherlock Holmes stuff. It's not canon Sherlock Holmes wise. Sorry, i haven't seen the series (not allowed :'( ) I've seen the 2 movies and i've wikipedia'd a bit. Sorry if the Doctor isn't that great. I can't write 11 well for some odd reason.

Thanks to the 40 or so people who have read this story

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 3: Insufferable Geniuses Collide

Mary stepped out of the TARDIS and nearly fainted. They actually HAD moved and they were in a different time. There was smoke everywhere, the stench was completely overwhelming and Mary felt like fainting already.

"Ah. Victorian England. Home to some of the finest inventions the world had ever seen. The Bessemer, dynamite, automobiles, artificial dye. And a hell of a lot more." He said enthusiastically. Only then did it hit her, he was wearing a top hat.

"Seriously? Spelt S-I-R-I-U-S-L-Y" she asked

"No, this does not mean you can reduce my hat to ashes again" he said, then checking his watch

"Okay, we'll have enough time to meet him. The year is 1891" he said as if it were an ordinary fact

"Wait, 1891?" Mary asked

"Yes, why?"

"Oh my god, have you forgotten?" she said as they walked towards the residence "That Sherlock Holmes novel: The Final Problem, is set in 1891. And that's the year Moriarty dies" she said

"No, no, no this is not happening" he muttered to himself

"How do you not know that?" she asked amused

"No, I knew, but depending when we are in his timeline, he may be 'missing' or trying to solve the case" he said

"Okay, upside, we solve case, down side, we don't do anything interesting. That's nice to know" she said with sarcasm.

"Well, here we are. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"What sort of question is that? Anyway, have you actually _met_ the guy"

"Yes, we've met over a few drinks" he said in a voice that seemed to trail away he knocked on the door with the cane Mary only just noticed he was carrying.

"Hello Mrs Hudson" he said brightly "I'm the Doctor and this is my cousin; Mary. She's visiting from Spain. Is Holmes here?" he asked. Mary couldn't help but roll her eyes

"Yes, yes he is. Shall I get your coats?" she said

"Yes please Mrs Hudson" Mary said in her accent. Mary's accent was quite weird in a way, it could be heard as more of an Estuary English accent, but it was still mixed with her occasional Australian accent and a bit of an American accent. Overall, she still sounded quite upper-class

"He's in his study upstairs, he's with a good friend of his, another doctor, Doctor Watson." She said and led them up the flight of steps

"Holmes. The Doctor, oh sorry what did you say your name was again?" she said to the Doctor

"Don't worry, he knows me" he said

"Doctor, I see you've brought a friend" he said while smoking his pipe. Mrs Hudson retreated and left.

"Sherlock, How are you?" he said and they ehem… _embraced_

"And Pleasure to meet you Miss…" He said taking Mary's hand

"Mary, Mary Lozada" she replied

"Filipino, distantly Spanish, and living in England I take it.?" Mary was facing yet _another_ insufferable genius

"Yes, and I must say, to deduct that, you must be quite logical. Nevertheless, I have heard of you works and am quite the admirer" Mary said and they all took a seat. The Doctor gave her an impressed look and Mary returned it with a 'shut-the-hell-up' look

"Now, this is my good friend, the Doctor Watson." He held his hand in Watson's direction

"Pleasure to meet you all. Now, Holmes tells me Doctor that you are quite good with mysteries" he said while sipping on the cup of tea Mrs Hudson brought

"Yes, oh thank you" he said while taking the cup "Mary, is my latest discovery, she is quite talented with deduction" he said

"Yes I could tell. By the way she holds her hands. No My dear, watch as I show you how I work." He added as Mary looked uncomfortable "The way your hands are tucked gives the impression of the eagerness to solve mysteries, if you weren't a woman you would work with Scotland Yard. The way your head is held gives, not an inference of wanting to spread gossip, but to extract the truth from its embellishment, that you hear today and the way you sit slightly back in your seat tells me that you had the education required for women of this age, but is, how should I put it. More laid back and tomboyish. You Miss, are quite the Contradiction.

"I must admit, to see you deduct in front of me is quite an interesting experience. Needless to say, you are correct sir" Mary said happily while sipping on her tea "Sir, is this an infusion of Indian black tea, with rose and jasmine. Because, I must say, it does give a wonderful aroma" Mary added _"Eat your heart out Sherlock, no, Poirot"_ she thought

"Just like I said. A talent in deduction" Holmes said "Why, even you Watson didn't know that" Holmes said delighted

"And that sir, tells me that you don't perceive women so much as a second-class, but you consider some women, who you consider intellectual, to be on par with you" she said amused. The Doctor was looking on amused also as he didn't expect Mary to start her whole deduction-thing so early in the meeting.

"Quite right. Now, Doctor, do tell me where in the cosmos you have been recently?" he asked. Mary's jaw fell slightly

"No, it's okay, he knows" he said

"More like figured out" she retorted

"No, that doesn't matter. Anyway, you know, I've been travelling, met Mary, she came along." He said happily

"Yes. Know, you have a quite timely arrival Doctor and Mary. It seems that Moriarty is up to something and I myself have escaped 3 plots to murder me." He said simply

"But, knowing Moriarty, he leaves no ends loose. Is there at least, on suspicion you have that could lead to the solution?" Mary asked

"We've been trying" Watson said "Holmes' has an idea on that"

"Yes. It seems that Moriarty" Mary snorted

"Whatever is the matter?" he asked scandalised

"Sorry" Mary gained her composure "But, I had a very good friend whose surname was Moriarty, though, in no way related to the mastermind. It's quite amusing to hear her name be said as if it were she who were committing the crimes" Mary said

"It so is" The Doctor said amused

"Well, anyway, he's bought himself several factories, no one seems to know that. Nothing we do seems to spark action against him" Holmes continued

"As a man once said. hidden within the unconscious is an insatiable thirst for conflict" Mary said

"True" the Doctor said

"Yes, well, as you stated, Moriarty doesn't leave loose ends, and that's why we need to stop him and bring his evidence." Holmes said "So Doctor, willing to help?"

"I think Mary should answer that question" he turned to her. Mary had been quite contently sipping on tea

"Why not. The air is already thick with adventure" Mary replied excitedly

"Well then, this proposes for a toast." Holmes went to his cabinet stored with Brandy and pulled out a few glasses. He poured out the exact same amount in each glass and handed them out

"To the case" he raised his and the other 3 toasted.

"Well. I assume lodgings are required. Doctor, you will need to hide your blue box." He said "Watson say goodbye to your dear wife. We will all be leaving" he said in a matter of factly. "Now, Mary, a private word with you and the Doctor." He drew them into a corner and Mary had a foreboding feeling of what it was about

"Now, I have figured out you are a witch" Mary was going to stutter but she was quietened "No, not the time to deny it. I know that there will be restrictions and with you, the boundaries will be expanded slightly. Now, you and the Doctor will be upstairs in the guest room" He stopped her oncoming stream of words again "There IS only one room. So hop to it. The box will be present to Moriarty"

* * *

"That was _extremely_ illuminating" Mary said after they apparated to the TARDIS

"Yes, yes it was, what I still can't get my head over is the fact he's an absolute genius" He said as they worked the controls

"Something tells me that you want me to say you're a genius too" Mary said exasperated

"Yes, that was the general idea"

"You know, I've realised. You are _quite_ the Sherlock when it comes to it" Mary said thoughtfully

"See! I did get it out of you in the end" he pointed his finger at her from the other side of the central column

"Honestly. To think I fancied your tenth self" she muttered to herself

* * *

"Ah, that wonderful machine." Holmes said as the TARDIS materialised in his study

"Mary knows. I mean, my wife, Mary." Watson said as he looked at the _other_ Mary

"It's perfectly fine. Many people have that name, and it makes me wonder my parents' creativity" Mary said

"Well. I think it's time we had a spot of Lunch" Holmes said

"Holmes. It's isn't the wisest decision to go out to a pub right now" The Doctor said

"Yes, but it would be good to let Moriarty know that he's against 2 masterminds now." Holmes said appreciatively of him and the Doctor

"And what are me and Watson? Maids?" Mary asked sarcastically

"Oh, yes and you two" Holmes added grudgingly. They walked out of 221B Baker Street and got into Holmes' automobile. There was hardly any space and Mary found herself constantly feeling the need to throw up.

"Now, this café is quite good. Miss Lozada, do you like macaroons?" he asked

"Yes. Just not coconut or mint. I am partial to anything else" she replied as they all got out of the automobile. Mary took of her goggles and felt the need to cough excessively.

They walked through the doors of the restaurant and Mary was impressed with the set out and the overall grandeur. They requested a private booth, that way they could plan their next moves.

"What would you like to order Sirs and Ma'am?" The waiter asked

"We'll have a pot of rose tea and some banana, chocolate and strawberry macaroons." Holmes said first

"Anything else?"

"Miss Lozada, what'll you have?" Holmes inquired

"I shall have the Beef Burgundy. Doctor?"

"I'll have the fish and chips" The doctor said happily. Mary couldn't help but roll her eyes

"And I'll have the French Onion soup, thanks" Watson told the waiter

"I'll have the oysters thank you very much." Holmes concluded and returned the menus.

"Now. This is quite opportune. Moriarty we know has taken an opium factory, a bandage factory and whatever else. It seems he really is only in it for the handsome profit. But, why would he pick those factories."

"Maybe they're in locations of some relevance?" Mary suggested

"Maybe he knows something. Holmes, Moriarty knows things we don't even dream of" Watson said. But Mary had time to rebuke that idea as the waiter reappeared with their orders.

"Thank you, that'll do" Holmes said. The waiter bowed and turned away.

"Holmes, you should check that it isn't laced with poison" the Doctor said, taking the pot

"I know. Specalis Revellio" Mary pointed her wand at the pot, making a small, circular gesture. It was perfectly fine and she poured out a cautious cup for each person

"Holmes, isn't your brother Mycroft in the parliamentary broom cupboard?" Mary asked

"Yes, yes he is, though fact remains that parliament won't listen either" Holmes stated

"I have a horrible track record with politicians" the Doctor said and looked at Mary. She mentally laughed as the Master immediately popped into her head

"Well. Seeing as we're all finished eating. I think we should leave. It would be unwise to linger here" Watson said, to the agreement of the rest.

* * *

Mary couldn't help but feel worried every time she took a step forward, out into the street. The possibility Holmes could be attacked, would mean she would use magic and possible get killed. They fortunately made it into the car without any injuries.

"Doctor." She said sharply. She nudged him and turned him to the left

"See that man. I swear he's been following us for the last few minutes and I swear he was in the restaurant."

"I know. That's why I'm absolutely positive that we're near that point in time" the Doctor replied. They stepped out of the car and sprinted back into the house.

"Well, that went well" Watson replied dryly.

"I think we should all pack for tomorrow. I'll get the tickets in the morning." Holmes went upstairs to his study, Mary and the Doctor following him to get to the TARDIS.

* * *

"And yet again in the TARDIS wardrobe. I could spend _days_ in here Doctor" Mary said as she picked out a few more items to wear

"I still don't get why everyone has a thing against my fez. Fezzes are cool" he said, arms folded in the chair

"Well, anyway, wanna watch a few movies?" she asked

"No. But something tells me you aren't too fond of Holmes" he said

"That's because I'm stuck with 2 insufferable geniuses now. If we were with Poirot, it would be worse, he's such a strange guy"

* * *

"Sorry, but we only have one bed. But there is a chaise-lounge and a few throws" Mrs Hudson said embarrassed

"No, it's absolutely fine. We'll survive" Mary said and they closed the door.

"Okay, we can't interfere with the events" the Doctor said

"But we're already interfering" Mary replied

"Yes, but, Moriarty is going to be hard" he thought. The Doctor was on the bed, Mary choosing the chaise-lounge.

"You know who should have a sleepover together?" she asked the Doctor

"Alright, amaze me, though I doubt you can" he said smugly

"Moriarty, The Master and Bellatrix Lestrange. Maybe Voldemort too" she said smugly to his dropped jaw "I mean, they all do justice to the Scissor Sisters song: 'I can't decide'"

"Oh yes, definitely." He said. Mary was walking around the room, looking at the fireplace, she stopped dead in her tracks and gasped, quite loudly

"What is it!" the Doctor was quick to react and pushed her aside. She fell quite violently to the floor

"Honestly. Doesn't that clock look familiar?" she pointed to the golden boudoir clock that was on the mantelpiece. Mary stood up and stood beside him. "Reinette" they said in unison. The Doctor automatically scanned the clock with his sonic and Mary muttered spells under her breath

"It's just an ordinary clock, but what worries me is that it's too ordinary." He touched the gold gilt

"And the time's behind. It's 3:00" Mary said and she adjusted the time from its position at 9:00. When the hands reached 12:00, the face opened to reveal an empty cavity

"Just like I said, it was too ordinary" the Doctor said. The cavity held a parchment scroll, but it was seamless, you couldn't open it. The Doctor tried sonicking it, but to no avail. Mary tapped it with her wand and slitted it, looking smugly at the crestfallen Doctor. He then snatched it off her in revenge

"What does it say?" Mary asked patiently, knowing that there probably wasn't any writing on it

"There's nothing on it" he said, confused. In the meanwhile, Mary was digging through her Smiggle*, purple pencil case, pulling out a red eraser* "It's a revealer" she said to his inquiring look. Mary rubbed on the paper and writing slowly appeared.

* * *

_Θ-σ, Mary._

_Beware the big-bad-wolf._

* * *

"Theta-Sigma, Mary. Beware the big-bad-wolf" the Doctor read aloud. His faced blanched as he read the words Theta-Sigma.

"Who else knows your high school nickname, Thete?" Mary asked just to annoy him, but he took it as a serious question.

"No-one, except River maybe and Rose, if other-self told her" he said quietly. He then licked the paper and tried to determine the date from it. "I can't tell. It seems out of place" he said, looking intently at it

"And you kiss people?" she said when he licked it

"No, shut up. What I don't get is why someone would refer to my nick-name, but your real name. that is really interesting. Very interesting" he said "Mary? Is that your handwriting?" he said.

"It might be, I write in different styles sometimes." She pulled out a quill and notebook and wrote in her best, fanciest writing possible. The result quite the same as the note.

"The same writing." He said blankly

"That means it's from the future, or the past, or now. But we won't know" she said

"Now. I think it's time we got some shut eye." The Doctor flumped on the bed and Mary sat of the chaise-lounge, thinking.

* * *

Mary's POV

That note was definitely odd. So was Holmes. Though, she had the feeling the Master could kick Moriarty's arse any day. The note was all that occupied her mind, The Doctor had dismissed the message. It said _beware the big-bad-wolf_, how could he not comprehend that. But then again, rule number 1, the Doctor lies.

* * *

A/N: Sorry if it's a leetle bit choppy

Now the **. Okay Smiggle is a really cool stationary brand her in Aus. *Eraser. I'm aussie, here we call it a rubber. I don't trust you guys to take that the right way round. Now PLEASE REVIEW


	4. Paris and It's Complications

A/N: Okay, i actually have written the next 4 chapters for this. I've been so obsessed with it. I'm sorry with the ending, i don't really like it, but according to my bffls DID I JUST SAY BFFLS? *EWW* anyway, according to my mon ami's, it's pretty damn good.

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, DW or Poirot for that matter. I don't own anything as i am a broke high school student without a social life.

Dedicated to: Hufflepuff-Finder. Thanks for following my story and for being an EPIC starkid

* * *

Contradictory chapter 4: Paris and it's complications

They had woken up early, in case Moriarty had decided to follow them. They took the first boat possible and they had all changed their outfits so they would be less recognisable. Mary stood next to the railing, looking out in a manner similar to those inspirational photographs. Today she had decided to wear the purple skirt and overcoat, her hair done in a simple bun, with half her hair out.

"You look as if you were on the Titanic" the Doctor mused

"You've _been_ on the Titanic. Twice" she said clipped

"Doctor, it said bad wolf" she said worried

"Yes, I know it did. But we can't think about it know." He said

"Doctor, I've noticed, you've never really suggested anything. Why is that. Normally you're an arrogant genius" she said, worried, but teasingly

"I am NOT an arrogant person. However, I AM a genius. I've thought that you're doing quite well actually" he said and clapped her shoulder. The Doctor went to play chess with Holmes while Mary sat next to Watson. It was odd that they didn't go via TARDIS, but Holmes had suggested that Moriarty would strike if he suddenly turned up in Paris.

"Has it ever occurred to you that working as the so-called sidekicks, you usually get pushed aside?" Watson asked in a bored manner

"Yes, but people underestimate the companions. Sometimes they pick up most of the clues, working with insufferable geniuses like _those_ two." She nodded her head in that direction and Watson laughed "They always take the evidence for granted. Though, we have to admit, they do piece it all together the best." She said

"Have you heard much about Moriarty?" he asked Mary

"Yep. Sadistic bloke. Needs mental help that one" she said and they yet again burst into laughter.

* * *

Doctor's POV

That was Mary's way of being different to every other companion he had. She would annoy you to hell and back, but she was like a twin sister, who was only younger than you by 5 minutes. If that was possible, except for that occasion on that nude planet where he had to help…

Anyway. She was still odd to him. Why was she so different. Normally it was that she was ordinary, it was unordinary, but in her case, she was a complete nutter. He hadn't ransacked her room yet like he had with everyone else. But he had a feeling she would murder him over. Or if Jack ransacked her room, then she definitely would kill him for fun. Though, chances of running into people he knew were highly unlikely.

* * *

They had alighted the ship. The Doctor had brought the TARDIS to the location the night before, that way, they needn't be bothered about it and the luggage. They casually made their way through the beautiful streets of Paris, they decided to stop for a bit of a break at the square and sat there.

"Doctor. Isn't that where…" Mary mimed chopping a head off

"Yes it is, isn't it." He said. He was looking at a young boy, probably 13 or so. He was trying to figure out a puzzle. So he nudged Mary and they walked to the boy together.

"Hello! I'm the Doctor, and this is my friend, Mary." He introduced them. The boy was startled but Mary knew how to get out of this one

"Sorry about my friend. He's an absolute nutter" she said

"Am not. Anyway, having trouble with that?" he asked regarding to the puzzle he was doing. They were riddles and he was having a hard time figuring some of them out.

"Well. Sorry, how rude, what is your name?"

"Hercule" the boy replied. The Doctor was completing all the puzzles

"So, what are they for?" Mary asked

"They're for school. Back in Belgium, but I'm here with my family." Hercule replied

"Sorry, if I'm being intrusive. But what is your last name?" the Doctor asked

"Poirot. Hercule Poirot." He said

"Remember. You should use your little grey cells, that way you can figure out your puzzles for yourself. Okay, have fun at school" Mary said in a slightly dazed voice. She had just met THE Hercule Poirot. "Oh, if you want to look distinguished when you're older. Grow a little, twirly moustache, they're cool" she added, she couldn't help herself.

"Yes, I don't see why not?" he waved goodbye as Holmes and Watson called them.

"You really couldn't help yourself, could you?" the Doctor asked her

"Yeah. But, credit to me for letting Poirot grow a moustache. The guy's an absolute genius, he was absolutely BRILLIANT" she said excitedly

"Now, you're sounding like my 10th self. That's _slightly_ worrying." He said

* * *

Mary's wand was hidden up her sleeve the entire time. She was always paranoid about being followed. It was her sort of thing, what, with being an auror.

They had safely made their way to the Hotel, where the TARDIS was hidden. Holmes booked them a 4-bed room. But Mary and the Doctor would be in the TARDIS for several reasons, unbeknownst to Holmes and Watson.

"Ah. Now, we really should arrange a meeting with the Professor" Holmes said as they sat at the table in the room "My brother sent me a message, he'll be at this ambassador's ball and Moriarty will be there." Mary's head was flicking between scenes from one of her favourite movies Sherlock Holmes; a Game of Shadows.

"Are you planning on heading him off there. Or just a brief _warning" _Mary asked

"The former, not the latter" Holmes said

"Now, if we are going to this ball. Might I add-" The Doctor was cut off by Mary

"You are a horrible dancer. You should get some lessons" Mary said

"Might I add. Moriarty will be plotting something there, he is invited after all" the Doctor continued

"When is the ball, anyway?" The Doctor asked. He was probably sick of being outdone in this department by her, Mary thought

"If I am not mistaken, tomorrow. Quite inconvenient, I know. I only received the message now." Holmes said sadly. But both Watson and Mary picked up a flaw

"What if Moriarty sent the note?" Watson said

"We'll take the TARDIS. That way we get past the officials and Moriarty's cronies" the Doctor said. It was the starting of another one of his infamous plans.

* * *

Mary was in the Wardrobe with the Doctor. She literally could live in this room. She was at cross-ends to pick a ball gown.

"Doctor? What do you think of this one?" she pulled out a red gown

"No, what about this one?" he showed her a pink one and she started retching

"Nope, I've got it. This one" she pulled out a heavy, sating ball gown of a dark purple. Its bustle and trimmings were silver.

"Yeah. That'll do. Now, should I wear this suit or this suit?" he pulled out the Tuxedo his 10th-self wore and the formal suit he wore at weddings.

"Are you deliberately trying to blow my head off?" she asked "You're not tall enough for that _really_ cool tux, besides, you need the tail-coat to fit in. And don't gel your hair back. It looks cool normally" she said

Mary ran to the Bathroom to take a quick shower before blow-drying her hair. She had to corset herself in, again, and the entire process was quite lengthy. Her hair was parted to the side in a bun, with some bits sticking out. There were twists back from the side to accommodate pearls and feathers, all of her hair was curled with a sword curler. She thought she looked like a showgirl. Her wand was in the purse she carried, along with all her usual auror stuff. The Doctor was annoying to no ends again by repeating how dashing he looked. Watson and she kept glancing at Holmes and the Doctor. They were obviously experiencing a bromance.

The TARDIS materialised in a room, off the ballroom. Mary and the Doctor stopped in their tracks.

"Versailles" Mary said

"Reinette" the Doctor said in unison.

"Holmes. The time on this clock is incorrect." The Doctor looked at his watch, which was adjusted to Paris time. It was 7:00 and it showed 11:00. Mary had a feeling she knew what was going on and she turned the time to 12:00. The panel of the boudoir clock opened yet again and revealed another parchment scroll.

"It's seamless" Holmes took the parchment off her and tried opening it. Mary simply tapped it with her wand.

"Ah" Holmes said in defeat. Mary took out the red eraser from her bag and tried revealing the message. The writing appeared again.

* * *

Θ-σ, Mary

Remember the big bad wolf. The lord and Master will find you. You cannot do anything to help. Remember rule number 1.

* * *

"We need to decipher that message" Holmes said "But for once, I cannot understand it."

"Okay. Bad wolf. Rose Tyler. Lord and Master. The Master. Rule number one. The Doctor lies" Mary said pacing from left to right. The Doctor pacing from right to left.

"Okay, Rose Tyler. Leave that aside" the Doctor said first

"The Master. Maybe it's foreshadowing. I mean, they're both sadistic blokes" Mary said

"You cannot do anything to help" the Doctor said "Nothing… to… help" Something in Mary's mind clicked.

"Stupefy" she pointed at both Holmes and Watson. She blindfolded them and ran to the Doctor

"We can't help dispose of Moriarty. We both know how it ends, we can't interfere." The Doctor nodded Mary undid the spells and reversed their memories.

"The Doctor lies." The Doctor said next

"What if you fake death? You've done it heaps" Mary said

"Sorry, but fake death?" Watson said confused

"Yes. Hang on. I've got some left over." Mary dug in her bag

"Sorry, what left over?" Holmes asked

"Draught of living death. Sleeping draught. Used it last time I was versing Rudolphus Lestrange." Mary said holding a clear vial.

"There's hardly any left though" the Doctor said

"You only need 3 drops for an hour of unperturbed supposed-death." Mary said, looking menacingly at the vial, then at the Doctor.

"No, no, no you are not doing that. It's completely mental" he said

"You're mental." She retorted

* * *

"It'll take effect in 5 minutes. Enough time to modify Moriarty's memory" Mary said to Watson

"Okay. Moriarty would naturally be conversing with the intellects." Watson said

"Holmes should be there." She looked at her fob watch "Now" Holmes walked up to Moriarty and skilfully pulled him aside

"Hand" Mary asked for Watson's hand and she apparated behind him. Moriarty was now in a secluded corner

"Confundus" Mary said. Pointing her wand at his back. His eyes slid in and out of focus. "You will shut up, you will look for Holmes, you will listen to any commands given to you by Watson." Mary started

"You will return two of the factories, you will donate 75% of your money to an orphans of war charity."

"You will become slightly more sadistic. C'est Compris?" Mary asked

"Oui" he was unconscious on the floor

"That went well don't you think?" Watson asked her

"Spledidly."

"Care for a dance?" He held his hand out

"We're supposed to anyway. We need to wait for Holmes' signal that the Doctor is unconscious. Then Moriarty will rouse by then". Mary and Watson glided across the ballroom. Then the sound of a gun was heard. Everyone stopped and ran outside

"Yep. That's our cue" Watson said and they ran to the upper rooms meeting the Doctor who looked at them before 'dying'. Moriarty had obviously followed them and found the Doctor. He was checking pulses before he knocked out Mary and Watson using his henchmen.

"Oh bloody hell!" Mary screamed. She and Watson were prepared for this, but it was still a bit of a shock

"For an educated lady, your mouth would say otherwise." Moriarty said. She and Watson were tied in chairs. Now tell me how to revive this man or I will find the most amusing ways to kill you both. Doctor Watson, do tell me, where is Holmes?"

"Right here" Holmes said behind Moriarty. Holmes freed them both and Mary stood up, opening her purse, she took out her wand.

"I'll not be afraid of a stick" he said smugly, until a jet of water wet his face.

"It's not a stick." Mary retorted. However, 2 of Moriarty's henchmen took hostage of Holmes and Watson.

"Now, how tell me where did you and this man come from or else I shall kill them both." He said menacingly

"Well, he's an alien and I'm a witch from the future" she said simply

"Don't lie. Tell me the truth." He said even more dangerously and he took out a gun and held it at her heart.

"I have the right to remain silent." She mused, she spied the Doctor supressing a grin. He was faking death for an hour and now it had lifted

"Now.", he flicked the thing and was about to pull the trigger when Mary freed herself and fired the body-binding curse.

"Petrificus Totalus" she said and his arms snapped to his side

"Your scary, you know that. Brilliant, but scary nonetheless" Watson said to her as their captors ran out of the room

* * *

Doctor's POV

"Now. James Moriarty. Pleasure to meet you" he said. The Doctor was glad that Mary and Watson made it out of the room. It was funny for him, Moriarty wouldn't be able to talk or strike back.

"If you" he started in a darker voice "Think about killing people, if you think that you can get away with anything. If you think for one second that you can keep stealing these factories. THEN REMEMBER THIS." He raised his voice "YOU WILL BE STOPPED,BY NOT ONLY HOLMES, BUT BY ME AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO WANT TO" he finished and he walked out of the room.

* * *

"Doctor. How'd it go?" she asked him

"Fine. I missed out on the snacks though." He said

"Moriarty". She pointed her wand at him. "I would be really scared if I were you. You just got beaten by a _girl_ " she said evilly before the 4 of them ran to the TARDIS.

* * *

"I do thank you two for helping us. But now, I think we can do it on our own." Holmes said. He and Watson waved goodbye as the TARDIS dematerialised.

"You know, we should get your wife to join out little team. " Holmes said musingly

"No." Watson replied shortly and they walked back into 221B Baker street.

* * *

"Oh" she said as she came out of her room wearing tight blue skinny jeans, a cream cable knit-top with a baby-blue baby collar shirt under. All matched with her denim body bag, fitted with undetectable extension charm and converse.

"What is it?" he asked, setting the coordinates for the BBC shop in London

"Have I been through the void. Is Harry Potter in an alternate universe?" she said suddenly

"Oh, hang on. I need those 3-d glasses I had." He rummaged under the console. "Aha, here they are." He said. Putting them on. "No, you haven't." he said disbelievingly.

"Let me check?" she said, putting them on. She looked at herself and didn't see any black floaty bits. She looked at the Doctor and saw him covered in it. "Your still in it though, from when you, Mickey and Rose…" she said, confused.

"Okay. BBC shop, London, 2012." He said brightly and she joined in, shouting with glee when he did. Though, she was still confused.

* * *

A/N: Okay, I REALLY WANT REVIEWS *begs on knees, bowing down before you, tears streaming from her eyes* and i like dedicating things, so if you want to be dedicated to... feel free. And it's going to be a reunion fic now for a little bit, so if you have any ridiculous domestic ideas, PLEASE TELL ME.


	5. Lucinda Pond,Jason Smith, Gabrielle Tyle

A/N: Okay, i haven't finished Babysitting... yet. But you may need to read it to get the gist of the Pete's world bit in later chapters. Yeah, these are kids of the Children of time, i mean, who can't see Rory being all adorable over his baby daughter :) This chapter and the next are POVS of companions after the Doctor ditched them

Disclaimer: same rules apply. i do not own anything. i hate the fact that comic-con falls on my birthday and i'm half a world away... oh well

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 5: Lucinda Pond, Jason Smith and Gabrielle Tyler

Amy's POV, 2013

The Doctor had left her and Rory for a while now. Melody had just left, as she had come to visit her little sister. Lucinda was 6 months now.

"Shh…." Rory said as he soothed his daughter "It's alright Lucinda Williams" he said

"Pond" Amy interjected

"It's funny that the Doctor isn't here. He'd be here to annoy the hell out of us" Amy said in her Scottish accent. The absence of the Doctor was quite odd to her really, he had been in her life ever since she was 8.

"Amy, do you think we should…" Rory nodded in the bathroom's direction.

"Yes, and it's your turn" she said forcefully

"No it's not. I did it yesterday" he whined

"Yes it is" Amy said

"It is" he replied back grudgingly. Amy turned back to the scrapbook she was making and she stuck the TARDIS sticker she made on one of the pages.

To Amy, it was being abandoned by the Doctor again. He probably won't come back though she thought. He never mentioned anyone who he had travelled with before her, except River. But what were her chances of being remembered.

* * *

Martha's POV, 2012

"Just dropped of Jason" Mickey said to her, kissing her cheek as he entered the house

"Okay, is Tish going insane?" she asked as she looked at the medical report she was making. She and Mickey had retired from freelancing after she found out she was pregnant. Mickey was working in UNIT, from home while she worked as a doctor in a hospital.

"Not yet, though. She probably will." Mickey joked "What do you expect. He's a 3 year old who happens to be your son" he laughed. Martha threw one of the pillows off the couch at him.

"Okay. Anything interesting at UNIT?" Martha asked

"Not really, though I found some files on the Doctor." Mickey said

"Really, anything unusual. Anything at all?" Martha asked

"He used to work for them. Friends with some bloke called Brigadier Lewthbridge-Stewart. The Brigadier died last year." He said

"Oh. The Doctor must've taken that hard." Martha said sadly. She remembered when Harriet and countless others died for him. Martha thought that he probably didn't mention her or Mickey for that matter, to any of his new companions. That was the Doctor, just carry on with all that pain.

* * *

Rose's POV, 2009

"Darling?" Rose asked to the Doctor. He had just tucked in his baby daughter after spending countless hours with her in his arms. Rose wondered if he ever felt something like this since that war.

"Hm?" he asked, still staring at his daughter. Rose personally felt sorry for her child.

"I found this." Rose took out the envelope. It was TARDIS blue with silver writing at the front.

"It's addressed to us." the Doctor said, pulling out his brainy specs. He opened the envelope and found a sapphire pendant. It was the TARDIS in miniature. He found a piece of

"Parchment?" Rose said. The doctor licked it "Yep, yep, definitely parchment. Written with an eagle-feather quill." He said. He opened the folded note and read it.

* * *

"Doctor, Rose.

Hey guys. Yeah, your meant to find this a couple of years after your wedding. HAHA. Anyway, I sorta left my pendant there at your wedding… on purpose. You'll get why in a few years. Just trust me. Not the Doctor, as in the time-lord Doctor. He's a little psycho, you know how he is. You should know he regenerated. Not as hot as his 10th self, sadly *fangirl crying moment*

Lots of hugs to Gabrielle,

Mary L."

* * *

"Isn't Mary…" Rose started

"From Torchwood. But she wasn't at our wedding, this one. It must've been…" he looked at Rose

"Bad Wolf" they said in unison.

* * *

A/N: what do you expect from the Doctor's latest hypo companion? chances are she'll be fangirling all the time

Anyway, 4 chapters, 116 views and not a single bloody review. i may delete this story if no one reviews it. *such a loner, not even a hi* *starts sobbing hysterically* if it makes you feel guilty. my birthday is on the 14th, how would it feel to not give a review to a chick who probably won't get any doctor who related merchandise for her birthday *death stares you*


	6. Immortals and Timelords

A/N: Guess what. *you say what* i'm bringing back people haha :)

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 6: Immortals and Timelords

Donna's POV, 2012

It was weird enough. The Doctor gone. She said she would travel with him forever. Now it was back to what she did in 2008, looking for every possible detail.

A few years ago, she remembered. She was rushed to hospital by Shaun, who luckily enough, was promoted to a better job in an IT company. She was in hospital for days before her temperature dropped. Donna thought she was going to die. The Doctors there said it was a fever, or a tumour or something. But she knew it was her mind burning up from being a meta-crisis, however, she survived, not knowing how. Jack and Martha both visited her in hospital. They were both, very happy to see her, remembering who they were.

Donna tried getting everything out of them to find the Doctor. But Jack hadn't seen him for a while and Martha hadn't either. Then it hit her. That Sarah-Jane chick and her son. Donna visited Sarah-Jane, who informed her that she had just missed him. Sarah-Jane, Luke and Skye told her that the Doctor had regenerated and was now more rubbish-looking than ever, in her opinion. Though not as skinny, probably an improvement.

She had tried everyone. But Sarah-Jane had pointed to a new family in Leadworth, they knew the Doctor. They were the Williams and they had to know where he was. She knocked on the door and prayed to her dad that all would go well.

* * *

Jack's POV, 2012

Ianto had just gotten him a mug of coffee, for everyone really. It was odd dating a girl after Ianto, but she was THE one. He name was Jenny Smith. She was a cute, petite blonde who had to be the most innocent person after Emma Bunting, the baby spice. Though Jack remembered the first time he met her and he scared the shit out of her. She beat him up then killed him with her gun. She was definitely alien, but she wouldn't tell him anything about her. Until he found out. 2 hearts. Time lord.

He diverted himself from his thoughts to watching Owen and Tosh. How was it possible that they didn't admit their feelings for each other yet. Though, Rose/Doctor.

"Ianto, Jenny, Gwen." He called quietly to the 3 of them

"Jack, what is it now?" Gwen asked exasperatedly

"How long do you think until the start shagging?" he asked, eye brows wiggling

"A month" Ianto said

"A week" Gwen said

"Set them up already. They will by the end of the night" Jenny said. "10 quid on that?" she asked them all

"Yes." They agreed

"But Ianto, you have to make us all coffee for the rest of the year, every time we say so" Jack said, smirking. The game was _so_ on.

* * *

A/N: yes i'm an when it comes to torchwood. HOW DARE YOU KILL OFF TOSH/OWEN/IANTO. May i add before i get any flames, the Doctor said that when it came to 51st century men, they weren't particular when it came to dancing. Therefore, it's always possible Jack'll be straight for one hot chick. Yes i brought back Jenny, who doesn't love her? love my little spice girls reference :P anyway, PLEASE REVIEW... MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW AND I'LL GET ALL DEPRESSED IF I DON'T GET A REIVIEW


	7. The Meaning of it all

A/N: Okay, you've survived all these different POVS. Now back to the present. (i was trying to make a back to the future reference in this A/N, still to no avail), i may do a one shot about what happens during chapters 5/6.

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 7: The Meaning of it all

"Remind me not to let you go to Renaissance Italy anytime soon. Or at all for that matter" he said to her

"Just because they were more impressed with me and not you" she said smugly. Mary went to her room to get changed. Today opting for a floral dress, denim-crop blazer and her blue converse. Her converse were high cuts that were folded to show the 2 linings. The folded was blue with white polka dots. The one that stayed up were white with blue polka dots. Mary's hair was taken out of that ridiculous style and she brushed it out into its normal straightness.

"Now. Where to now" he was stopped by the buzzing that came out of the scanner. "Will you stop that. I am talking" he banged it one it's side and it started to hum louder. Mary rolled her eyes, and pointed her wand at the screen

"Reparo" it seemed to stop buzzing and the screen was flashing. The Doctor kept banging it. "Honestly. You're the one with the screwdriver" Mary pulled his blazer open and pulled out his sonic. She activated it and pointed it at the screen

"No, that's not the right frequency" he said, snatching it out of her hands he turned it again and pressed the button. The image came up clear.

"Shit. We are so dead" Mary said in a dead voice.

* * *

Rose's POV, Pete's World

"Honey. Are you done yet with the twins?" Rose called to the Doctor. Rose was carrying their now 4 year-old daughter Gabrielle.

"Yes, I'm here" the Doctor rushed down with his 2 fraternal twins. Rose-look alike, Donna and Doctor-look alike Jack.

"Do you have it?" the Doctor was referring to Gabrielle's 1st birthday invitations a few years back

"Yes. It's addressed to them both" Rose said "But, they'll bring them along. Knowing Mary and the Doctor" Rose said.

"Good. They told us everything, so we know when and where to meet them" the Doctor said

"But won't that be a paradox?" Rose asked, bouncing Gabrielle slightly

"Yes, well… the TARDIS should be able to sustain it. It's not as if we're meeting future selves" the Doctor replied and they left the manor, getting into their 4-wheel drive

* * *

"Bad Wolf" they said in unison. Back in the TARDIS

"That's what it meant" the Doctor said before the entire TARDIS began to tremble. Both of them were being thrown to and fro.

"This is so NOT freaking happening again" Mary said disbelievingly

"If you mean falling through the void and into an alternate universe, then yes" the Doctor replied, even he, barely able to hold on.

"But it could be ANY alternate universe, not Pete's World" Mary replied worryingly

"It would be, the clues left behind all said bad-wolf, so it means…" He trailed off, before the TARDIS shuddered to a halt and Mary fell on top of him.

"Why does this always happen to me?" Mary muttered. In her friend's novel, she had knocked over David Tennant. Twice. 6 gas masks fell from the roof and they both couldn't help themselves. They put one on each.

"Are you my Mummy?" they asked in unison, arm outstretched, before collapsing into giggles

* * *

"Papa? But we KNOW auntie Mary. She's our Godmother" Donna said

"Yes, well… sort of. This is probably her alternate self." He explained. Rose rolled her eyes, typical him to explain it this way.

"Daddy, what's an alternam-alter…" Jack unable to pronounce it

"Alternate self, sweetheart" Rose explained "Like me, they're from my universe, your dad and I fell through the void and ended up here once. We met alternate versions of people we knew" she explained.

* * *

Mary took the 3-d glasses of the console surface and looked at herself. "Well. I'm covered now" she said.

"We have to be VERY careful." He said warningly as they stepped out of the TARDIS, walking to the centre of the city.

"Of course, hey, you know Lumic, you know Lumic" she began spontaneously

"Well, David Tennant played Barty Crouch Jr, while Rodger Lloyd-Pack played Sr. Then in Doctor Who, David Tennant played the Doctor then Lloyd-Pack played Lumic. Their roles were reversed" she said, all at high-speed and worryingly enthusiastically.

"Really?" the Doctor said, for once amused by her spontaneous trivia. "And I think we know which universe we're in" he said. Pointing to a magazine store. There was a copy of a magazine, a best seller, with Rose Tyler on the front page. The Doctor bought a copy from the lady, using the psychic paper, then Mary dragged him into the first fish-and-chip shop they could find to buy some chips. Mary walked out with their orders and sat in the park. Reading how Rose and the Doctor managed to cope with their lives.

* * *

_Rose Tyler-Smith, daughter of Multi-Billionaire; Mr Peter Tyler and his wife, the lovely Jackie Tyler._

"I doubt you could call her that" the Doctor snorted

_Today at the _Ladies' Corner_ we reveal the inside of the Tyler house hold and the domestic life Rose Tyler-Smith holds_

_Rose, what is it like to have such a wonderful family?_

_"I think they're more than wonderful, they're absolutely special. I mean, we annoy each other from time to time, but all families do that. Jonathan's just really loving, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Gabrielle's starting school soon, and she's really excited, Though, her daddy's probably the reason why. Jack and Donna" _

"Lol" Mary said

"She didn't" the Doctor said

_"Are learning really quickly. Donna wants to be a doctor and Jack wants to be exactly like his daddy"_

"Awww" they said in unison

_Rose, Tell us, Do you ever reach that breaking point. I'm sure all women do?_

_"I think you answered your own question. All women break down. I do, it's not easy with toddlers, but me and Jonathan are there for the 3 little ones and as a family, we get through it all"_

She and the Doctor read the last few Q/A. They weren't extremely important, though, the Doctor may have picked something up.

"Okay, we should keep moving. We should…" he trailed off

"Find Rose and the Doctor? You were certainly implying it" Mary said expectantly and they went towards the fashion district, looking for them.

* * *

Rose and Gabrielle, 2012, Pete's world, in search of Mary

"Gabrielle, remember what i said, okay?" Rose said

"Wait for Auntie Mary's alternate self, I'll know when, call for you. Molto Bene" little Gabrielle said brightly

"I really don't know why your father says that. I'll be looking for a gift for Ella and Joshua, okay?" Rose said, entering the kids clothing store.

* * *

Mary was walking past the stores. She couldn't resist the look of one of the clothing stores for kids. Teddy and Victoire were expecting a baby and she couldn't resist the chance of buying one when.

"Oi!, leave the kid alone mate!" she raised her voice to a well -dressed man, who had knocked over the cute, little brunette girl. She was small, cute with the oddly familiar eyes.

"I didn't do nothing sweetheart" he said, spotting her. Mary crossed the street, confronting him "What's your name, love?" the business man asked her

"One, use of the double negative. 2, may I ask, what the hell is yours?" she retorted before she took the little girl's hand and sat with her on the near-by bench.

"I'll be suing you!" he shouted at her.

"Well I work for Scotland yard. Not bloody likely" she shouted back. "well, equivalent of" she muttered.

"Sorry, What's your name sweetie?" she asked the little girl kindly.

"Gabrielle Smith. I've been looking for you Mary." She said, before Mary was dragged by her into the little clothing store.

"Mummy, Mummy!" she said. "I think I've found auntie Mary's alternate self" she said

"Mary, hello, I'm" she was cut off

"No way, Your Rose Tyler. You are my favourite companion out of them all, you are like…" Mary was in fangirl mode, though not as enthusiastic as usual as she was in a shop

"But?" Rose was cut off yet again

"I need to tell the Doctor, hang on, come with me" they exited the store and Mary pulled out her replica 10th Doctor's sonic screwdriver

"How come you've got the screwdriver?" Rose asked

"Replica." Mary replied, holding it in front of the phone. It was set to turn on at that sound. Mary quickly phoned the Doctor.

* * *

The Meta-Crisis with Jack and Donna, 2012, Pete's World, in search of the Doctor

"Now, what would you rather, a banana smoothie or a strawberry smoothie?" Jonathan asked the twins

"Papa, mango please" Donna said

"But I didn't say, oh well… alright. Jack?"

"Banana daddy. Please" he said with his puppy-eyes face

"Okay, I'll have 2 banana smoothies and a mango smoothie" the Doctor said to the girl at the counter. They stepped aside to wait, their place taken by a man with a bowtie, who the Doctor remembered…

* * *

The Doctor

"I'll have a banana smoothie and one crunchie thickshake with chocolate ice cream" he said to the lady at the counter. He paid and picked up his phone as it began to ring. Mary had jokingly set the ringtone as the Torchwood themesong.

"Hello, Mary?" he asked

"Doctor. Found them. Where are you anyway, you better not be buying a fez" she said sternly

"Next to the fez shop actually, I'm at the smoothie store. I got you one, it's a crunchie thickshake with chocolate ice cream"

"I LOVE you right now. Remind me to blow up your next fez" she said and hung up.

* * *

Mary saw them and she ushered Rose and Gabrielle to hurry up

* * *

Meta-Crisis

He saw Rose and Gabrielle with

"They found her" Jonathan said to the twins. They picked up their milkshakes, just as Mary and Rose with Gabby caught up with them.

* * *

Mary's POV

"Doctor. There you are" she said to him and got her thickshake, loving every sip of it.

"Still can't believe he turns into you?" Rose turned away from Jonathan

"Yeah. I know, not as hot as he used to be. Not as many fan girls either" Mary said teasingly, both Doctors stammering. Rose replied with a laugh

"A bow tie, it's ridiculous?" Rose said still laughing.

"Rose, can we get into the car, I have a feeling it'll take a while" the human Doctor said to Rose

"Hang on… TARDIS" Mary pointed out

"No" the human Doctor and Rose said in unison

"What!" the Doctor and Mary said in unison

"It's a complicated story" Rose said, Mary picking up threads and made an _oh_ sound

They all walked back into the 4-wheel drive and Mary sat in the back with the kids.

"Do you know any stories about your dad?" Mary asked them

"Well, some of them" little Jack replied

"Well, what about Christmas, 2005, that was your dad's first adventure after regenerating." Mary had the audience grasped with them and she told them as much of the details possible.

"Then your dad challenged the leader of the Sycorax, and he fought him with the sword." She mimed it with the straw and Donna tried fighting it. "Then…" she paused dramatically "His hand got cut off" the kids gasped. "But he grew it back." And they all released their breaths "Because he was in his first 15 hours of regeneration. He didn't know that his hand was found by none other than Captain Jack Harkness" Mary said and Jack swelled with pride. "Jack, I don't think you should meet Harkness actually, not until you get all the jokes he makes" Mary said

* * *

They arrived at the mansion and Mary was miming a thing involving Cybermen to the Doctor. They all sat in the living room, drinking, predictably, tea.

"So… Awkward moment" Mary said, pulling out her laptop, flicking through funny Doctor Who pictures, looking for one "Out of curiosity, did you get a TARDIS coral?" Mary asked, cursing RTD for that deleted scene.

"Yes, it should be ready by Christmas, actually" Jonathan said

"Did you amplify it by 66%" the Doctor asked. Typical geek question

"Yes and I reversed-" he was cut off by Mary

"The polarity of the neutron flow" Mary finished

"How'd you know that" he asked curiously. Mary turned the screen of her laptop around, revealing a collage of famous quotes.

"Speaking of." Mary rummaged through her bag "Jelly baby?" she held out a white, paper bag, offering some to everyone, leaving the rest with the kids.

"How do you know this?" Gabrielle , Jack and Donna asked, still looking confused

"I'm a fan of a TV series called Doctor Who. I'm a fan of Harry Potter. I happen to be obsessed and have written fanfictions. I have outfits for my favourite Doctors and companions and MERCHANDISE!" she pulled out her sonic screwdriver and handed it to Rose, she pulled out her 11th Doctor sonic screwdriver and handed that to Jonathan and she pulled out "Sonic Lipstick, Sarah-Jane Adventures, she gets a spin-off. But Jack has one too, Torchwood and it's pretty damn awesome" Mary pulled out her official Torchwood encyclopaedia and handed that to the 11th Doctor as well.

"Is your bag…" Rose started

"Bigger on the inside. Undetectable extension charm. I'm.." she was cut off

"A witch, we know, you were here at Gabby's first. Why we were looking for the both of you. This was how you got into the alternate universe. And know your link is physical" Rose took out the envelope, but it was snatched by the 11th Doctor, who licked it.

"Still haven't lost that habit?" Rose asked

"2012, later than now though" he said. Mary read it and found the pendant.

"That's mine from my 17th " she said

"You left it here on Gabrielle's Birthday to make the link physical. This time the walls of the universe are leaving a gap. But the only thing it seems to let out is the TARDIS" Rose said "We were monitoring it at Torchwood"

"Hey, does a guy called Ianto Jones work there?" Mary felt like asking

"Yeah, and his girlfriend Liz, why?" Mary made a 'don't worry' gesture

"You guys bought a lot of people. I'm sure you'll know who" Jonathan said

"Oh, catch with the gap. It only opens at one time every Friday, 4:00 pm on the dot." Rose explained

"Cool, I'll just watch a random Doctor Who episode." Mary pulled out her season 4 DVD and picked Unicorn and the Wasp.

* * *

Donna Temple-Noble, 2013, Leadworth, Knocking on the door

"Hello. I'm Donna Temple-Noble" she said "I was told by a friend of mine, Sarah-Jane, that you know the Doctor"

"Oh. I'm Amy, Amy Pond. Yeah, come in" she said. Donna took a seat in the kitchen with Amy's Husband and their baby daughter, who had the most adorable expression

"She does that, takes after her mum" Amy said in her Scottish accent. "Rory, This is Donna. She knew the Doctor."

"I'm Rory." He said "Why are you here, if you don't mind me asking?" he said, multi-tasking by giving Lucinda her bottle

"I'm looking for him" Donna explained everything she could, until it came to her amnesia

"I am so sorry." Amy said "But I can't get to him either, we left when I, well, we found out we were expecting"

"Amy. Shush" Rory heard something

"Did you just shush me?" she asked

"No." Donna heard it too

"Doctor. They said at the same time and ran out the front door.

* * *

A few hours earlier, Pete's World, 2012, Mary's POV

"Now, go to Amy first. It's essential" Jonathan said

"No spoilers?" Mary asked

"Nope" he said popping his p's.

"Just, don't panic." He said as they dematerialised to Leadworth.

* * *

A few days later, after Visiting an older Hercule Poirot :

"Doctor." She said as he typed out coordinates "We should go to Amy AFTER she gave birth, otherwise she won't come." She said

"Yes, I was- was- about to do that" he said. Though Mary distinctly saw him press the backspace button.

* * *

"Doctor" they said in unison

* * *

"WOAH, HOLY SHIT" Mary said stepping out.

"She-" the Doctor started

"remembered" they said in unison

"Sorry, but who are you?" Rory asked Mary

"Mary Lozada. EPIC FAN, OH MY GOD IT'S ACUTALLY AMY, RORY AND DONNA, OH MY GOD" she said squealing

"How do you know?" Amy asked

"Long story. Involves a TV show about you." She said dismissively.

"Where's the Doctor?" Donna asked and the three of them pointed at him.

"Space man, what did you DO to your eyebrows, blow them up while fixing the TARDIS?" they laughed, the Doctor blushed. "And is that a Bowtie?" she asked, touching it

"Bowties are cool" he said. "Now, are we getting in or not?" he asked the 3 of them and they stepped into the TARDIS.

* * *

A/N: Yes, do i look like i can drive the TARDIS, no. Okay, so we're picking people up... HAHAHAH. Can i just ask, is the name Lucinda okay? it sounds pretty scottish. Okay, i haven't finished babysitting yet, wait, hang on, i think i've written the last chapter, i'll upload it. I've been quite busy at school, annoying my ex-drama teacher (aka, homeroom teacher next door) with my un-ending Doctor Who trivia.


	8. Pick Ups

A/N: Okay, now, beware all this stuff on Torchwood and SJA. I've only seen some TW episodes and no SJA episodes, so I'm sorry if something (more like everything) is impossible. I'm AU with Torchwood coz i cried when i found out they killed Tosh/owen/Ianto. Oh, Ianto does die in series 3 right?

Okay, things are going to get so damn confusing coz there's so many people

Dedicated to: My Followers; CalamityQueen13, Hufflepuff-Finder0622 and madmick74. Also to my reviewers; RoseBlacksmithers, Hufflepuff-finder :)

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 8: Pick ups

"Donna, but you should've" he said when they got inside

"Don't know how right, but I was rushed to hospital and I was in ICU for a few day, then I got out." She said

"That it?" Mary asked

"Yeah, but I remember feeling really stressed, beyond stressed when I was there, when I got out, I was calmer. Not a normal stress mind you, but like the world would end if you blinked." She said

"Not a good time to reference weeping angels?" she asked Amy

"No, don't think so" she said. "Oi, stupid face. I would like to carry my daughter for once." She took Lucinda off Rory.

"Oh, she's better then Melody. She ACTUALLY calls you mummy, and she calls Rory the Last centurion. Oh that's cute" he said

"The Last centurion?" Rory asked, looking at his daughter

"At least you aren't stupid-face" Mary said, the Doctor snorting.

* * *

"Martha. Is that the washing machine?" Mickey said, hearing a whooshing noise

"No, I turned it off" they looked at each other as a big, blue box turned up in the middle of the living room

* * *

"Mickey? Martha?" the Doctor called them

"Oh my god. Did you regenerate?" Mickey asked him

"Yes, and I happen to like the way I look, thank you very much." He said

"And to those who thought you looked awesome as David Tennant, we do not agree" Mary said stepping out.

"Martha, he DID regenerate. Sorry, he doesn't have as many fan girls now" Martha laughed.

"Can I just ask. Health and safety reasons. Are you pregnant?" the Doctor asked

"No, but our son, Jason is with Tish for the week." She said

"Okay, get in. I have to pick up some more people" the Doctor said as they both stepped in.

"Donna!" Martha hugged her, then Mickey

"Martha, Mickey. This is Amy and Rory and baby Lucinda" Donna said and they promptly started cooing.

"Should I?" the Doctor asked

"Sarah-Jane and Jack. They ARE the ones with their own spin-offs" Mary said.

* * *

"You guys all owe me 10 quid" Jenny said

"Yes, oh goddess of matchmaking" Jack said, before planting a quick kiss on her lips.

* * *

"Cardiff. The Hub." The Doctor said stepping out

"Martha, you know where this is, right?" Mary asked.

"Yeah, the whole reset drug thing" she said

"That was a really cool episode." Mary said. Not bothering to answer the Doctor's confused face.

They all entered the 'tourist' office. The Doctor, Mary, Martha, Donna, Amy, Rory and baby Lucinda, currently being held by Donna.

"Martha! Who are they?" Ianto asked. Mary wanted to cry, Ianto wasn't dead.

"Jack'll know" they entered the hub.

"Martha Jones. Nice to see you again" Jack said "Who else, Mickey Mouse"

"Oi" Mickey said

"Donna and who are you guys"

"Jack" Mary started

"Woah, you know me?"

"Haha, complicated. This is Amy and Rory, and Lucinda is being cooed over by Donna. The Doctor sorta regenerated." She said "I'm Mary. I'm the new kid." She waved.

"How do you know me? And I'm for once, not being suggestive about that" he said seriously

"Basically. There's a TV show; Doctor Who. Torchwood is one of the spin-offs. It's pretty damn cool. Until they killed off Tosh, Owen and Ianto." She ranted on in high speed

"Doctor. Not as pretty as before" he said "You were taller and skinnier. You had eyebrows. Is that a bowtie?" Jack inspected him.

"What is it with bowties. Bow ties are cool!" he said.

"Jack, is there someone there?" Tosh and Owen came out, both holding slices of pizza

"Guys, this is my team" he said to the Doctor Who lot. "Ianto, Toshiko, Owen, Gwen and"

"Wait, Gwen, where is?" he didn't finish his question. "Ah," he saw her "And Jenny."

"Donna? Martha?" Jenny saw them both and ran to them.

"Oh my god. We thought you were dead." They said

"I wasn't. I sort of woke up after 7 hours" she said

"But your dad thinks you're dead" Donna said

* * *

Doctor's POV

Jenny. It wasn't possible. It definitely wasn't possible. He waited. She didn't wake up. He had a feeling Mary knew what was going on, as she didn't look fazed, if not, as if all her dreams came true at once.

* * *

"Mary…" he asked

"Okay. Jenny wakes up, steals escape pod. That's all I know" Mary said truthfully

"Doctor. Do you know Jenny? She's a Time Lord" he asked

"Doctor. That's my dad's name. Do you know him?" she asked

"Yes, very well actually," he started

"You regenerated. All that information was out into my head when I was created" she broke apart from the girls and she hugged him. "You're shorter." She said

"Why does EVERYONE say that!" he asked

"Wait" Jack said after they finished hugging "You're her dad?" he asked disgusted

"Yes, I'm her dad, why?" Ianto spat out his coffee, laughing so hard

"You've been snogging his daughter" Mary picked up the hesitation on snogging and started laughing too

"You are so DEAD Jack." Mary said "No actually. I have a knife. Doctor, should I" Mary still kept laughing.

"Wait. She's a blonde. Are you and Rose not telling me something?" Mary was laughing with Donna and Martha. Ianto, now confused.

"Ianto. Doctor's 10th self's love-interest. I ship them actually, they're my wallpaper." Mary pulled out her laptop and showed him the screen

"Going my way doll?" he read, confused

"Oh, season 2 episode." She said.

"No Jack, Jenny's a generated-anomaly, she was created from my cells, made to act as both parent" the Doctor started, getting Mary to finish the sentence

"Then they sped up the growth rate, to produce Jenny" she said

"Hello" Jenny said.

* * *

They decided to re-bond by having coffee, so Mary sat with Jack, who looked really disturbed.

"So, how did you find out she was time Lord?" she asked him

"Do you really want to know?" he asked

"I have a wrong-minded feeling that I do" and he nodded

"Ah, what is it with you and shagging people?" she asked, taking a bite of the meat-supreme pizza

"Why were they so surprised to see her?" he asked

"Jenny took a bullet for her dad on the planet Messaline, it was supposed to kill the Doctor, but Jenny saw the gun being pointed at him. She died in his arms. The Doctor nearly killed General Cobb, because he was that depressed. I mean, General Cobb was just pissed that the war was a stalemate and the Doctor ended it." She said

"How is it you find it that easy to memorise plotlines.?" He asked intrigued

"I'm an obsessed fan girl. Believe me" she said.

They were all bonding in the main hub.

"Wait, what were you saying about Ianto, Tosh and Owen getting killed off?" Gwen asked

"Okay, Long story. Season 2. Martha comes along in the episode reset. Owen gets shot. I start crying" Owen looked touched "But Jack decides to get the LEFT resurrection gauntlet" they looked sternly at Jack "To say goodbye, so they do. Tosh admits to Owen that she likes him" Mary looked at the cute little gaze between them "But Owen eventually thinks it was just because he was dying. Sadly enough. Anyway, Gray comes along" Jack looked shocked "Goes along killing people. Tosh and Owen eventually admit liking each other, but Tosh dies, then Owen's body is disintegrated, they die within moments of each other. Then there's the bit where Ianto dies in season 3, in Jack's arms." She finished off. Jack and Gwen's jaws hanging off.

"Do they mention my wedding to Rhys?" Gwen asked

"Oh yeah, it's a really cool episode. Then when that thing is on you, and Ianto has to find a wedding dress he tries one in front of him in the mirror, and the lady just death-stares him. It's so funny" Mary started laughing.

"Jack. You will have to cope with this." The Doctor said to him underhandedly

"Wait so Owen's not immortal?" Amy asked

"Jack is" most of the Children of Time replied with Torchwood and Mary

"Watch. Gwen, Gun" Mary asked. Gwen threw it at her, Mary catching it

"I've always wanted to try killing Jack" Mary said brightly, pulling the trigger. Amy and Rory looked shocked. But they released their breaths when Jack got up.

"How did a pretty face like you end up killing someone.?" He asked flirtatiously

"Ehem. Doctor's here" she said

"I've been meaning to do that." He mused

"Aha" Jack said to the Doctor's stony face. Mary's phone beeped.

"dum-dum-da-dum" it beeped

"Oh My god" Jack, Martha and the Doctor said. It was the arch-angel network, it was the heart beat of a time lord. It was the sound of drums

"Chill, it's a ringtone." She said, reading the text. "haha, Rose thinks Al can't find an appropriate birthday present." The Children of Time looked at her

"Weasley."

"Wait. Harry Potter exists.?" Rory asked "Harry Potter, are you going to say Merlin exists too?" he said sceptically

"Well…" the tenth-doctor-era companions looked at her again "It does. Merlin was a Slytherin. Morgana was a Ravenclaw. I mean, I'm an auror." Mary decided to use Jack as a punching bag.

"Petrificus Totalus" she said. Jack froze, eyes in a 'okay, cool, you got me' mood. Rory and the others remained blank. "Well, aren't we going to ship him in the TARDIS?" Mary said mischievously, before they all went back into the TARDIS

* * *

Sarah-Jane Smith, 2012

Sarah-Jane was busy. Luke and Sky just came back from school and they were all doing homework. Rani and Clyde were both sick, so she was hands-free for a while.

"No" Sarah-Jane said, Luke with her

"Mum? What is it." The TARDIS appeared in her kitchen.

* * *

"Doctor!" she said pleasantly as he and Mary stepped out. "And who are you?"

"New kid" Mary said. "I'm Mary. Needless to say. OH MY GOD YOU ARE LIKE SO AWESOME, YOU'RE LIKE THE BEST COMPANION EVER!"

"Sorry what?" Sarah-Jane was confused

"Okay. TV show on the Doctor since 1963. You're on it, you're played by Elizabeth Sladen. Anyway, you were there in his 3rd and 4th selves, you've met the Brig. He was really cool. You make a comeback in 2006 with Rose, and because of the success, you get a spin off. It was cancelled after Liz died." She finished sadly.

"Doctor, is that true?" she asked

"Yes, it is. I've got my own merchandise" he said happily. Mary dug in her bag for her toy sonic-lipstick.

"Sonic lipstick. Bought it the other day, well… 2012 at the BBC shop." She pulled out her sonic lipstick and examined it with interest.

"Wait. When the guy who plays the Brig died, he died in Doctor Who. What about Jo, do you know?" Sarah-Jane nodded. Mary felt tears flow down her cheeks, the Doctor looked as if his guts had been torn out by Davros. Liz died.

"When?" the Doctor asked

"a few months ago actually. I was there with a few other people. Tegan, Johnny Chess ,Liz "

"Did you ever meet Romana?" * Mary asked out of curiosity

"Yes, I did, Leela too, what happened to them?"Sarah-Jane asked

"They were on Gallifrey." the Doctor said, Sarah-Jane's face comprehended.

"Speaking of, if Romana was high president, then why was Rassilon high president in the last days?" Mary asked the Doctor. They both still had tears in their eyes.

"Rassilon took over, he thought it was getting too much" he simplified.

"Anyway, why we're here is. We're going to a birthday party, and probably more than that and we were wondering" Mary started

"Fancy a trip?" the Doctor asked excitedly too

"Well, what about Luke and Sky. I mean, I don't want them to come, it's too dangerous, but if I do come, where will they go?" she was worried.

"Don't worry mum. I'll take care of Sky" Luke said. Sarah-Jane was reassured. She stepped in.

* * *

back in the TARDIS, it was pretty crowded. Jack, Jenny, Donna, Martha, Mickey, Amy, Rory, Sarah-Jane and a baby no to mention. Though Lucinda expertly took the spotlight, to keep everyone busy.

"I've found everyone's rooms and moved them up slightly to keep them in the same area. I've got a nursery ready. Is there anything else?" he said

"Doctor, where the hell are we going anyway?" Jack asked

"Okay. Big announcement." Mary said in a loud voice "Rose and the Doctor's other self, got married and now they've got 3 kids." There was a bit of a buzz, a few laughs. Amy, Rory and Jenny, being the newest were all confused . "Hey, blush moment. They named their kids: Gabrielle Clarisse, Jack Alastair and Donna Martha. Jack and Donna are twins. Anyway, fell through the void" Mary said

"Ended up in an alternate universe" the Doctor said

"Again" they said in unison

"So we got invited to Gabrielle's first, seeing as we were there and the whole keeping to time line things." Mary finished

"Catch is, we can only get there on a Friday at 4:00 pm, on the dot in relative time" he said

"We were already there, so we have to wait a couple of days" Mary explained

"This'll be fun" she muttered to herself.

* * *

"What are you listening to?" Jack asked as Mary was on her i-pod. The console was pretty crowded, but it was fun.

"Hang on, just wait for this one to finish. Okay" she pulled out the ear plugs and let everyone hear it. Martha, the Doctor and Jack grinned.

"My angel put the devil in me" Mary said as the song finished. "Original Doctor Who song. Pretty damn cool. There's a fan band called Chameleon Circuit."

"There'll be so many broken chameleon circuit jokes when they break up" the Doctor said

"I know. Anyway, they've got really cool songs. Rory" she said

"Yes" he replied

"There's one called Mr Pond" she said and everyone laughed "Mind you, there's heaps of cool songs by them. Like still not ginger." She laughed

"Wait, if there's a band and everything. Why can't we see it?" Martha asked

"It's probably a perception filter. Or like the silent" Amy and Rory shuddered "You'll see it, then forget you ever did."

* * *

A/N: Okay, now, a bit of TARDIS domesticity for a bit:), beware my sense of fun. I would really like reviews. Congratulations roseblacksmither, you got a slice of cake *imaginary om nom nom and left over crumbs* so did you Hufflepuff-finder :)

Okay, literally everything that you find confisuing will be explained next chapter.

Now SPOILERS, i am going to have a bit of a musical later on, if you have a song that Jack, Jenny, Mary, the Doctor and Donna can all relate to, please tell me and if you have an idea for the choreography, much appreciated


	9. TARDIS domesicity

A/N: Okay, i've been stocking up on chapters, so just, heads up. Please tell me how these chapters are :(

Shout out to my Followers: Hufflepuff-Finder, Madmick74 and Short-Circuited.

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 9: TARDIS Domesticity

It was hilarious seeing the Doctor being bothered every few seconds by all his companions.

"Mary, What are you listening to?" the Doctor asked, just to get the spotlight away from him. Mary replayed the song then unplugged the ear plugs

"_It's not easy having your -self a good time.  
Greasing up those bets and betters,  
Watching out them don't four letters…."_

The Doctor's realised the song

"_Oh I Just can't decide, whether I'll let you live or die  
Oh you'd probably go to heaven  
please don't hang your head and cry  
no wonder why my heart feels dead inside  
it's hard and cold and petrified  
lock the doors and close the blinds  
we're going for a ride"_

"I can't decide, by the scissor sisters. Oh my god, you have to see the bit from Doctor Who" Mary quickly opened up YouTube and showed them the clip

"Who's that?" Amy asked

"The Master" Martha said Sarah-Jane's face went blank

"The guy can give a hell of a snog" Amy commented. Ironic seeing as she worked as a kissogram

"Haha, there used to be a rumour that Rory was the Master's son" Mary said , Rory stuttered

"The Master's an evil time lord. Used to be a mate of the Doctor. They were part of this group called the Deca."

"I can see why though" Amy said.

"Speaking of." The Doctor said to them "Where's Jack and Jenny?" most of them burst out laughing

"You naïve child" Donna said laughing. He comprehended it and turned red

"You could always kill him" Mary suggested.

* * *

Mary woke up in the middle of the night to a whole lot of chaos. Her hair was parted to the side and done into two, low plaits. She was wearing her t-shirt reading "Daleks are superior beings" and her flannel pyjama pants had TARDISES all over them. Her night-robe was her Hogwarts robe. Pulling out her wand she apparated downstairs

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW?" Mary shouted, quieting everyone

"the entire TARDIS is being broken into" the Doctor said.

"Nice pyjamas." Jack smirked

"Better than yours" she retorted back. Jack was wearing his boxer shorts and a plain shirt. Most of the girls were in night-gowns. Most of the guys in boxer shorts and shirt, or pyjama pants and shirts. Sarah-Jane seemed to be the only one awake with the Doctor.

"Intrusion in 3, 2, 1" the Doctor said

"Hello sweetie. Is there a pyjama party?" River said. Her mop of blonde-brown hair everywhere

"You don't have to break into it like that" the Doctor said annoyed

"I wasn't breaking in. My key got stuck" she said innocently. "You've got yourself quite the reunion" she said "And you are?" she asked Mary

"Mary. New kid. Guys, this is River. Technically Melody Pond" she said

"Oh, you clever one. How did you know?"

"TV series." She said simply

"Now. What would you do on a night were the all of the Doctor's companions?" River suggested. Mary getting the hint and apparated to her room, pulling out her DVDS.

"Okay, we can't watch them all. Especially for you River. Spoilers." Okay. The episodes I really want to watch. Hmm, 45 minutes, okay. All- nighter. Okay if I do 1 or 2 episodes from each season, from season 2 on. So from 2 I'll do: New Earth and probably The Idiot's lantern. Season 3 I'll do Shakespeare code and blink. Season 4: Partners in crime, Unicorn and the Wasp. Season 5: Eleventh Hour and Vampires of Venice. Season 6: When a good man goes to war and Closing Time ." Mary said

"I have no idea on what you just said." Mickey said

"I know. Trust me" she said.

* * *

**Reactions to New Earth:**

"Woah, Doctor" Amy said, as Rose, being possessed by Cassandra epically snogged the Doctor

"I honestly didn't know that" The Doctor said as he watched himself be possessed by Cassandra

"That's why I liked your 10th self" Mary said

**Reactions to Idiot's lantern:**

"Cool scooter" Mickey said

"Dad, I can I have one?" Jenny asked

"No" both Jack and the Doctor said

"Cool shoes" Donna said

"This is why I liked your 10th self" Mary said yet again

**Reactions to Shakespeare Code:**

"Haha, I did cry in the 7th book" Mary said, several people agreeing

"EXPELLIARMUS" Rory, Martha, Mary and the Doctor said, when Shakespeare said it

"Back to the Future? Seriously?" Sarah-Jane asked, interested

"Definitely why I liked your 10th self" Mary added "Harry Potter fan"

**Reactions to Blink:**

"She's nice." Amy said in regards to Sally

"Wow, and you got blinked to the 60's, lucky you didn't crash into yourself" Sarah-Jane said

"This is why I like Steven Moffat." Mary added

"Scary" Jenny said

**Reactions to Partners in Crime:**

"That, was classic" Jack said

"Poor dear" Sarah-Jane said to the girl who's body disappeared

"They're adorable" Martha said

"This is why I bow down before David Tennant and Catherine Tate" Mary said

**Reactions to Unicorn and the Wasp:**

"Haha" Donna laughed at herself

"That must've been the fishiest kiss you ever had" Jack said

"This is why I worship Agatha Christe" Mary said profusely.

**Reactions to Eleventh Hour:**

"You didn't think he was a paedophile, at all mother?" River asked

"Mental images of Rory dressed in the 10th Doctor's outfit" Mary said

"What's with the silence will fall?" Mickey wondered

**Reactions to Vampires of Venice:**

"I thought I DID burst out of the wrong cake" the Doctor said to their laughter

"You owe Casanova a chicken?" Martha asked

"David Tennant played Casanova" Mary thought aloud

"I kissed her mouth. Classic dad. Honestly" Jenny laughed

"Haha, broom" Mary said "And sign of the cross"

"That's the chick who plays Narcissa Malfoy" Mary said, though they were interested in it.

"A partnership any which way you want. That's wrong" Jack said "Good rejection though"

**Reaction to When a good man goes to war**

"Aww" most of them said to a baby Melody

"You speak baby?" Donna asked

"Wait, shouldn't I be there?" Jack asked

"They were supposed to get John Barrowman, but he was filming for Torchwood" Mary said simply

**Reaction to Closing Time**

"Aww" most of the girls said to a baby Alfie

"You bothered to read that?" Rory asked when he read the little baby-book

"Stormaggeddon, Dark Lord of All" Mary said

"This is when you run to your parents and get the lamp" Mary quoted as he said it

"Daddy, daddy" Jenny asked sweetly "Can I have a puppy?"

"Get her one Space-man." Donna said

"Awkward?" Rory said when the on-screen Doctor saw him and Amy

"I CANNOT find a fucking bottle of Petrichor ANYWHERE, IT'S DEPRESSING" Mary said pissed

* * *

"Torchwood anyone?" Mary suggested

"No" Jack said

"True, it is pretty wrong" Mary said, shuddering

* * *

Mary was thinking in her room. Her head was hurting, unnatural seeing as she had done an all-nighter heaps of times before. It was thinking about that dream she had when she was 15. In the holidays.

_Mary woke up. In a room. Not alone, the room was quite pretty, rococo style, though pre-Marie Antoinette, it wasn't definitive._

_"Are you alright my dear?" the woman asked. She was blonde, pretty, looking exactly like_

_"Are you Jeanne-Antoinette de Poisson?" Mary asked_

_"Yes. I saw you were unwell, I found you in this room." Reinette said_

Reinette took her to Versailles, and she worked as a courtier. The night Reinette first met the King in person, she was somewhere

" _Reinette? Woah." Mary found the clothes on the floor_

_"Hush. He'll leave. I've known him all my life." Reinette said. Mary comprehended this and her eyes widened. She picked up the sonic from the floor_

_"Shit." Mary said. And she mentally laughed. The man's arm poked form behind the screen, getting dressed. He stepped out._

_"Oh. Hello. I'm the Doctor." He said brightly. Mary didn't believe this. She WAS dreaming wasn't she_

_"I'm Marie-Alexandrine" Mary said, performing a court curtsey._

_"Now. Marie, there is a ball we need to be attending" and they left the room_

Her head hurt even more. It stopped for a bit

_He broke through the mirror and after disposing of the androids. He floated into a corner, not recognising Mary, wearing a mask_

_"How ever will you get back?" Mary mused_

_"I don't know. I will" he said reassuringly._

Mary remembered waking up after comforting a dying Reinette, helping her write her letter. Mary ran down the stairs, looking for the Doctor. River had left and she was only

"Doctor. My head hurts so bad." She said urgently

"Why? Have you had aspirin?"

"It's a dream. I swear it was a dream." Mary said before falling to the floor. "Scan my mind." She said before unconsciousness.

* * *

The Doctor knew Mary was a natural occulumens. He could tell by when he tried scanning her mind while conscious, he would face a giant blank room, unable to access anything else. He scanned her mind, images flicking between events and a single ring. He remembered her as a courtier but then he remembered himself.

_"Sorry about this." Mary said after discussing the future "Obliviate" she said in a secluded corner before running away._

The Doctor saw bits of scenes. Mary practising archery and fencing, noting her talent with combat, quite unnatural. He tried waking her up, slapping her cheeks.

* * *

"What the fuck happened!" she said

"It was you. You had my sonic. You blew up the wine fountain". He said quietly

"It was real. Oh my god. It was real. Oh my god… did that imply you shagged Madame de Pompadour?" she questioned him

"Maybe." He said, head nodding slightly. Mary's eye's twinkled with mischief. "Get your silver jewellery box. The one with the jewellery from your vault." He said. Mary summoned it and showed it to him.

"It's smaller than it should be. He showed her the depth of the inside compared to the outside. The Doctor sonicked it finding an empty space. Mary tapped the bottom of the box with her wand and a compartment was revealed

"It's" Mary started

"Her ring" the Doctor finished. They examined the gold band. It was small, with an exquisite pearl on the top. There were 3 small rubies on each side. The Doctor checked the compartment, finding a hair pin.

"She wore that at Versailles" Mary said "All the time"

"Question is, why do you have her ring.?" Upon that thought. Mary fell to the floor, needing sleep.

"I should go up" she said, yawning. Taking the box with her.

* * *

"If you're going to ask me every day what I'm listening to." She started telling Jack "Then we may as well make it a running joke"

"I was thinking. You're a fan. If each person had to have a song. What would it be?" he asked her

"Okay" she said to everyone in the room "Rose and the Doctor, when they were separated: Talking to the moon. The Master: I can't decide. Rory: I only want to be with you. Jack: Captain jack by Billy Joel. Haha " she said

"You've thought this out, haven't you" Rory said

"Okay. I can't figure out everyone. It's pretty damn hard." She admitted defeat.

"Now" the Doctor got their attention "The Gap will open in a few hours. Once we're there, we can go wherever we want in that universe. We can leave whenever we want." He said "It's a cocktail party, so you know.."

"Chances of you wearing a bowtie… 100% probability" she said, before they all went up to their rooms to get changed. Mary picked out her purple, satin dress, the one with the diamante belt. It's bodice was a tight-fitting singlet before it flowed out at her waist. The bodice was folded so that the top was uneven, it was double sleeved with the sleeves made of floaty chiffon. Her shoes of choice were her black ankle boots that were low heeled, it laced up just below her ankle. Her hair was frustrating her, so she merely parted it to one side and the ends curled slightly. Her purse wwas packed with auror equipment and her quiver, filled with arrows, her folding bow in it too. Mary wasn't taking any chances.

"We had a bet that you would be wearing converse" Jack said, she was the last down, then again, she was packing a bag

"Who gets the dosh then?" Mary asked

"I do" the Doctor replied happily. He was wearing a fez

"Oh, I need to pay you back for that milkshake. Reducto" the hat was reduced to ashes

"I approve" Amy said happily

"Okay, Pete's world 2012, July 12" the Doctor said

"That makes my birthday 2 days from now" Mary noted

"Okay, we have to go to May, 26th 2009" the Doctor read the invitation, before setting coordinates and materialising at the Tyler Mansion.

* * *

"Rose, how do you think the party's going sweetheart?" Jackie asked

"It's fine mum, really, Gabrielle's having fun." Rose said, pointing to her little Daughter, being cooed over by Ianto from Torchwood.

"You better be, he's going spare" she pointed to the Doctor, dressed in his trademark tuxedo and converse

"Mum, he DID organise it. Where's Tony?" Rose asked

"With little Akiko, Tosh and Owen's kid" she said before going to a certain Harriet Jones.

* * *

"Wow. You're alternate self lives HERE, as in HERE?" Rory asked, as they walked up to the mansion

"There's limos and everything" Donna said

"Haha, wishing I could reference Cybermen" Mary said aloud "Wait, doesn't this mean that Donna and Lucinda are Gabrielle's aunties, and doesn't that make Amy and Rory grandparents?" Mary said to the Doctor, before they all burst into laughter

"Excuse me, who are you on the guest list?" the butler asked

"The Doctor with Mary Lozada and co." he said

"Yes, you're on the list." The Doctor exhaled, Mary saw the psychic paper out in case

The party was in full swing, there were several people

"Harriet Jones?" the Doctor, Jack and Sarah-Jane said in unison

"No way. Emma Watson" Mary said

"Harriet Jones" The Doctor said

"Doctor, I'm going with Lucinda and Rory, okay?" Amy said, without waiting for him.

"I'm going to look for other people" Martha and Mickey said

"I think I'll go and talk to Harriet Jones" Sarah-Jane said leaving him also

"Has the world gone mad?" the Doctor said

"Yes, when I purposely tell Jack that Ianto, Owen and Tosh are here and it looks like the latter 2 have kids" she said cheekily

"Yes, we are going to do that" Jenny said, towing away Jack.

"What are you doing this for?" the Doctor asked

"Three doctors and a fan. Get it much?" Mary asked

"Ah, c'mon space man, I have to find my biological meta-crisis twin" Donna said

* * *

Jonathan had taken over for Rose, carrying his daughter, He stopped bouncing when he saw the company of people who had just entered the room. Apart from the people he had invited, such as Steven Moffat and David Morrisey, he was astounded by the man with the bowtie and the girl with Raven hair. That girl looked like Mary, from Torchwood, that scared him. Mary couldn't come, she was sick. If that was the Mary he knew, she would be with her husband and 3 kids, Mary would go straight to him. That wasn't her.

* * *

The Doctor approached him.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor" he said

"And I'm Donna Noble" Donna said

"But.. but… you aren't… What!" he said, still absent-mindedly bouncing his daughter

"Okay. Hi, I'm Mary. Long story short, he regenerated, she remembered, epic coincidence, really weird. He meets me, we travel, fall through this universe and meet your future selves, get invited to now and we pick up a whole lot of people" Mary explained at high-speed

"What!" he said

"I forgot, you used to do that" Donna said "Now shut it, technically speaking I'm your daughter's auntie" she took Gabrielle and started bouncing her. "Aww, isn't she a cute one"

"Where's Rose? I've been wondering?" Jonathan asked

"Oh." Mary spotted her "You have a LOT of catching up to do" she said to him, pulling them away into a corner

* * *

Meanwhile Amy was bouncing Lucinda about. She looked absolutely adorable in her little dress

"Hello. I'm Rose" Rose said nicely to Amy and Rory

"I'm Amy" Amy said in her Scottish accent

"I'm Rory" he said "This is Lucinda" he said

"Aww, isn't she cute." Rose said adoringly "Gabrielle's with Jonathan."

"Is she a daddy's girl?" Amy asked

"Scared to know? Knowing her daddy" Amy and Rose laughed, Rory smirking

* * *

"There you are Ponds" the Doctor said to them

"Williams" Rory corrected

"No, it's Pond" Amy retorted

"Okay, Rose, this is the Doctor. He regenerated. Not as hot as he used to be though." Mary added as an afternote

"Mary, but-you- you couldn't come today, you were sick" Rose said wonderingly

"Wait. I have an alternate self?" Mary asked

"That would explain it." Rose said "Doctor. Nice to see you again. Shorter than I remember" she said

"I like the way I look, Rose Tyler" They hugged for a moment

"How's life?" she asked

"Oh, you know, this and that." He said dismissively

"We sorta ran into your future selves and wel… invited the rest of the guys" Mary said

"Okay, so that means, Mickey, Martha, Donna, Sarah-Jane and these guys" Rose counted off

"Not to Mention Jack and Jenny" Mary said

"Wait, who?" Rose asked

"Long story, we'll explain it later" Amy said as Jonathan floated towards them

"Rose" he pecked her cheek, the Doctor looking away "We should get the cake out" he said

"Can it wait till later? The Doctor's here with the rest of them" Rose said.

"Really, well… I suppose" he said

"Aww, she's absolutely adorable" Amy said in question to the baby Gabrielle in his arms

"So is she" he held a finger to the baby Lucinda

"Wonderful. Cooing session. I'll just pop down and do a few lengths of the pool, shall I?" Mary said quoting

* * *

Ooh, party. If you're reading my story: Babysitting, now would be a good time to connect the dots... ooh, secrets revealed next chapter. OH MY GOD PLEASE REVIEW THIS


	10. The Situation

A/N: Okay, ooh, the situation... sounds scaaaaary. Not. I'm sorry if it gets a little cliche. To all you people watching Australia's Masterchef. I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY ELIMINATED KYLIE. GO AUDRA! now, please review, i will hunt you down and read your story, i'll even review it :)

Same rules appl: No own of DW/HP

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 10: The situation

The Party was going quite swimmingly to be honest. The Doctor kept death-staring Mary to not reference Doctor Who or use her wand all night. It was at about 10:00 when a flash of light came from the garden.

"What!" Mary and Jonathan said in unison as people seemed to be shrinking in their own clothes

"Oh my GOD!" Rose was looking shocked, indeed, everyone was. Jackie, Pete, Tosh, Owen. All of the adults were turning into…

"5-year olds.?" Mary said "That's a little bit undramatic" as every single adult was turned into their 5-year old self

"hang on, what about us?" Martha said as indeed. Donna, Mickey, Mary, Jack, Jenny, Amy, Rory, The Doctor, Jonathan, Rose and she, including the babies were still in their normal forms.

"What if you're under 33?" Donna thought

"Just saying, I'm 34 technically speaking and the Doctor's a 945 year-old Time Lord" Mary said

"through the void?" Rory suggested

"Mum has" Rose added

"This is awkward" Mary said as she looks at a room filled with 5 year olds. The Doctors pulled out their sonic screwdrivers, attempting to get a signal.

"If we get to the TARDIS we can try to trace the signal." The Doctor said.

* * *

"Doctor, we can't leave them here!" Amy said, Rose literally shouting with her

"It's safe" he reassured

"Doctor, last time you left the TARDIS alone with an evil psychopath, it was turned into a paradox machine" Mary reminded him.

"Fine, but where?" he said

"We know." Jonathan said, telling him the coordinates.

"Okay. Get out now" Jonathan said as the TARDIS stopped shaking.

"Okay…" Mary stepped out of the TARDIS "Shit" Mary was looking at herself, except slightly older and with a shorter hair cut

"You had a choice of all the best nannies in the world and you had to pick her alternate self." The Doctor said to Rose and Jonathan

"She does work at Torchwood" Jonathan said

"Cool, my alternate- self works for Torchwood" Mary said amused, but still in deep shock

"Doctor, and Doctor, what the hell are you lot doing here?" the older version asked. But they were interrupted by the sound of feet.

"Mummy, mummy, mummy." A little girl said. The younger Mary stood in shock. The little girl was about Mary's hip-height and absolutely adorable

"Mummy. Why isn't Matt dressing up in his centurion outfit? Otherwise we can't pretend to be Amy, Rory and the Doctor." Another little girl said. She was about her sister's height and younger. True to word, a little boy came down the stairs grudgingly holding the armour in question. Amy nudged Rory to stop him from giggling.

"I have to ask. What did you name them?" the Doctor asked

"My eldest is Hermione Amelia Martha. Then my next is Rose Donna Ginevra and my youngest is Matt David Rory." Rory fist pumped and was nudged by Amy

"Why are you looking so depressed?" the younger Mary asked the Doctors

"They aren't named after us" 11 said

"Are too. Matt Smith plays your eleventh self, David Tennant plays your 10th self." Mary said "As if I'd name my kid Theta-Sigma Doctor"

"I mean, I'm not that cruel" the older Mary said "So, it's only you, Rose, Amy, Rory and Jonathan?" Mary asked

"Nope, rest of the dream team are with us too." Jonathan said popping his p

"Wait, earlier you said something about babysitting. So you want me to mind…" she pointed to the babies

"Yeah." They all said in unison

"Okay. I'm sure the kids'll have a great time minding them with me." Mary said taking the babies with her.

"Wait, I'll stay with them, that way you have someone to help." Sarah-Jane said, coming out of the TARDIS

Mary walked back into the TARDIS with the others and sat on the seat.

"You're in shock" Donna stated

"Yep" she replied simply

"Why?" Martha asked

"I just found out my alternate self works for Torchwood and has 3 kids." She said

"I'd say shock is an understatement" Jack said.

"This coming from the Face of Boe" she teased. Jack was having a panic attack when he found out that he was the Face of Boe. His faced blanched and walked away.

* * *

"I believe they will arrive soon" the woman said

"Yes, no doubt that the Doctor will confront us" the man replied

"The girl will be there " he mused

"Then it shall be easier. A toast my friend" she held her glass of bubbly to the man and they toasted

"May Rassilon bless us" he said, sipping the champagne

* * *

"This is where it took us" Jonathan said as most of the people came back down from getting dressed. Mary was in a black leather jacket with her cable-knit jumper underneath. Her super-skinny jeans tucked into her lace-up military boots. Her backpack was filled with the usual auror items and a few of her replicas.

"Seriously?" the Doctor asked

"I thought it would be fun to wear the 9th Doctor's outfit with the 10th and 11th Doctors present." She smirked

"So, where are we?" Mickey asked

"Looks like an old, abandoned warehouse" Martha said stepping out.

"I'm not a fan of old, abandoned, warehouses" Mary said, shuddering

"It seems that the signal is coming from this way" the Doctor's sonic was out and it was beeping they began to run

"You were right Donna, there IS an awful lot of running to do" Jenny said

"You get used to it" Amy reassured

"That's it. I'm cheating." Mary pulled out her firebolt and rode in a speed so that they could keep up with them

"Got another one?" Jack asked flirtatiously and winked

"Not bloody likely" she snorted.

* * *

Several similar-looking corridors later, they had arrived at a large chasm.

"Who knew that would be in a warehouse" Rory said at the large gap

"It's not made to be like that. The bridge broke" Rose said, pointing to the remains of a bridge

"Okay. Let's see" Mary made planks of wood appear out of nowhere and suspended them mid-air. Mary tried stepping on one, but it would obviously wouldn't take her weight

"Why don't you try repairing the bridge?" the Doctor suggested

"I can't, it's as if it's been reduced to ashes" Mary said "Okay. One way through" Mary took the Doctor's hand and Amy as they were the closest and turned on the spot.

"Woah." Amy was bent double-over

"And you do that to save your life?" he said incredulously

"You get used to it" she said, apparating back and getting Rory, then Mickey and Martha, followed by Rose and Jonathan. Jenny and Jack were last. By the time they were all on the other side, they were all compelled to throw up.

"If we give chase, how are we supposed to run?" Jenny asked

"Well… let me see" Mary tried making a bridge from the left over steel, melting them into the other sides of the path. "That should work, just remind me to blow it up when we run"

* * *

"They approach." The man said

"Yes. Now would be a good time my friend, what do you say to a Dalek?" she asked

"It's every Time Lord's fear" he replied

"But not hers." She said

"We should've monitored all of her adolescence periods" she said scathingly

"Now is not the time for regret" he said placidly, though regretting his actions to

"As long as we do not ruin the monster we made. Otherwise, our doom is inevitable" she said

* * *

"Exterminate" something said

"That was NOT my ringtone. I've downloaded the app, but I'm not using it" Mary said

"Oh no" the Doctor said "No, No, NO, not now" he said

"Okay." Jonathan said

"Daleks. SCARY" Jack said sarcastically

"Oh, they're rainbow coloured now" Mary said brightly to the 10th –era companions. The Dalek turned the corner

"The Doctor will be exterminated. FEAR US!" it said

"Who's fear a retro-salt n' pepper shaker" Mary snorted

"EXTERMINTATE" the Doctor pushed her back, but Mary pushed him to the side, sending a protection spell she let down the wall and sent a spell back at it's eyestalk

"Obscuro" she said

"I was going to suggest a paint gun" the Doctor said

"MY VISION IS IMPAIRED" it span aimlessly around the floor. Mary made a sweeping motion with her arm and the Dalek moved to the side

"Okay, once again into the breach" Jonathan said and they moved forward

* * *

"They defeated it" he said

"Only a bit more." She said happily

"Another toast?" he asked

"No" she spun around on her spinny chair "We'll become intoxicated." She said shortly

"They're here." He said suddenly and he looked at one of the several monitors in the room

"It seems our plan is coming into fruition." She said happily

* * *

The Doctor lead the pack with Mary not too far behind, her wand at the ready. Jack had his gun out and Jenny too.

A hum seemed to be coming from the door, and a glow too. She only had time to look at a computer-chair before blackness.

* * *

"Now. We are ready" he said

"Shit" Jack, Mary and Martha said

"Surprise! It's me!" the Master said "Now, we're"

"We're?" the Doctor said

"Yes. I have another surprise!" he said in his childish manner

"Hello Doctor" a woman said. She was perhaps 30-ish, her brunette hair

"Shit" Mary and the Doctor said

"Doctor's who's she?" Rose asked

"The Rani" the Doctor said

"No WAY!" Mary said delighted

"You're happy about this?" Jack asked

"Yep" she said popping her p

"I'm not surprised you are." She said deadly

"Why would that be?" Mary asked tauntingly. they seemed to be in a see-through tube. They couldn't move.

"You thought those coincidences were just coincidences? You thought that there wasn't a reason for you being transported through time? YOU HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT IT WAS JUST LUCK?" she said

"I bloody DIDN'T!" Mary shouted back. She found herself free from the bonds, wondering why

"Ooh, feisty" the Master said "You broke through the holding capsules"

"Ooh. You're FIGHTING now." Rani said, Mary felt tingles going up her spine

"Leave her ALONE!" the Doctor said.

"I never left her alone. IT WAS ME" she said

"And me" the Master added

"Oh shut up" Rani, the Doctor and Mary said in unison

"Now, remember 2021? And you ended up in 2017, that was us. Remember 2021 as a 15 year-old? That was us. Remember the 18th century? I bought you there for a reason, I needed the ring." She said tauntingly.

* * *

The Doctor stood surprised. Mary barely flinched as Rani spoke. He wondered how she was feeling, so trying as hard as he could, he tried breaking through her mental barriers. Then it clicked. Mary was performing occlumency, that was why she wasn't moving too much. Filled with emotion, they would access her memories. She was buying them time, but pick the wrong emotion to fill her mind, she could die.

* * *

"Well, I don't have it" she said calmly, a bit more and then she would break the barrier.

* * *

2017

_Mary remembered the conversation they had carelessly had with themselves_

_"She's got the chip. She had it as a capsule. When it passes through, she'll be telepathically connected with us when she chooses" the Master said delightedly_

_"Victory, my friend. She'll pick us in the end" Rani said with confidence._

* * *

"You don't?" Rani said in a soft voice, a dangerous voice. Rani tried taking Mary's bag, but found the zipper stuck

"Unfortunately, I can't use isomorphic controls, But, I CAN use protective charms. It's a mokeskin bag, the price is ridiculous really. But the thing is, only the owner can get things in and out" Mary said in a very David Tennant way

"Oh, you thought you could outsmart me?" she said

"No, how am I supposed to outsmart 2 members of the Deca, you were trained by Borusa himself. Ushas" she said Ushas in a very destructive way. Rani fell to the floor

"How-how could you.." she stuttered

"Know? I just do. You didn't pay attention in science, observe your experiment 24/7"

"What did you do!" the Master said angrily

"Power of a name, very ancient power. Humans chose numbers, Carrionites chose words. I'm a witch remember, Carrionites were witches. What do you want more? Koschei…" Mary said his name. the Master fell beside her.

* * *

He got her attention and she nodded back, a tear falling. She was breaking the barrier"

* * *

Mary nodded at the Doctor, a tear couldn't help but fall, she filled her mind with as many happy thoughts possible and the light blinded her.

* * *

He was free. Mary collapsed on the floor, everyone moving towards her.

"She's got a pulse" Rory said. Martha dug in Jonathan's pocket, finding a stethoscope. She listened to her heart beat and breathing.

"She'll live." Martha said. The Doctor put his fingers at her temple, closing his eyes, he entered her mind for once.

* * *

"Mary?" he said worried. Mary sat on the floor, depressed

"My life was a lie" she said

"But it was real. You have to come back" he began urgently "It's the only way you can stop them"

"But it was a LIE. How would you feel if your life was just for destruction" she said

"It was. Time War, remember. Genocide" he reminded

"But to KILL people you had always wanted to be with. I would rather die" she said

"I did too." He reminded her. He pulled her up inside her mind and left.

* * *

His eyes reopened. Mary stirred and sat up

"Where's that bitch" she said

"Woah. I've died heaps of time and I've never said that first off." Jack said. Mary turned and her eyes widened. Rani, on the floor, golden glow. The Master happened to fall beside an overturned table, he was protected from the oncoming blast. Rani wasn't.

"Regeneration. You asked for it" Rani said evilly

"This is why I hate 70's bad guys, they're just so cheesy" Mary said stepping back as Rani regenerated. The golden glow stopped and she came back.

"Ah. Oh, higher register in voice. Never done THAT before" she said. Rani was about the same height and build, her looks however accommodated to suit the 21st century. She pulled out a small mirror from her pocket and examined her looks. "Ooh, a ginger, that's nice" she fluffed out her dark red hair. Ooh, blue eyes, new too. Oh and what's this?" she checked out her figure and winked at the Master

"Yes, my shipping dreams are becoming reality" Mary said quietly to the Doctor

"Rani, naughty" the Master teased back. The Doctor rolled his eyes

"Sexual tension" muttered Jack.

"She isn't doing TOO well for the Ginger Federation" Jonathan muttered to her, Jack and the Doctor, he nodded to Amy and Donna, who looked furious

"Now, where were we. Ah yes. Explanation time." The Master tried replacing the holding cells, but was unable due to the damage Mary mentally caused. The chip was damaged, she was free from their telepathic control. Rani continued:

"You see, we needed a natural occlumens. Someone who was enough of a fangirl that she would eat, live, breathe her obsession." Rani said. Her outfit was modern, compared to her older self ,back in the day, she was in a black dress with heels "You were exactly that. We needed to take you back to 2017 as a child. And, oh, you know how talented I am with science" she said evilly

"I doubt you're as good as the Doctor." Mary said loyally

"Aww, thanks dear" the Doctor said fondly

"Master, tell me, were you really part of a band called : Gallifrey Academy Hot 5? Were you really the drummer?" she asked, the Doctor would then probably scan her mind, she had an idea.

* * *

He could tell when people needed him. He could tell when minds were screaming for attention. He entered her mind to find her

_"Dude, I need to you sort of intimidate them. When I tell you to. I have an idea" Mary said_

_"What is it then?" he asked_

_"I'm going to wind them up enough to give chase , then I'll break the bridge. That'll stop them for now. I need you to help me steal the laser screwdriver off him and switch it with a fake" Mary said_

_"Good, you're not killing them" he said relieved_

_"I SHIP them Doctor, they look cute together" she finished. "Just spread word"_

* * *

"Yes I was, the Doctor was the lead guitarist." He said

"There goes my usual fondness for the lead guitarist" she sighed. He laughed

"Oh don't tell me you fancy him too." He laughed

"Nope. Self- described little sister" she said happily "Though, it is obvious _you_ fancy _her_" she said evilly. Rani winked at him "Rani, has he ever told you about his brief marriage to a human?" Mary said.

"No." she said shocked. Then she turned to him "HOW DARE YOU MARRY AN INFERIOR HUMAN! YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME DIDN'T YOU!" she slapped him

"Ooh" Rose, Martha, Donna, Amy, Rory and Jack said in unison. But her eye caught onto Jonathan

"Wait, you're not human. You're, oh a Meta-Crisis, naughty Doctor. You have a twin brother" she teased

"Rani, leave them alone" Jonathan said

"Ooh, you were hot Doctor. Why'd you go and change your face?" she pouted.

"Rani" Mary in the meanwhile had gone up on Youtube "Have you seen this?" Rani came and looked, the Master too

* * *

The Doctor had a brainwave and he entered her mind

_"Are you showing them the clip?" he asked_

_"Yep. Now get the fudge out"_

* * *

Rani watched the clip from season 3 episode 13.

"OH MY GOD. YOU SNOGGED HER" she said as she watched the Master snog Lucy "Oh, doesn't look too happy. What song is this anyway, I should set it was my ringtone" she said. While they were occupied, the Doctor looked at her, Mary got the hint and she pulled out her modified laser screwdriver. She swapped that with the Master's, which was laying on the table. She came back to see a red Rani. "I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW" she said dangerously

"Now, where were we." She said. Mary put her laptop back in her bag

"Yes. You see, your childhood allergies were merely by-products of my experimentation. I needed to see if you could biologically de-age a person. You are that rare child who was born on a new moon at the time we need. 3:01 precisely. Now we merely took you where you needed." She said dismissively

"That all?" Mary asked

"There is one more thing we need. We need you to die" the Master said as if experiencing a difficulty

"That's just wrong. YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Rose shouted at them. It was the first time she had spoken in a while

* * *

Rose's POV

She was shocked to see how evil they were. Mary had suffered a lot, she had been through heaps and deserved her trust. The Doctors told her psychically, well, all of them, that if she filled her mind with the wrong thought, she could die, and she very nearly did. Mary was worth the fight

* * *

"Oh, who are you, sorry for being quite rude" the Master asked. But May spoke first before Rose could respond

"Ever heard of the Bad Wolf Entity? That's her. She defeated an entire Dalek Army, looked into the heart of the TARDIS and survived. You've met Martha and Jack. But you've never met Donna freaking Noble. She's the other half of the meta-crisis, she's had an alternate universe created around her, twice, she's had her mind erased of all memories to stop her from dying, but she recovered. Amy Pond, the girl who waited, she's one hell of a ginger and SCOTTISH, you don't mess with her. Rory Williams, The Last centurion, the 'Neville Longbottom' of Doctor Who, but actually kick ass and may I add is the Doctor's father-in-law, the universe tried erasing him from history and guess what. I BLEW UP. Mickey Smith, married to Martha, did freelancing, has lived in 2 different universes and saved the universe in a big, yellow truck. And I have only 3 words for Jenny" Mary took a while to count them off, but every word was poison, she was right, names have a very ancient power.

"What would they be oh little miss know-it-all?" he asked

"The. Doctor's. Daughter" she said.

"No. get out, NO WAY!" the Master said "Who's the mum?" he looked at Rose

"I'm a generated anomaly. Hi, I'm Jenny" she said brightly

"You are definitely his daughter" Rani and Master said

"Now. Enough of your rant." Rani cut her off "You, kneel down. You're coming with us" she pulled out a gun. Jack and Jenny did so too

* * *

Jack's POV

She was loyal. That's all he needed to know. The Doctor told everyone that it was part of her plan, but if all failed, this one chick out of millions would die. To be described like that was one heck of a feeling

Jenny's POV

Mary was definitely nice. She made cookies the other day. Jenny realised that if Mary died, her dad would literally want to die too, she knew how many died in his name, and being her father's daughter, she wasn't going to let another one

Martha's POV

Old habits die hard. Her folding gun from free-lancing days was in her pocket. Mary needed help and she was going to get it

Mickey's POV

He described her as TOTALLY AWESOME, well, she was too

Rory's POV

He needed to use that phrase 'The universe tried erasing me and it blew up'. It would probably help him next time Amy made him do the nappy-changing

Amy's POV

Mary was doing okay, that was odd, she knew her nickname, 'The girl who waited', but she was a fan and if she was ready to die for some stupid TV show, then, she, Amy would die for that girl

Donna's POV

Donna Freaking TEMPLE-Noble, it needed correcting. Mary was absolutely right in her descriptions of everyone. Donna was going to kick-ass, gun or not, alien-man would be cut up if Mary died.

* * *

"Don't, put the guns down" Mary said in a convincing voice. However, she faced away from the time lords when she said so, they saw her trademark mischievous twinkle in her eye before turning back around. She knelt down all was at their mercy

"Come with us" Rani said

"The answer is no, I shall not be leaving today and I have no intention of doing so" Mary semi-quoting Mm de Pompadour

"Really?" the Master said he went to the table, taking the laser screwdriver off the desk. Rani pulled her up by the shirt, ignoring the scandalised looks "What do you know of Gallifrey, what do you know to feel the loss we had." She said

"I know this." Mary began her quoting, recognition falling on Martha, Jack and both Doctor's faces "They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. And on the continent of Wild Endeavour, in the mountains of Solace and Solitude, there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. The oldest and most mighty race in the universe. Looking down on the galaxies below, sworn never to interfere, only to watch. Children of Gallifrey were taken from their families at the age of eight, to enter the Academy." Mary said now freestlying on what she knew "Children at 8 were told to stare at the untempered schism, looking at eternity. And that's where they said it started. Some were inspired." Mary said

"Some ran away" The Doctor said

"And some were driven into insanity" Mary finished. Looking at Rani. Rani released her and threw her on the floor. Mary slowly pulled her wand out of her sleeve, getting ready to send a curse. "Tell me has Koshei told you of what he did a few years back? He tried turning earth into the Master race, Rassilon had placed the drum beat into his head to create a link to the present, bringing them out of the time lock, sending a white-point star as a physical link. Now, this and that happened and the Master sacrificed himself for the Doctor, sending Rassilon back to the time lock with the other time lords."

"Is that true?" she asked of him "You let go of that ONE chance to release Gallifrey from the time lock" she said hurt "You deserve to die with her". He stood up, turning the laser screwdriver's settings he held it like a gun at her head, pressing the button, a flash of light came out. But Mary still stood.

"Ouch" she said. "STUPEFY!" she sent several curses at them.

"Allons-y!" Jonathan said

"Come Along" the Doctor said, then he and Mary in unison said : "Geronimo!"

* * *

Mary was one her broom, the moment they all crossed the bridge, Rani and the Master were mid-way, they were all terrified of what could happen.

"Bombarda" Mary broke the Bride, the two Time Lords falling, as a kindness, she sent a cushioning charm at the bottom, that way they didn't die.

* * *

"Are you alright?" they were inside the TARDIS safe, the Doctor hugged her and Mary looked petrified behind his back

"Yeah, gerrof though" she said

"Are you absolutely sure you're alright?" Rose asked

"Nothing a chocolate bar won't fix. But, that was the most scary thing I've ever done" she admitted, pulling out a large box of Honeydukes chocolates. They all dug into them

"What's this one?" Jack asked at a dark chocolate one

"Firewhiskey." The Doctor whispered to her: "Not a good mix"

"I know" she replied

* * *

Doctor's POV

He got Mary to rest for a while, so he picked up the kids with Amy, Rory, Rose and Jonathan.

"Thanks Mary" Amy said

"It's okay" she was interrupted from further speech by Hermione coming down in an over tweed coat and a fez

"I'll save you, Pond" she said, her sonic out

"Doctor" the little Rose said

"Amy, what about Melody?" Matt asked

"Aww, cute" Amy said

"Yes, we should get this on tape and torture her" the Doctor said.

"Hello Doctor" the little kids said in unison

"Hello, can you do this for me?" he whispered instructions, seeing them laugh

"Sarah-Jane, how was it?" Rose asked, she came back holding Gabby

"They were fine, believe me" Sarah-Jane said, the 5 entered the TARDIS, leaving the Doctor to film

* * *

Yes, the Doctor would film that :)

Okay, ooh, you probably didn't expect that. Rani's back, yehey :)

Please review or i will go on a one-month strike


	11. Of Slammers and Birthdays

A/N: The title says it all... ooh. Yes, my birthday was on the 14/7, so this is based on 'if-the-doctor-took-me-in-the-tardis-and-let-me-go-wherever-i-wanted-and-it-happened-to-be-my-birthday' Of course, i'd have bottle of Odgen's old Firewhiskey up my sleeve :P

No own :(

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 11: Of Slammers and Birthdays

"Is that banana-choc muffins with cream-cheese frosting and silver ball bearings?" Jonathan asked as Mar walked into the console with the freshly-baked goodies. The babies were in bouncers and everyone seemed quite happy

"Yep. Got bored and decided to raid the kitchen" she said "How have you got NO Bombay mix, I was going to have a little challenge later." She said sadly

"What challenge, sweetie?" River was there, she joined the day after the 'little situation' as Mary called it

"Drinking contest with Firewhiskey" Mary said placidly "I wanted to see who would join" she said

"Me" Jack, River, Amy, Donna and the Doctor all said in unison

"Okay, 12:00 pm relative time. This'll be hilarious" she said happily

* * *

Mary came down in her TARDIS t-shirt, TARDIS pants and her Hogwarts dressing down, her hair all out.

"Woah, and I thought I would be first" she said as everyone was ready

"Got the poison" Mary pulled out a bottle, with intention of using a refilling charm "Got the shot glasses. Got the salt" It was a slammer-type contest "Got the Bombay mix." Mary had forced the Doctor to take her to the little Market planet where there was a market for literally every culture, Mary had bought a lot of furniture from the French stalls to take home. They sold the best-ever Bombay mix and she had to buy it.

"Okay" the bottle magically emptied as the liquid was poured into the glasses, seemingly from under the table. I truth it was a liquid-transferal charm "3-2-1- SHOT" they put on a bit of salt, licking it they took a shot. This continued for at least another 20 before the Doctor fell unconscious.

"Ow. Wait, no" Mary took out a permanent marker and drew a moustache with glasses. Amy was next after 21 shots.

"Sorry Rory" Martha apologised

"It's fine, she's been worse" he replied

"Okay, that's 30 shots as Donna, Jack and River were still left in the completion. Mary and the others were all pigging out on what was the BEST FREAKING EVER Bombay mix

"55 and you're out Donna" Donna slumped in her seat. It was all-out war between Jack and River

"As her father, I totally disapprove" Rory said in regards to River

"As his daughter" Jenny nodded at the Doctor "_I_ am frankly embarrassed."

"99 and oh. They're both out. Ruin it for me why don't you" Mary said scathingly

"Who do you think is more drunk?" Rose asked

"One way to find out. Jenny, who does Jack fancy, you know, a male?" Mickey asked

"Tom Cruise" she said

"Okay. OH MY GOD IT'S TOM EFFING CRUISE!" Mary screamed. They both fell out of the stupor

"Hello Darling" River said to an imaginary man "I'm River, we met at that party where we all got drunk"

"Hello, I'm Captain –hic- Hark-hic-ness" he said at the same time. They both fell to the floor.

"That was funny" Jenny said

"WE should mover them in case they do anything inappropriate" Mary said, Rose nodding with Rory River was moved to the console and Jack was left in his room. Donna and Amy left in their own rooms.

"Rule 202, never let the designated driver get drunk" Rose said "I can see why" a bit of her tongue poking out

* * *

"Mary, what do you want to do? It's your birthday" the Doctor said, he seemed to have recovered from the contest

"I dunno, there's heaps of things I could do with a time machine. You know, visit all Harry Potter premiers, watch Much Ado About Nothing, meet Tom Felton. Oh, visit Heston Blumenthal. But I honestly don't know." Mary said, ticking off on her fingers

"Okay, sorry, what's this Much Ado About Nothing" he dismissed, then was intrigued

"If you put Catherine Tate, David Tennant and Much Ado About Nothing in the one sentence, what do you get?"

"Ah" the Doctor said "But, I do have a small surprise for you, come along" he walked out of the TARDIS, Mary following him. At the sight of who was there, she squealed and hugged Rose, Scorpius and Albus

"How was all of time and Space?" Rose asked, hugging her, Al kissing her next.

"Fun, deadly, fun" Mary said, hugging Scorpius

"Happy Birthday, okay" Scorpius said giving her a large box, filled with the presents they got her.

"Aw, thanks, you really didn't have to" she said

"I'll, just go and…" the Doctor pointed to the TARDIS

"You're trying to ditch me, aren't you?" she joked

* * *

No one knew when his birthday was. If they did, Mary would probably poison the cake.

* * *

"You'll like what we got you, okay?" Rose said

"Take care of yourself, for all you know, you could be targeted" Mary said seriously

"We will, don't worry" Albus said gently. They kissed for a last time before Mary left to go back into the TARDIS.

"What'ya get?" Rose Tyler asked

"I dunno, I need to check." Mary slowly opened her purple box.

"What the…" the Doctor said as Mary opened it

"Huzzah, season 2 and 3 of Torchwood" Mary said. Jack took it off her, reading the blurb on the back.

"Okay. Oh, that's cool" Rose had gotten her a few clothes and she placed the dress, jumper and shirt back into the box.

"No way, thanks Scorp" Mary pulled out a box, inside was a silver and gold fob watch, the top engraved to look like a chameleon arch. A few more of her friends had sent her presents. Alice Longbottom had given her a box of Honeydukes chocolates. James, Lily, Fred and Roxanne had all bought her bags worth of Weasley Wizard Wheezes merchandise. Kylie was a good friend of hers since they both became prefects, but in their respective houses: Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Kylie had sent her a bottle of Madame Rosmerta's oak-matured mead.

"You're obviously not a loner" Martha mused

"Not anymore" Mary replied

"Oak matured mead. I'd like to see you skull that" Donna said, reading the label

"Tastes sorta like Butterbeer, but it's thicker, smoother, clearer and it's got a hint of cinnamon" Mary said

"Ever been to a wine tasting?" Jack asked, impressed

"Yep, try going with the Doctor, it's HELL" she said

"What's this about me and wine tastings?" the Doctor asked, his voice coming from below.

"Oh, that's disturbing" Amy said as the Doctor looked up. Amy and Mary were both wearing skirts, though Mary had tights on

"Oh, put some trousers on Pond if you're so worried" the Doctor said scathingly

"I will" Amy said in a very 'that's final' way, flouncing up the stairs

"I think she's still intoxicated" Rory said to a room filled with silent giggles.

* * *

"Wait, there's more" the Doctor said, coming from the stairs underneath, he turned up with a pile of presents

"NO WAY!" Mary said, she had honestly thought they wouldn't get her anything

"Yes way" Jonathan said.

"Okay. This is from… Donna" Mary opened the box and found a DVD set of the Catherine Tate show "Jonathan, Rose and Gabrielle" Mary ripped the wrapping off a TARDIS phone box. Inside was a phone connected to the inside of it. "That is pretty damn awesome. Okay, Mickey and Martha. Ha-ha, cool" Mary opened it finding another brown trench coat. "Amy, Rory, Lucie" Mary opened the box finding a bottle of Petrichor. "And Sarah-Jane. YES SARAH-JANE ADVENTURES SEASON 1!" Mary exclaimed as she ripped off more wrapping paper.

"Nice to know you enjoy yourself. Now, how to get rid of the mess" the Doctor said, Mary just smirked, and said

"Evanesco" all the paper disappeared.

* * *

"Okay, here we are. The Theatre, 2010. Much Ado about Nothing" the Doctor said in the auditorium, waiting to enter the actual stage

"Nice one, get past the ticket people with the TARDIS" Mickey said appreciatively

"Well… it does have the capability of traveling anywhere through time and space" Jonathan said

"Okay, I am SO getting my poster signed" Mary had just come back from the shop and was already extremely excited. She was 22 and hadn't been abducted by evil Time Lords.

"I hope this is good. I'm not very bovvered with Shakespeare" Donna said. Mary gagging at the 'bovvered'

"What about Agatha Christie?" Rose asked

"Yes, murder on the Orient Express" she said awed

"And Everyone done it" Mary, Rose, Donna and Rory said at the same time

They entered the Theatre and Mary had to put a silencing charm on herself for the first 15 minutes to stop herself from squealing at David Tennant.

* * *

"That was AWESOME" Mary sang 'awesome', coming back from getting her poster signed

"I bet your in shock" Jack smirked

"I just met 2 of my favourite actors, what do you think?" she said sarcastically

"I'd say shock is an understatement" he said as they all re-entered the TARDIS

"Where to now?" Mary asked

"Dinner at the Fat Duck" the Doctor said. At the words Fat Duck, Mary started squealing

"Don't tell me you two are foodies" Rory pointed to them two, as he joined in, in her jumping up and down

"Yep" they both said

"And you eat fish custard" Amy said

"We both do" they said in unison

"Oh, I shudder to think what that would be like" Sarah-Jane said, indeed shuddering

* * *

"THAT WAS SO EFFING AWESOME" Mary said

"Did you have the bacon and chocolate ice cream?" Donna asked

"Yes" replied nearly everyone

"That was bloody delicious. What about the snails, anyone have those?"

"I did" everyone stared at Mary, who was the only one "It was nice" she said in defence

"Oh, that is the one thing I will never eat in this universe, a snail." The Doctor said darkly

"Why? Is there a planet with terrifying monster-snails. Or are you just scared of snails?" she asked sceptically

"He's scared of snails" Jonathan said to her, and Mary laughed.

"It ruined my best coat, what do you think then!" he emphasised the word coat, but she laughed harder

"You really surprise me" Amy laughed

* * *

It was about 11:00, she had been asleep for only a couple of minutes when the light was thrown on

"Mary. Wake up" he said urgently. But his hands went up in a surrender position as Mary was suddenly alert, he wand whipped out, but she relaxed after seeing who it was

"Why'd you do that for?" she yawned

"Shush. It's a little trip" he said "Get dressed" he said, looking at her in her Doctor Who pyjamas. Mary trudged to her wardrobe and put on the dress Rose got her and her cable-knit jumper a pair of white tights and her lace-up boots. She was perpetually running her brush through her hair, while coming down

"We're going every single Harry Potter premiere, then we're going to see Heston Blumethal and take a private cooking lesson. Maybe a run in with the 70's for ABBA" he said

"Awesome" Mary grinned evilly

"But we need to keep them out" he said

"Lock coordinate from here and 2010, lock it from the outside. Isomorphic controls?" Mary suggested

"Hm, that could work, but what about other self

"Your eyes?" Mary implied those eye-scanner things

"Okay, setting coordinates, 2001, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" he started manically controlling the TARDIS, Mary helping here and there, figuring out the buttons.

"Now, all of it awaits" Mary said, they pushed the doors open and started squealing

* * *

During Deathly Hallows Part 2 Premiere

"Where are they?" Amy said, going through all the rooms.

"Woah." Rory said, as he woke up, Lucinda in hand, walking down into the console. He was followed by pretty much everyone else. As he stopped, a projection of Mary and the Doctor appeared

"No, we're not dead. Chill" Mary said

"We've gone out for a bit. You can't enter, leave or travel with the TARDIS" he said

"It's locked from the outside, furthermore, it only opens with a tap of a WAND." Mary elaborated "And no wrong minded-implications Jack. You disturbing child" Mary added, to what would've probably been an interjection. The projection ended and they were left in the console.

* * *

Minutes later…

"Where the hell were you?" Jack asked

"Okay, all 8 Harry Potter premieres, a cooking lesson with Heston Blumenthal, an ABBA concert, a MIKA concert, a Scissor Sisters concert and a Dusty Springfield concert." Mary said, counting them off on her fingers

"Oh" Jack said shortly

"Not to mention a few comic-cons in Sandiego, Eurovison 2009, 2010, 2011, 2011, Every Starkid production and yeah, that's about it" Mary added to his dropped jawline.

* * *

A couple of days later

"Jack, before you ask what I'm listening to, may I just tell Rose" Rose looked up "Listen VERY WELL to the lyrics." Mary said

"Okay, what are you listening to?" Jack asked

"Billie Piper" Mary replied

"Isn't she that chick from Secret Diary of a Call Girl?" he asked

"Yep. Okay" Mary unplugged her earphones, mouthing the lyrics to 'Day and Night'. When the song ended, the Doctor, Jonathan and Rose sat/stood/slouched there with their mouths open

"Implications of being trapped in an alternate universe" Mary said. The Doctor promptly snatched her i-pod touch out of her hands and flicked through her playlist.

"You listen to MIKA?" he asked incredulously

"Yes I listen to MIKA, problem" she replied. They were always like this, Jack suggested sexual tension, Mary replied with a threat of hexing him with several nasty ones.

"Okay, scissor sisters, Starkid, woah, whole lot of Starkid, did you go along and download all their musicals?" he asked

"Yes, now, go along and keep flicking through it" she said

"ABBA, Dusty Springfield, what sort of music are you LISTENING to?" he asked still flicking down

"Enough to know that it's definitely not to your taste." She said, taking back her i-pod and pulling out her toy K-9. It was remote controllable and she felt like driving it around

"Oh, isn't that cute" Sarah-Jane said

"It so is" Mary said back, as the K-9 said some little phrases

"Greetings Mistress" it said and they both squealed with delight

"It's a tin dog" Rory said

"It's the ULTIMATE tin dog" the Doctor said

"K-9 nearly got his own spin-off, but it was cancelled in the 90's, it's got the single un-aired pilot" Mary said

* * *

Boredom Later

"Are you seriously not going to let us out of the TARDIS?" Amy asked

"Yes Pond, that is the general idea" he said

"Why though?" Jenny asked

"Cue Jenny begging him for our greater benefit" Mary said

"Dad, can we go somewhere, please, please, please?" she begged

"Where to?" he asked "The Moulin Rouge, the Medusa Cascade, Raxacoricofallapatorius?" he counted off

"I was going to say set it on random" Jenny said innocently

"Oh, you are brilliant" Jonathan said

"Okay, setting to random. Note, not a nude planet." The Doctor said

* * *

Ooh, guess what happens next :)

Now, please review. I probably won't update for a bit as the next few chapters could be considered '2/3/4/5/10000000 parters'

Now, little contest, do you ship Mary and the Doctor? in 25 words or less, review this, tell me and the best answer will turn up as a character later on.. ooh...

Oh, BTW, like my new cover?


	12. The Musical aka Not a nude Planet

A/N: Sorry if it's a cheap version of Mama Mia. I saw it when i was 3... :) Well, I've nearly finished the 1st act. LOL, i'm a HUGE starkid. Okay, beware my 'shipping' for this musical. I would never ship myself with the Doctor... HE'S A FREAKING 945 YEAR OLD TIMELORD. AWKWARD AGE GAP MUCH

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 12: Doctor Who: the Musical… aka, not a nude planet

The Doctor, Jonathan, Jack, Jenny, Rose, Donna, Martha, Mickey, Amy, Rory, Sarah-Jane and Mary were all ready to get out of the TARDIS from their randomly picked coordinates.

"We are. Oh no" the Doctor, initially enthusiastic came to a full stand-still

"Not good" Jonathan said

"What in the name of Merlin's saggiest left, is not good?" Mary asked. Jonathan ran into the console, but after a struggle, ran back out

"We can't move, the coordinates are stuck." Jonathan said

"Oi, you two. You either tell us where we are, or I'll get it out of you myself" the rage of Donna Noble was terrible to behold

"We're on the planet " he made a nasal sound "Otherwise known as the Planet of Musicals"

"Musicals, as in Broadway, Sullivan and Gilbert, Starkid musicals" Mary asked

"Yep. We have to win the competition to get out, because, it seems, we've been chosen" the Doctor said

"Shit" Mary said

"I'm going to need a drink" Jack said

* * *

"Well Miranda, who's next" the gay man with the pin board asked

" Well, word has it that the last ever TARDIS has just entered our planet" she said "Darling Josh, of course I'll choose them." She said, shuffling through their cards

"Well, I think their theme should be…. The Wedding." Miranda pulled out an electronic, clear card and tossed it in the air, it disappeared.

* * *

"What the hell?" Martha asked at the card that appeared in their TARDIS. They found themselves transported to a HUGE studio.

"Well, this is awkward." Jenny said.

"Doctor, what is it?" Rose asked

"That, I believe, is what we have to perform. It's the theme" Jonathan said

"We have to do… a wedding" he said

"Well… casting?" Mary asked

"Draw it out of a hat" Jack suggested. Mary conjured a fez and wrote names on pieces of parchment. She conjured a UNIT beret and placed roles in the hat.

"Okay. Lead Male goes to…" Jack pulled out "The Doctor. Damn you." He added

"Supporting male" Mary drew out of the beret. "Goes to Jack" pulling the name out of the fez

"Lead, goes to Mary" Jack pulled out. Mary hit her head on the table. She hadn't had a lead role since high school… 10 years ago, nearly

"Supporting female goes to: Donna" Mary was relieved, Donna, if she was anything like Catherine Tate, was a brilliant actress

"That leaves, the crew bits" Mary poured a few pieces of paper into the beret and continued pulling names out

"Set designer goes to Jenny" Jack said "Okay, we'll survive, Jenny's good at that" he said happily

"Production/Director goes to Rose" Mary said

"Costuming goes to Martha" Mary said

"And catering goes to Sue from catering. Just kidding" Mary said to their 'what the fuck' faces "Mickey. I don't want anything pickled. I want a platter with Hungarian cheeses and spicy Hungarian salami" Mary said Jokingly.

"That means everyone else is in the chorus?" Amy asked

"Yep. Doctor, what in the name of Rassilon are you doing?" Mary asked, he was tuning into something.

"Contacting River." He said "She'll be here… now".

"Sweetie, what are you talking about?" she asked, her Hair everywhere, she was probably asleep

"We're trapped on" he made that nasal sound again

"Ah" she said "Well, what do I do?"

"River, can you monitor the game makers? It'll help to see who we're up against" Jonathan said

"Okay sweetie. I don't want to have an acting part" River winked and walked away, in search of the Party. Little did the Doctor know that Mary saw her swipe his psychic paper, though he did trace it's path with his eye.

* * *

"Okay, we should figure out a plot line" Mary said, writing on the TARDIS whiteboard

"The theme's wedding" Rory said. Mary wrote a giant WEDDING sign on the board

"Well, you associate stag parties with that" Mickey said and

"Okay" Mary wrote that on the board

"Well, if we say it's, the week… before, stag party, jealousy?" Amy said

"Okay, I have an idea, but it's going to be slightly cliché. What if, how the hell did I get lead!" Mary asked to no one in particular. "Okay, well, if the lead, oh my god is going to marry his character" Mary looked pissed at the Doctor.

"Okay, Donna's the best friend. Jack's the gay best friend" Amy said

"Donna fancies the Doctor, and it shows up at the Stag Party?" Jenny suggested. Mary was writing notes on the board, nodding

"And it's sort of a cheap version of Mama Mia" Mary said. "Okay. I think I've got a plot line coming. We're going to need a whole lot of wedding dresses."

* * *

River's POV

The Doctor had given her the psychic, it was her job to get into the judging panel. Even if it meant using her Hallucenogenic.

"Hello, I'm professor River Song. I teach at the Intergalactic Academy of Drama" River flashed the 'card' and they bought it

"Oh, River, Daarling" Josh kissed both her cheeks, Miranda following suit

"We just happened to need someone like you" Miranda said "Our other third, Simon Cowell, is stuck at that shit X-factor in Yoo-Kay" she said Yoo-Kay like a question as she wasn't sure how to pronounce it

"Ah, that little softie" River said fondly, she had met him once with the Doctor "He'll be there for a little while longer"

"Well, what do you think of our contestants?" Josh asked, showing very Broadway-style audition photos.

"We've got this murder theme, being performed by a couple of Raxacoricofallapatorius." Josh showed their 'disguises'

"Then these Carrionites. We've bound their powers, they can't use charms, powers or anything" Miranda said, throwing back her dull, brown hair, it was curled into an odd style.

"And, we've got high hopes for the team TARDIS" River gasped as she looked at a video of Mary as a teenager (for the first time), she was acting as an evil psychopath, dressed in a 'girly' blue dress and outfit, but with such an evil song, 'I can't decide' to a poor, bound up person

"Good Juxtaposition, she'll go far" River said impressed

"Well. Welcome to the team" Josh brought up 3 champagne glasses and they toasted.

* * *

Production, Day 1.

"Okay. Act 1, scene 1. Mary, Donna, Jack, preparing for Wedding." Rose said, her new UNIT beret perched on her head. Mary had let her keep it. Mary was a chick called Alex, Donna a person called Anna and Jack a guy called Josh.

They all started dancing to the song White Wedding, Jack singing a lot of the lyrics, Mary chipping in for the harmony, they were dancing around the shop, playing around by putting veils on jack, pulling a garter of Mary's leg for practise. They ended the dance and got serious

"What about this one?" Jack (well josh) pulled out a wedding dress, Mary had duplicated several dresses, then modified them with magic

"No, it has to pop" Donna was sitting on a pouf with her hand crossed "Alexandra, this one" Donna pulled out another dress

"Nope, she isn't as curvy as you" Jack winked at Anna, who blushed

"Okay…." Mary said "Well…" Mary 'thumbed' through dresses, she pulled a curious expression and pulled out another one

"Yes" Jack and Donna said

"Oh my GOD. Am I late?" Amy asked "I had to pick up Sarah" that was Sarah-Jane, Alex's adoptive mother

"Mum, glad you could make it" Mary hugged Sarah-Jane

"Couldn't miss my daughter's dress-picking can i?" she asked

River was rolling the camera. It was to filmed, not performed with live audience, she was in charge of this team. She had cheated her way into coaching them, using the psychic paper.

"I think, you've just found the dress" Amy said (playing Andrea), looking at it.

"You have to try that on" Jack said, they moved into a corridor on the stage for the 'dressing' chamber. The racks of dresses were turned around to reveal a rack of suits, the people who left were replaced with the Doctor, Jonathan and Rory.

"Well… if you really feel like wearing that suit" Jonathan said, his brainy specs on. He was playing the best man and over all comic relief with Jack; David"

"Nope, not that Dave" Rory said, they kept with his name, Rory was a damn cool name.

"This one" Rory suggested "Matt… she likes purple" he said encouragingly

"Not an entire purple suit" he said indignantly

"This one?" Jonathan asked, pointing to a tail coat

"It's not my sort of cut" he said

They were squabbling over ridiculous suits, then after a rejection of a 'Sexy-and-i-know-it' speedo, they flipped the racks back around and the entourage of women came back, devoid of Mary

"Okay, come out" Donna said excitedly.

"Well…" Mary was good at acting, her anxious was very convincing, or at least, she hoped

"Yes." No one could see Mary from the camera, it was deliberate was the dress would be a surprise until the wedding.

"Well… Anna, you're chipping in for the dress" Amy said "Duties of the maid-of-honour"

* * *

A/N: well... what do you think about the musical? if no one reviews, i will refuse to post act 2 when i get to it


	13. Act 1

A/N: yo, what up homies :P Jks, as if i'd talk gangsta. No, i am capable of speaking in Tagalog, English, a leetle bit of French and Japanese, Geek, Whovian, Potterhead and Chav :)

I've never been to a hens night. What do you expect, I'm a teen. WTF i made a parody of Call me Maybe, it's deliberately shorter. Try to make up a tune to my original song: In the Shadows, its a mish mash to this Filo song called: Sa isaang Pangarap, i give my hand you you and perhaps One of us by ABBA. There will be a LOT of ABBA songs later on (well...2). Please, *jokingly* DONWLOAD MY SONG OFF I TUNES. JOKESSSSS

Disclaimers: i woah... long list, do not own DW/HP. Mamma Mia, ABBA, Starkid, Carly-Rae Jespen, White Wedding, Blackpool (yes, it's important for later on... just go with it), Any whiteboard companies or bars.

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 13: Act 1

Act 1 scene 2: Wedding preparations

"Okay guys. We should plan this out" Another familiar situation with Mary writing on the whiteboard. They needed to figure out a way to play the next day of wedding preparations.

"Well, we're leaving the stag party as the middle of the weeks. It'll close act 1 and open act 2" Mary said. She took elective drama, lucky enough to have her favourite drama teacher, Mr T as their class called him, better yet he was Doctor Who/ Harry Potter obsessed. He was a visionaire, literally…

"Okay, if we're going through the stress of taking care of everything" Amy said, she'd planned a wedding before

"Yep. It'll be an original song. Or better yet, let's parody one" Mickey suggested

"Well… there's this song Skye keeps singing. It's call me maybe" Sarah-Jane said

"Yes. Okay, we're going to need lyrics" the team, dubbed TEAM TARDIS, like TEAM STARKID

"Okay, who here's a musical genius" the Doctor looked up expectantly, but Mary death-stared him back

"Well… What about Rose? Billie Piper IS a singer" Mary thought

"Hmm… Rose, what did you get for Music?" Martha asked

"Pretty good." She said

"Okay, Rose Tyler, in charge of music. That should work" Mickey said

* * *

Several hours later

"Okay, got the lyrics" Rose said, Mary read through them.

"Wow, that's labour intensive" the Doctor said

"Well, the choreography will probably be pretty easy" Mary said

"Pretty easy for you is like… like… Mericks Theorem" Jack said

"Jack, shut up. I like dancing" Jenny said

"I dearly hope that wasn't a wrong minded-implication" Mary muttered, The Doctor, Rose and Jonathan laughing

"What?" Jack asked

"You won't get it" Jonathan said laughing

* * *

Practise time

"Okay, chassé, chassé, walk, walk, walk." Mary said demonstrating until everyone had it

"Wait, what foot first.?" Jack asked

"Left for the Doctor's side. Right for my side" Mary said

"Then we swap?" Jack asked again

"Yep. Now, to the music" Mary had gotten them through ¾ of the song

"Now, final chorus. We've got to do out little 'tricks' section. Now, pirouette, flip, splits, I dunno, whatever the hell you want for the next few counts. But to make it balanced, we need to move into little groups." Mary said, organising groups.

"Now, time it. One and Two and 3 and a 4" Mary pointed at groups, for their cues. Literally done, they filmed the next scene

* * *

_"I got the guest list all done, I've sent the cards to everyone, I've Ordered pizza but, There's no more olives left"_ the Doctor said

"_I've had the dress bought, Got Josh into this one, got Anna to wear heels, but I swear there's something I've forgotten _Mary said into the bridge

_"And bought the flowers. Made the motifs. I've Thought of chocolate. Would you like Cadbury?" Donna flounced in_

_"It's hard to look for, extra ribbons, but I've bought out Harrods, I think it's pricy" Amy walked in too with a basket of ribbons_

_"Hey, do I look right. In this dreeesss. But fact remains, I'm sorta a guy" Jack sang as he walked in, wearing a purple dress_

_"And all the other boys, can't order suits, why can't we just, by it from Target" Jonathan walked in_

Mary started on the next chorus, this brought in the dance troupe, by the look on River's face, it looked good

"_I don't want this to look cheap. I want this to look so real. I really don't give a shit, if you don't fit in that dress. " Mary sang. Then starting the next bridge "Josh to be honest, you should use a diet, If you gain just more weight. Remind just to murder you baby" Mary sang_

_"Hey, I just met him. Why are we fiiighting. I'd sort of hate it, if he'd get murdered" Jonathan said_

_"And, for us who are females, the dress is AWESOME. Remind us just to, take more of these chocolates." Amy, in truth, took another chocolate_

_"Hey, this Bombay mix, is pretty awesome, remind us to serve that, with beer and pine nuts" Mickey added_

_"It's hard to look for, this freaking miiiix. But remind us to use, the toilet later." Matt looked at Mickey, then looked expectantly_

_"Before you came in my life, I was such a loner" Matt looked lovingly at Mary, but she was inwardly disturbed_

_"I was a potterhead"_

_"Such a potter, potterhead" they sang in unison_

_"Before you came into my life, I needed mental treatment, I was such a fangirl, I tackled Felton over, over" Mary sang_

_"Before you came into our lives, we actually had a life, and now we have to watch freaking Torchwood" the rest sang_

_"So plan this wedding?" they all sang. Ending in their poses. During the song, they had gotten ribbons and everything everywhere, making it look like a mess, ending with Mary dipped into his arms. Rose gave a thumbs up from the camera and it was a black out. Mary muttered a spell and the mess was back into it's baskets._

"Like I said. Josh, if you don't fit, I don't give a fuck. DIET" Mary said, ticking things off the list

"Menu planning" the Doctor said

"Okay, we'll take everything except that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that" Mary pointed at them all.

"You could've just pointed to those" He said

"Then don't marry me" Mary said cheekily, though her inner thoughts were betraying her

"Not likely" he retorted. They faked a kiss and the scene moved to the best man and Maid of honour planning their stag party/ hen's night.

* * *

"Anna. What do you think of this poison" Jonathan and Donna were in a 'liquor' store

"If you're going to ask me about them all, just take one of all the good-looking ones" Donna said

"What do girls like? Champagne?" He asked "Tequila?" he asked

"Take a few Bailey's and make a cocktail. It works." Donna posed with the bottle. That was sure to get a few laughs.

"But, what if we get drunk?" Jonathan was supposed to be Naïve. So unlike him

"There's a 99% chance that will happen" Donna said exasperated

"But, how do you know that?" he asked

"I've been to stag parties before. Well, hen's night. Now come on, we need to organise your pole dancer" she said as if this was normal

"A POLE DANCER!" he asked incredulously

"It's a surprise and plus Josh qualifies as Male, he'll be his distraction from more kinky activities." Donna said, pulling him out the door.

END OF SCENE 2

* * *

"Cut. Good, we got that" Rose said

"Dad, why do you two look cute together?" Jenny asked, gesturing between Mary and the Doctor

"What!" they both asked in unison

"Don't worry" River said laughing, well they did look cute together.

Mary's head was going into overdrive. It was only really onstage. Hopefully

"I meant on stage" Jenny laughed. Mary and the Doctor exhaled

"She's a good actress. You haven't told them have you?" River said. Mary processed this and decided to come clean.

"I took elective Drama in years 9-12. I took it in my HSC and I passed with a band 6. I was waiting for a scholarship acceptation at this Drama Academy in the UK. " Mary said "It would mean I had a damn good chance in being in Doctor Who"

"That would explain it" Rose said "You are really good" she said

"Not really" Mary said in modesty. She really DID think she wasn't that good.

* * *

"Well done guys" River said. "I've sent a small preview of the first couple of acts and they L.O.V.E it LOVE IT" she said enthusiastically

"Okay, Act 1 scene 3. We need to do some linking shit." Mary said, writing on the board

"Well, what about some random shopping" Amy said

"Baby talk" Jack said suggestively. Mary just conjured a gag and gagged him.

"Okay. Not the pregnancy talk. I don't think I want to go through that process with you grossing me out" Mary said

"Why, what've you done in drama?" Jack asked

"Dressed as the Doctor, played a psychopath girly-girl, played a witch, been a mime, played a parody of Catherine Tate" Mary said "I don't think I want to add another to that list" Mary said. Jack seemed to be high at the moment. Martha, Mickey and Sarah-Jane were all in the kitchen, so they wouldn't be able to tame him for the time being.

"Well" Donna had planned 3 weddings. One to that bloke when she met the Doctor. Her one to Shaun and one in a cyber-world within a computer "There's more fittings to do. Bridesmaid dresses, shoes, motifs, oh, bickering over the most ridiculously tiny things" Donna said

"Oh, I have an idea. There's always the monster-in laws." Mary said. Writing on the board "Who else hasn't got a 'major role' " Mary asked, she eyed the people in the room

"Okay, the parents would meet the best man/ maid of honour" Rose said

"No, I need Donna to play one of the in laws. She's good at that. I'll just cut her out of that bit" Mary said "We can't use Jack. I need someone who'd be good at this. Stuff that. Doctor, you don't have a dad." Mary said descisively

"What?" He asked

"I'm trying to figure out how it works. I've got Sarah-Jane with my side. You get Donna. It works because that way the two characters have more things in common and, Yes, I am trying to reference Rose Tyler" Mary said. Rose looked said for a fleeting moment

"Do you always reference in everything you do?" Jonathan asked

"Yep." Popping her p "Just did right now"

"So ." Amy interjected in what was becoming an awkward moment "What are they going to fight over?"

"The dress is the main thing. Dunno what that's like, never been married." Mary said thoughtfully "Then there's things like the Bonbonniere, the flower choice. Donna'll come to the Bridesmaids getting fitted and probably complain that Jack should be in a dress" Mary jotted down more notes. Rose took these ideas and made a very sketchy script. The whole thing was half improv. And half script. If they ever forgot, they had to adapt to the situation and just wing it. Something any companion of the Doctor was good at anyway.

* * *

Act 1 scene 3

"Shit. Shit. Shit" Mary said as she ran to the Doctor

"Why, what is it?" He asked worriedly, grasping on her shoulders

"Your _dear_" Mary put pressure on the dear "Mother is here" she said

"But, I thought mum was coming later on. I thought she was on holidays with dad?" he asked worriedly. She had the mad urge to ask him if he ever did any acting in his time *

"She's decided that she doesn't want to tan. Secret code for 'I want to plan your wedding and I don't give a shit about your mother'" Mary exaggerated her whole 'I want to' bit, using air quotation marks with her fingers

"Here she is now" he said grimly. His mother had an inconvenient characteristic; she wanted everything to go her way

"DAAAARRRRRLLLLIIIIINNNNNGGGG" she said in a very flouncing way, throwing the door open. Mary, was facing the audience, back turned, rolling her eyes

"Mum" the Doctor said in a less than enthusiastic voice

"And" she genuinely liked Mary's character, but it was awkward for Alex as she was little bit _too_ likeable "Little Alexandra. It's like you were only a baby in nappies yesterday" They decided that Alex knew Matt as a baby, and it was referencing Amy and Rory's story. A bit. The Doctor gagged on purpose, but it was still hilarious as Mary's expression was utmost horror

"Yes. I'm sure it was longer than that" she said unsteadily

"Now, You are going to be my only daughter. So I want this wedding PERFECT" she eyed the Doctor

"Alexandra, is that someone there?" Sarah-Jane would be reserved and more quiet than Mrs Smith. Yes they named him Matt Smith. Mary was running out of name ideas

"Ah. Sarah-Jane. It's been a while since I saw you in high school" she said platonically, albeit forced

"Yes. Donna, you took a degree in Fashion didn't you" Ironic as Donna's character was deliberately a bad dresser

"Yes. And you took one in Journalism" Donna said forced

"How's Shaun, enjoying the south of France I suppose?" she asked

"Yes. And I am sorry for your husband" she said haughtily

"Who knows what Shaun could be doing in the South of France, there's plenty of women he could be with" electricity crackled between them.

"Anyway" Mary said "Donna, what do you think about these things" Mary took out a gigantic scroll of paper, throwing it down on the floor.

"Well. I need to see the dress" Donna said

"It's already been ordered. I can't replace it" Mary said delicately, she was preparing for the blast

"THEN MAKE THEM REPLACE IT. I'M GUESSING YOUR MOTHER PICKED IT. SHE DID DIDN'T SHE" Donna roared at the three of them

"I think she looks wonderful in that dress" Amy came out, walking proudly, she was sticking to Alex's side of this "I'm Andrea, Andrea Waterfield" Amy held out a hand. Mary was picking names from past companions to get a grasp on their character.

"I'm Donna. Matt's mum" the Doctor made a choking mime behind her back. Donna was back to sweetness

"Andie. Is that Matt's mum?" Jack walked out

"Who are you?" Donna asked flirtatiously. Matt palmed his face

"Josh. Josh Chesterson" Jack winked

"Josh, no flirting with the in-laws" Mary sighed

"I was just introducing myself" he retorted

"Andie, I thought you guys were supposed to be at that dress fitting?" Rory walked in

"Rory" Amy said unsurely, nodding in Donna's direction "Donna's here, we could take her" she said in that same tone

"Yes. I'm coming. We're wasting so much time" Donna pulled Mary out of the door. They all literally sprinted through the hidden corridor to get to stage left. There were racks out and the coats Amy and Jack were wearing were there to help their costume change

"No, No. Try THIS one" Donna said. Amy came out in a Hawaiian outfit

"Donna. It's Harry Potter themed" Alex (Mary) said gently

"Well. Try that stupid robe on" Donna said disturbed "I want you to wear this" she pushed Amy back into the metal framed box, with white cloth draped over it. It was used as multiple props, she owed her high-school drama department for that one. Amy came out in a sexy witches outfit

"No, it's a church wedding Donna. What about this" Sarah-Jane suggested. Mary was trying to constantly interject, however, she was deliberately being cut off, as the two women tried showing each other off

"No, I don't want the purple, the motif is pink" Donna said. After a bit more bickering, Mary shouted into her head-mike

"SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP" that instantly shut their heated argument "I've got the dresses. All I need now is bonbonniere and the cake" Mary said

"Alright" Donna said haughtily "Let's go then"

They ran this time to stage right. The racks were flipped to be a table, though, transfiguration play part. Mary had conjured plastic chocolates for decoration, the real ones on a plate for their 'tasting'.

"I want these Japanese candies in this" Donna said

"No, mints" Sarah-Jane said decisively

"Then Chocolate" Donna said

"Chocolate's good. I don't like mint." Alex said to break up the heat she took one and took another, tasting the row.

"Remind me to buy some for myself later. I feel like chocolate" Mary said

"OH MY LORD" Sarah-Jane said, running to her

"MY LITTLE GIRL" Donna said, also running.

"Are you pregnant?" Donna asked

"Are you?" Sarah-Jane asked

"Am I going to be a grandmother?" Donna asked

"Are you naming her Sarah-Jane?" Sarah-Jane asked

"No, she's naming her Donna" Donna said. They started bickering over the baby name before Mary literally shouted at them to shut the hell up

"I'm not pregnant. I think I'd bloody know" Mary said exasperated

"Then buy chocolate." Andrea said to help break up the fight. They glanced at each other, mouthing AWKWARD. The scene ended

* * *

"At least if I get married to Albus Potter, Ginny wouldn't be so bad." Mary said

"Wait, you know Albus Potter?" Martha asked

"Yeah. Why?" Mary asked. How had they not figured out that she was dating him

"You're dating him aren't you?" Jenny said

"Doctor, please tell me why your disturbing child knows this?" Mary asked him

"She just does. What do you expect, it's his kid" Donna said

"I'm not a child" Jenny said indignantly

"I call everyone 'child' or 'kids'. It's a mannerism" Mary said

"Hey, we have to figure out the next couple of bits" Rory reminded them

"Yes. LISTEN TO RORY. In case you've forgotten, the universe tried erasing him and it blew up." Mary said

"Yeah Amy" Rory said

"Shut up stupid face" Amy muttered back

"I cower in fear of how your child will turn out" Mary said. Lucinda was currently sleeping in the nursery with little Gabrielle. The nursery had a panel connecting it to the room they used for planning.

"Now. We've got monster in laws, we've had the Wedding dress. I'm saving the stag party for the final act. Act5." Mary said "To be honest. It'll be too much of a stretch of we do a full 10 acts" Mary said

"And" River interjected "It's supposed to be slightly longer than an hour. So it's going to be a short musical."

"Okay we're at act 1 part 4" Mary said "For not the first time in my life, I'm suffering writer's block" Mary sat on the pouf upside down, feet in the air, trying to think. Mary pulled out her copy of Guinness book of World records, turning to her favourite page.

"Why are you reading that?" Jack asked. Mary expertly closed the book and threw it at him.

"Turn to page 173" Mary said. He did so

"OH MY GOD" Jack said "This is you?" he asked. The Doctor checked the page. He death-stared Mary, who in turn poked her tongue out at him.

"When did you get this?" the Doctor asked

"2010. See, I already thought that David Tennant was pretty cool" Mary said, in 2010, she hadn't seen the show yet, she had assumed that this David Tennant bloke looked like a good Doctor.

"You really like this page don't you" Amy asked

"Yep." Mary replied. Now pacing, trying to figure out some more. "Oh, I have it." Mary said suddenly. "This is when we find out Anna likes Matt. So, centre stage for you Donna" Mary said

"That's a good idea" Martha said thoughtfully

"Okay. We need to find a good song" Rose said, jotting down notes for the semi-improvised script

"Coz when Alex catches Matt and Anna kissing. May I add, they were drunk." Mary said in a sudden brainwave Mary was pacing. Her main nervous habit "Mary'll end up sing Winner Takes it all. Nod to Mama Mia"

* * *

Act 1 scene 4

Donna flumped into her seat. Everyone was watching as only Mary, Jack and the Doctor were needed for the scene. Rose made up the song again and this time, it was quite moving

"_Haven't you ever noticed. I was always there._

_Haven't you ever noticed, I was always beside you_

_Haven't you ever noticed, I was the one, you always leaned on." Donna sang sadly, her feet curled up on the lounge. Watching Matt in particular, Mary beside him on the couch._

_"And yet, I was put back in the shadows. I was the one you always counted on, but you never truly loved me" she held the loud note on the me. If Mary was watching this in a movie, she would've been reduced to tears by now "But why… Why am I alone, alone and nought but cold. _

_Why am I in the shadows, if you loved me" Donna sang. Her eyes glistening. Mary made a mental note to buy her an entire hamper from Honeydukes._

_"You saw her from the first moment. _

_You loved her" Her voice went up an octave, holding the note _

_"lived for her" she held the note again as the note was emphasised _

_"And yet you never noticed me" Donna sang _

_"And yet, I was put back in the shadows. I was the one you always counted on, but you never truly loved me. But Why… Why am I alone, alone and nought but cold. Why am I in the shadows if you loved me."_

_"If for only an hour." Holding hour _

_"I could just hold you, and tell how much I loved you" the words 'much I loved you' were the money notes _

_"If only for a moment, you would notice that" That was yet another money note_

_"That I, I was put back in the shadows. _

_I was the one you always counted on, but you never truly loved me. _

_But Why… Why am I alone, alone and nought but cold. Why am I in the shadows._

_ If. You. Loooooooved" she extended love, her voice warbling "Me" me was soft, in a sighing way, as if all hope was lost._

_"_Hey, Anna? Wanna go shopping for shoes?" Alex asked her. Anna whose eyes were teary, were dried and she looked at Alex

"Yeah, yeah, why not" she attempted cheerfully. They walked out the door together. The Doctor was left on the sofa

"What is it with women and crying in Captain America?" he asked to himself. He was oblivious. As usual. The stage blackened and It turned to Mary, Donna and Amy shoe shopping

"Do you think these'll match the bridesmaids dresses?" Mary pulled out a pair

"Yeah" Amy replied enthusiastically

"To be honest, I'd rather wear converse down the aisle" Mary said. The two women laughed

"Oh, trust you to do that. Listen, Melody said she'll be coming to the party. She was really busy" Donna said under the pretence of checking her phone. Mary and Amy walked ahead. It was time for a super tiny reprise

"Why am I in the shadows. If you loved me" Donna sang again, slowly walking to the wings.

* * *

Everyone off stage was cheering so much. Donna was such a brilliant singer and she had moved everyone, including Mickey.

"Aww" Martha, Jonathan, Mary and the Doctor had all said in unison

"What? It's sad. I cry" he said

"Yes. I happen to cry when they kill off Barty Crouch Jr in Harry Potter, when David Tennant regenerates and in several other episodes. Oh, Torchwood; Children of Earth, day 4. They kill off Ianto and I was on the sofa bawling my eyes out" Mary stated grimly

"Do you cry in every episode?" Jack asked

"Nope" Mary said popping her p's "There have been episodes when I R.O.F.L.L.L" Mary said, saying each letter

"Wait, ROFLLL?" Amy asked

"Rolling on floor like Lauren Lopez I'm a Starkid" Mary said apologetically "What do you expect?"

"Does this include the events of the battle of Canary Wharf?" Jonathan asked

"Yep. That and the season 4 finals." Mary said

* * *

Acts 1 scene 5: Production

"Okay" Yet again at the whiteboard "I want to make this the turning point" Mary said "This closes act 1 and opens act 2." She wrote in giant letters STAG PARTY

"Have you ever been to a hens night?" Amy asked

"Despite the fact I'm 35. No, I've never been older than 22" Mary said

"Damn that Master" Rory said

"Oi. Shut up before I write a fanfic on you being the Master's son" Mary said threateningly "So, I'm not going to co-write this one. I'm leaving that to all you people who have actually been married. Doctor that counts as you too" Mary said

"No, how do you know this?" he asked

"Would you like me to list all of your so-called 'romances'" Mary emphasised the word Romance

"No, no, don't you dare!" he said warningly

"Cleopatra, Madame Du Pompadour, Marilyn Munroe, Elizabeth I" Mary said. Most of the people in the room were giggling

"Oh, shut up" he said in embarrassment.

* * *

The companions who were currently indisposed of, everyone except Jenny, Rose and Martha

"So where were you before this all happened?" Amy asked

"Well. We had just left Renaissance Italy after a masquerade ball, and a few discrepancies over the date so we didn't run into Sarah-Jane and the Doctor when he was still wearing that cool scarf" Mary said

"I remember that" Sarah-Jane said

"OH MY FREAKING GOD" Mary was checking the Doctor Who website from the 26th of July 2012.

"What" the Doctor said urgently

"Mary Tamm died" She said

"Romana's dead in real life" he said grimly

"I know. That's why it's worse" Mary said

"Who's Romana?" Rose asked, pen aloft

"She was another Time Lord, younger than the Doctor by about 700 years" Mary said "She regenerated twice. Her first and second regenerations were seen on screen. She has this really cool Princess Leila-style dress. Though, Romana came first" Mary said.

"She became Lord President, but Rassilon took over for the last day of the Time War, he thought it was too much for her" the Doctor said

-line-

Act 1 scene 5: Stag Party

"Wooh" the girls were all dancing on the dance floor, drinking an occasional cocktail, dressed in pink labels, tiaras and what else they wore*

Donna was perhaps the most 'drunk'

"Yeah. Girls love paaaaaarty" Donna said in a rather slurred voice

"Whoop" the girls said repeatedly as they dance to the song, the stage lights were dimmed or multi-coloured, giving a bar theme. The crowd eventually dissipated as it blended into the boys' stag Party. Jack was flirting with River, as the 'pole-dancer' Rory was probably fuming on the inside.

"OI MATES, TOAST TO MATT." Rory screamed out "HE'S GETTING A HOME RUN" Mary cringed in the corner. They all started singing drunkedly. There was a 10 second black out for the hens night lot to get back in. they started their next song: Vous Lez Vous

"_People everywhere, sense of expectation, hanging in the air" the women sang_

_"Giving out a spark. Across the room your eyes are glowing in the dark." The guys sang_

_"And here we go again" the women sang_

_"We know start" the men sang_

_"We know the end" the girls sang. Striking a pose each alternation_

_"Masters of the scene" they sang in unison_

_"We've done it all before" the Doctor sang, one spotlight on him_

_"And now we're back to get some more" Mary sang, her voice enchanting and haunting_

_"You know what I mean" they sang in unison._

_"Vouslez Vous" Mary, the Doctor, Jack and Donna sang. They were the main singers here, the throng replying with "Aha"_

_"Take it now or leave it" they sang again "Aha"_

_"Now is all we get" "Aha"_

_"Nothing promised no regrets" Matt and Jack sang_

_"Vouslez Vous" the four sang again "Aha"_

_"Ain't no big decision" "Aha"_

_"You know what to do" "Aha"_

_"La question C'est voulez vous" Mary and Donna sang this time_

_"Vouslez vous" the entire room sang_

_"I know what you think" Mary sang, starting the next verse_

_"This girl means business so I'll offer her a drink" Matt sang_

_"Looking mighty proud" Donna sand_

_"I see you leave your table, pushing through the crowd" Jack sang_

_"I'm really glad you came" Mary sang_

_"You know the start" Donna sang_

_"You know the end" Jack sang. Yet again posing for each alternation_

_"Master of the scene" the Doctor sang_

_"We've done it all before and now we're back to get some more" the four sang._

_"You know what I mean" the chorus sang_

_"Vouslez Vous" Mary, the Doctor, Jack and Donna sang "Aha"_

_"Take it now or leave it" they sang again "Aha"_

_"Now is all we get" "Aha"_

_"Nothing promised no regrets" Matt and Jack sang_

_"Vouslez Vous" the four sang again "Aha"_

_"Ain't no big decision" "Aha"_

_"You know what to do" "Aha"_

_"La question C'est voulez vous" Mary and Donna sang this time_

_"Vouslez vous" the entire room sang_

_"And here we go again" Donna sang_

_"we know the start" Mary sang_

_"we know the end" Jack and the Doctor sang_

_"Masters of the scene" the chorus sang_

_"We've done it all before" Jack sang_

_"And now we're back" the Doctor sang_

_"To get some more" Mary and Donna sang_

_"You know what I mean" the chorus sang. The chorus was repeated several times more, changing between the genders. The song ended. The entire time the chorus was partnered to dance tangoes and salsas. Mary with the Doctor and Donna with Jack. The crowd dissipated._

"Oi. Matt, how's life" Donna, now drunk asked

"Anna, what the fuck are you doing here?" the Doctor asked, his character drunk

"You know, I realised you were getting hitched to my best friend, so I decided to kiss you before you were eternally committed" she said slurred and slightly inclined. She pulled his face towards hers and faked a kiss. Mary pulled off her mask and entered mid-snog. Being drunk, she threw her mask on the floor and walked to the stage corner where the two of them had left. She was limping on her deliberately broken heel, she fell on the floor and banged her fist on the floor.

"Why the fuck" she cried out loud. "Why the fuck" she repeated quieter. Banging her fist on the floor. The curtains closed. End of act 1.

* * *

"And Cut, that's a wrap guys" River said, back at the camera.

"You can really sing Doctor. I am surprised" Mary said

"I _can_ play football" he said

"Yeah, whatever." Mary dismissed, repairing the broken high heel with a tap of her wand

* * *

A/N: Yeah, that was long. not bothered to put in too much choreography. Okay... PLEASE REVIEW, 13 FREAKING CHAPTERS AND ONLY 2 REVIEWS. I REVIEW EVERY SINGLE STORY I READ AND IT'S NOT FAIR. THERE HAVE BEEN OVER 200 VIEWS AND ONLY 2 PEOPLE HAVE REVIEWED.

Sorry about that, that must be that... infamous... Hogwarts... Jaguar _Hermione shouldn't have to pay for that_, what's that... thanks Jaguar.


	14. Act 2

Hello, okay, second installment. Be prepared for my codes.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Key: Mary is normal in the triple harmony. The Doctor is underlined, Donna is Bold (One of us)

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 14: Act 2

Mary, yet again in the boardroom. She had a feeling every single act prep was going to start like this.

"Okay, Alex confrontation time." Mary said, drawing a bit of a flow chart on the board "She heads Matt of in the morning, ditches him for a time being. She isn't going to call off the wedding as she knows they were all drunk, but she needs time to cool off. She'll be pissed at Anna and will be staying at Andie and Rory's house. The songs I have in mind in order are: Winner takes it all, One of us. By ABBA and Drive by, by Train" Mary said, writing the titles of each song, arrows to where they related.

"Okay. The script will definitely be more improv now we've gotten past act 2." Rose said, taking even more notes down.

"If only my stage wedding dress was the Romana outfit from the seventies" Mary said

"I know right. That would be fun" the Doctor said

"My friend for Textiles, she was new in year 10, was a fan of Romana, so she did her HSC costume for me and got me to full of dress as Romana. The whole theme was inspiration and her inspiration was Romana." Mary said "I've still got the dress. I dress up in cosplay as that"

"No way!" he said

"I know" she squealed back

"Once we start speaking English again" Jack intervened

"Fine. You will never understand how awesome this is" she reprimanded Jack "Okay, we're going to have to figure out the actual wedding dress. 'Coz we didn't actually get it yet" Mary reminded

"Don't worry, the designs are in the final stages" Martha said "We just need to get you fitted, or we can just alter a dress, either way, it'll be brilliant"

* * *

Act 2 scene 1: Winner takes it All

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO KISS HER?" Mary, mock angry or really angry, it was hard to tell for her. She was scary either way. She had experienced so much anger in her life, to fake it was beyond easy, it was naturalistic.

"What!?" Matt asked

"WHY, ANSWER MY QUESTION, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU KISS ANNA?" Mary repeated the question, pushing him against the wall

"I KISSED Anna?" he asked incredulously

"Don't lie. I saw you in the club after the parties" Mary replied "You kissed her" she said, now using as much emotion as possible, to conjure a few tears, each falling down on the floor.

"We were all drunk. If you were in front of Josh, you would've snogged him" he said in defence

"I said he was a girl" Mary said angrier

"Alright. David" he said

"Well, he is cute" she said admittedly "But that's not the point. You kissed her." Mary emphasised.

_"I don't want to talk. About things we've gone through_

_Though it's hurting me, now it's history_

_I've played all my cards, and that's what you've done too_

_Nothing more to say. No more ace to play._

_The winner takes it all. The loser standing small. Beside the victory, that's her destiny." Mary sang, filled with emotion, she didn't dare look off stage to see if Mickey was crying_

_"I was in your arms, thinking I'd be strong there_

_I figured it makes sense, building me a fence._

_Building me a home, thinking I'd be strong there. But I was a fool, playing by the rules" she finished the second verse. They were dressed in flowing outfits to match the soulful song, she had to hand it to Martha for letting her wear the Romana outfit. They were now moving around the room. Matt running after Mary in a bit of a contemporary dance_

_"The gods may throw the dice, their minds as cold as ice._

_And someone was down here, loses someone dear._

_The winner takes it all, the loser standing small._

_It's simple and it's plain, why should I complain?" Mary was hitting all the notes, River's face impressed_

_"But tell me does she kiss, like I used to kiss you_

_Does it feel the same, when she calls your name_

_Somewhere deep inside, you must know I miss you_

_But what can I say, rules must be obeyed" Mary reverting back to the sad softness, the instumentals were truly moving for this song. Mary stood on the sill of the window prop, hands clinging on the sides of the open window, jumping down, the dress flowed_

_"The judges will decide, the likes of me abide,_

_Spectators of the show, always stay in love_

_The game is on again, a lover or a friend_

_A big thing or a small, the Winner takes it all" this particular bit of the lyrics was quite touching, she heard muffled sniffles in the back corner._

_"I don't want to talk, if it makes you feel sad._

_And I understand, you've come to shake my hand" Holding her hand out for him to shake, his horrified gaze meeting hers_

_"I apologise, if it makes you feel bad, seeing me so tense, no self confidence_

_But you see ._

_The winner takes it all….." Mary held the note exactly, years of Choir and karaoke had paid off_

_"The Winner takes it all" she sang all the accents to the words and held it, the chorus had sang the rest of it and the lights dimmed._

"Matt. I'll get married, just, please, let me think for a bit" Mary picked up the trunk. Tears streaming down both of their faces. River had this on video, she was going to haunt him with the thought she had reduced him to tears.

"No, please, we were all drunk" he said, tears falling too

"I know, I just want to calm down. You can't control emotions" Mary said before walking out the door.

The scene was very quickly re-arranged, magic certainly used, to become Andie and Rory's house.

"Hey, if you were drunk, you would've snogged Rory" Amy said reassuringly "You just need to relax, you're getting married" Amy said

"I know, I guess I am really hyped" Mary said depressed. She put down her suitcase

"Just be ready for what's coming" Amy said, placing Mary's head on her shoulder, sitting on the sofa.

* * *

"Great Job" River said, still a bit sniffly from Mary's solo

"Wow" Rose said "Did you do voice lessons?"

"No, I just happen to be able to hold a note" Mary said

"Okay, one song down, another 2 to go. I did think about talking to the moon" Rose said, Mary holding back a snort. "But I find it only good for people, who were, separated for good." The Doctor and Mary looked at each other, winking

"What's with the wink?" Rose looked up

"On going running joke" Mary said, the Doctor nodding

"Namely?" Sceptical and scary Rose Tyler, the Doctor spilled the beans

"You know you get trapped in an alternate universe?" the Doctor said

"Yeah… oh" Rose understood it, laughing

"We were watching it and she started crying" he laughed

"So did you" Mary retorted back

"Anyway" Jonathan intervened "Act 2 scene 2. What's going to happen"

"Okay, if we go into Anna, Matt, Alex denial. You know. The Abba song one of us. Our production manager" Mary looked at Rose "Had an idea on this"

"Okay, if the stage is split three different ways." Rose started, Mary drew an example on the board with moving stick figures, taping her wand.

"Well, our only problem is figuring out the way we're going to split the lyrics so that their Point of View comes into play" Jonathan said

"Okay, I got the lyrics" Rose said, using Mary's laptop. "Alright, I think I got a way to split this"

* * *

The longest day possible

"Okay guys. I want the set to be split three different ways" Jenny showed them her page "The rooms from left to right will be dad, Mary then Donna" her 'rooms' were boxed capsules, the walls between Mary and the Doctor were being leaned on by the beds. Donna's bed was in the same direction as Mary, but it was on it's own.

"Okay, I think I get this. Let's edit the room colours, I hate pink" Mary said

"That's okay, I wanted purple too. Let's start this" Jenny said as the nails, nail guns and the hidden TARDIS tool box was brought out. Mary wasn't allowed to use her wand as River said that they may be monitored and disqualified.

"How's painting going on that side?" Mary asked as the built set needed painting and furnishing.

"Pretty well, can any of you wallpaper" Rory shouted from the other side of the wall

"Sort of, it's just steady hands on that. Paint it all, it won't work if it's wet" Mary said. They kept painting, the most labour intensive thing there, after at least a couple of hours of constant speed drying, they all sat down.

"Okay" Jenny walked back happily "We need 3 beds, 3 book-side tables and perhaps lamps?"

"Okay, I think we've got some junk in the TARDIS attic" Mary said, the Doctor sitting there mouth open

"You BROKE into the TARDIS attic!?"

"Yep. I was mainly interested in the Carrionite globe, the Cybus industry thing. I found the teleporter from Doomsday and started crying." Mary said "Then I found your year book. And I quote from you 'I want my own type 40 TARDIS and hopefully will be travelling the stars, visiting earth'" Mary said

"It's better than yours" he retorted

"Oh yeah space Casanova, I said that I would be at University, travelling to London and Cardiff" Mary said

"Same thing" he said

"One we stop cat fighting" Jack said

"Shut up" nearly all the room said. After their quick lunch, they started furnishing the rooms, ready to start filming

"Okay, you are on in 3, 2, 1" River rolled the camera

* * *

Act 2 scene 2

All three of them sat with their heads against the wall, looking bored, worried, confused.

"It's entirely my fault" Donna said first "I kissed him, it's entirely my fault. I've ruined her wedding. I'm her best mate, and I've ruined it." Donna said sadly and enforcing to herself "I should call her. C'mon pick up" simultaneously, Mary's phone rang Rose's Theme, but she let it end before picking up.

"I'm not picking up. Sorry. I'm not" Mary said softly, turning to face the audience

"David, now is not the time to text me" the Doctor said sadly.

_"They passed me by, all of those great romances_

_**You were I felt, robbing me, of my rightful chances**_

_My picture clear, everything seems so easy_

_That's why I dealt you the blow, one of us had to go_

_**Now it's different I want you to know**_

_One of us is crying_

_One of us is lying_

_**In her lonely bed**_

_Staring at the ceiling, wishing she was somewhere else instead_

_One of us is lonely_

_**One of us is only, waiting for a call**_

_Sorry for herself_

_**Feeling stupid**_

_Feeling small_

_Wishing she had never left at all_

_Never left at all" _Both Mary and Donna sang

_**"I saw myself, as a concealed attraction**_

_I felt you kept me away, from the heat and the action_

_Just like a child, stubborn and misconceiving_

_**That's why I started to show**_

_One of us had to go_

_Now I've changed and I want you to know" _ Mary stood up as they all did, though it was essential she was first as she emphasised this bit. Mary leant on the spare wall where the Doctor was. Donna the same

_"One of us is crying, one of us is lying. In her lonely bed_

_**Staring at the ceiling, wishing she was somewhere else instead**_

_One of us is lonely, one of us is only, waiting for a call_

_Sorry for herself, feeling stupid_

_**Feeling small**_

_Wishing she had never left at all "Both Mary and the Doctor sang_

_**Never left at all" **_ Donna finished

_"Staring at the ceiling, wishing she was somewhere else instead. One of us is lonely, one of us is only. Waiting for a call. Sorry for herself feeling stupid feeling small. Wishing she had never left at all. Never left at all" _They all harmonised on this last little bit, the song faded

"Andie, Rory" Mary called out leaving her 'capsule' "I believe I am leaving"

"Where to?" Amy asked

"Where I should be right now. Planning a wedding" Mary ran out through the side wings, Amy and Rory looking extremely happy, they ran to a phone calling the Doctor

"Matt. She's coming back" Rory said excitedly

"No" he said happily

"Yes" Amy retorted "So get your stupid arse there now" the Doctor and the two hung up and they all ran out the side wing. Donna was left, she walked out of her room and began to walk, running into Mary

"Alex." Donna said sadly

"Anna" Mary hugged her

"I'm sorry, I really am. I was, well we were all drunk" she tried explaining

"I know. Look, I guess I'm just all tensed up. Now I believe we have a wedding to plan" they all ran out and the lights dimmed.

"Are we going into where the hell are they all?" Mary asked as they finished the scene, getting ready for the next scene.

"Yeah, I have a good song for that. Drive by, by Train" Rose said

"Yes, I have an idea for that too." Mary said

* * *

Prep room, day, well, I can't count anymore, have you _tried_ making even a small set for drama?

"Okay" Mary wasn't surprised she was at the front "Rose, run through your drive by idea"

"Okay, well, I wanted Matt to walk from one side to another, Mary walking in opposite direction. Then the words 'it was like de ja vu', I want there to be so many interferences between the two of them, that he can't reach her." Mary understood, she made a bit of a diagram on the board. Minimal props, that would be good.

"Okay, this better work" The Doctor said, he was probably sick of dancing about by now

* * *

Act 2 scene 3

"Where is she?" the Doctor looked for her on the 'street'

"He's gotta be here someplace" Mary said, Donna with her. It then moved to the Doctor's POV

"_On the other side of a street I knew_

_stood a girl that looked like you_

_I guess that's déjà vu_

_But I thought this can't be true_

_Cause you moved to west L.A or New York or Santa Fe_

_Oh but that one night_

_Was more than just right_

_I didn't leave you cause I was all through_

_Oh I was overwhelmed, and frankly scared as hell_

_Because I really fell for you" This was the moment where he bought a bouquet and started looking for her._

_"Oh I swear to you, I'll be there for you_

_This is not a drive by_

_Just a shy guy looking for a two ply_

_Hefty bag to hold my love_

_When you move me, everything is groovy_

_They don't like it sue me_

_Either way you do to me_

_Oh I swear to you, I'll be there for you, this is not a drive by" he was walking around, looking in the oddest places for Mary_

_"On the upside of a downward spiral_

_My love for you went Viral_

_And I loved you every mile you drove by_

_But now here you are again" He successfully met her and they were holding hands in an oh-so-cute way. Mary opened her moth to speak, but unable as he cut her off_

_"So let's skip the 'how you've been' And get down no more than friends at last_

_Oh but that one night, is still the highlight_

_I didn't need you until I came to_

_And I was overwhelmed, and frankly scared as hell_

_Because I really fell for you_

_Oh I swear to you, I'll be there for you_

_This is not a drive by_

_Just a shy guy looking for a two ply_

_Hefty bag to hold my love_

_When you move me, everything is groovy_

_They don't like it sue me_

_Either way you do to me_

_Oh I swear to you, I'll be there for you, this is not a drive by_

_Please believe that when I leave_

_There's nothing up my sleeve but love for you_

_And a little time to get my head together too_

_On the other side of a street I know_

_Stood a girl that looked like you_

_I guess that's déjà vu_

_Cause_

_Oh I swear to you, I'll be there for you_

_This is not a drive by_

_Just a shy guy looking for a two ply_

_Hefty bag to hold my love_

_When you move me, everything is groovy_

_They don't like it sue me_

_Either way you do to me_

_Oh I swear to you, I'll be there for you, this is not a drive by"_

The number ended with the infamous fake kiss before the seen moulded into final wedding preparations.

"Nice to see you again" she said to the mannequin, the exquisite dress facing backwards. Matt tried coming in, but donna was comically blocking the door from him

"YOU CAN'T BLOODY COME IN YET!" she screamed

"I NEED TO USE THE BATH ROOM!" he screamed out

"PEE BEHIND A BUSH FOR ALL I CARE" she screamed back

"Will you two shut up?" Mary said. Donna was rolling the wedding dress behind a curtain, trying to hide it.

"What do you want now?" but Mary's question wasn't answered as the Doctor ran into a room saying 'bathroom'

"He wasn't lying" Donna shrugged, Mary shrugging with her. Cue Blackout.

* * *

"Well sweetie. All of us eternally hold blackmail against you" River said, wiping the front of the camera

"What blackmail?" he asked, coming out of the door

"Well, you've just sung and danced infront of an alien audience" she smirked

"If only I could meet younger versions of yourself, that would be fun, picking on every single detail." Mary said in a dreamy voice.

"Well, we only have, what, 2 more scenes" he nodded

"Unfortunately for you. It involves busting more moves" Mickey said

"Down the aisle" Martha said.

"No way. We're doing that dancing wedding entrance thing!" Mary said

"Yes, now, this should be fun" Jonathan said "Melody Pond" he called River

"Yes sweetie?" she asked

"You, Martha, Mickey and everyone will need to be in it. There's not enough people and we need to make it look cool"

"Or alternatively, Torchwood has fun at weddings" Mary said

"Oh yeah, and that Nostrovite" Jack said

"And Ianto shopping for Gwen's larger wedding dress" Mary got excited.

"Anyway" Jonathan said in his way "We need to figure out what we are supposed to wear"

"I've got that Doctor, the bridesmaids are in purple. Guys in grey. Mary, I've gotten hold of a recreation of Fleur's wedding dress" Mary made a fist pump.

"Then we thought that the setting should be outdoors-y. I mean, I would love to make this like Blackpool" Jenny said

"You've seen Blackpool? I find it ironic that the Doctor, The Racnoss Empress and Jackson Lake are all the leads." Mary mused "Anyway, casino, 'Don't leave me this way', 'Always something there to remind me', 'Should I stay or should I go'. I know what you mean" Mary ranted on. Both Doctors and nearly everyone else in the room was looking at her like she was mad.

"It _is_ where I got part the inspiration from" Rose admitted. "Oi, Mickey, don't swan off, can you get the drinks out of the fridge" Rose joked, as Mickey left for the kitchen

"Mary" Sarah-Jane said "And Doctor, what do we do if we don't get off"

"Sarah, we'll get off. Even if" The Doctor started

"I have to erase their memories" Mary finished

"Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad." Jenny started "If I got married, would you let me?" she said out of the blue

"What!?" Mary, Donna, Martha, Jack and Jonathan all said in unison

"What sort of question is that?" the Doctor asked, choking on his own spit.

"It was a random question" she said

"It better only be" Jonathan muttered darkly.

* * *

"Okay" Martha tried the Dresses and suits on all cast members

"Wow. That really suits you" The Doctor said, pointing to Mary's dress

"Really?" Mary asked, looking at her reflection

"No, really" he said

"Ooh. Sexual tension" Jack said. Mary, Donna and the Doctor punched him all at the same time

"Shut the fuck up before you find your mouth has vanished for good. I also know a good entrails expelling curse" Mary said. Jack turned vaguely green before looking at his reflection

"Does my bum look good in this?" Jack winked

"In case you've forgotten, you're dating his daughter, technically my niece, and you just flirted with her dad" Jonathan said to Jack's red Face.

"Sarah-Jane, what do you think about this?" Martha tried pinning the sleeve on Sarah's bolero a bit.

"It's wonderful. I think the apple green goes well with the purple theme" she said.

"Okay, Donna, how's the purple chiffon working for you?"

"It's fine, believe me" Donna said "You can't get it more shape flattering can you?"

"Donna, for you, it's fine" Jack flirted

"Yet again, that's Jenny's aunt." Mary sighed.

"Okay. You really like reminiscing, don't you" River said, Mary got her to wear the dress when she escaped from Stormgate, to go to the Byzantium

"Yes, and Martha liked the idea" Mary said.

"I think we're all set to film" Rose said.

* * *

Act 2 Part 4

"Are they all ready?" Rose was talking to Mickey and Martha, waiting in the 'tent'

"David just texted, they'll be entering in 5 minutes." Mickey said

"Am I late?" River walked in

"No, you're right on time" Martha said

"Oh, there you all are, there's such a crowd. Matt had his parents deliberately come late, late as in, miss the entire wedding and join the reception" Jenny sidled up to them. The entering titles to 'Forever' started playing and they settled themselves.

The pattern to the song was a bridesmaid, groomsmen then after all of them, the maid of honour followed by the best man with Sarah-Jane last. Then they all managed to run through the side wings to get to the front doors and dance as an entire entourage, revealing the Doctor and he was sat on their shoulders. Then after the bridge, Mary entered, with everyone whooping, dancing to the song down the aisle, before she and the Doctor linked arms and walked down together.

The wedding was passed by really quickly before the celebrant (an animated dummy that the Doctor had put together to be as real as possible. In the form of Michael Gambon) proclaimed them husband and wife. After their FINAL kiss for the musical, they all moved off for the reception. Donna had the quickest change in history, as she donned a wide brim hat and cream blazer.

"DAAAAAAAAAAHHHHRRRRRRLLLLLLI IIIINNNNNGGGG" Donna said "I'm LATE!?"

"Mother" Mary and the Doctor said uneasily "The" Mary started

"Transport" he said

"Had" she said

"Mental issues" they said in unison.

"Oh, no wonder the driver kept giving me blank looks" she said "Your father is on _hiatus_" she said hiatus forced

"Oh" the two said in unison again.

"Sarah-Jane" Donna said coldly

"Donna. I see that you're wearing inappropriate clothes for this event" she pointed to stilettos that would sink in grass

"And I see that you don't like mainstream fashion" Donna retorted back. This was part of Rose's brainwave. Anything you can do, I can do better. (Mid a/n: Donna=bold. SJ= underline)

"_Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do better anything better than you" they sang in unison _

_No you can't_

_**Yes I can**__, __No you Can't__, __**Yes I can, **__No you can't__, __**Yes I can. **__Yes I can!. __This was repeated twice_

_**I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge**_

_I can get a sparrow with a bow and an arrow_

_**I can live on bread and cheese**_

_And only that?_

_**Yes.**_

_So can a Rat! Any note you can reach, I can go higher, I can sing anything higher than you_

_**No you can't**__ ,Yes I can. __**No you can't**__ ,Yes I can. __**No you can't**__ ,Yes I can. __**No you can't**__ ,Yes I can!_ Sarah sang the highest

_**Anything you can buy**__**I can buy cheaper. I can buy anything**__**Cheaper than you.**__  
_

_Fifty cents?__**Forty cents**__! __Thirty cents?__**Twenty cents**__! __No, you can't!__Yes, I can,__Yes, I can!__  
_

_Anything you can say__I can say softer.__I can say anything__Softer than you.__  
_

_**No, you can't. (Softly)**__**  
**__Yes, I can. __**No, you can't**__Yes, I can. __**No, you can't. **__Yes, I can. (Softer)__**YES, I CAN! (Full volume)**__  
_

_**I can drink my liquor**__**Faster than a flicker.**__**  
**_

_I can drink it quicker__And get even sicker!__  
_

_**I can open any safe.**__  
_

_Without bein' caught?__  
_

_**Sure.**__  
_

_That's what I thought-__  
_

_you crook!__  
_

_Any note you can hold__I can hold longer.__I can hold any note__Longer than you.__  
__**No, you can't**__.__  
_

_Yes, I can__**No, you can't**__. __Yes, I can__**No, you can't**__. __Yes, I can __Yes, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I __**No, you C-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-N'T-** __**CA-A-A-A-N! (Cough, cough!) **_

_**Yes, you ca-a-a-an!**_

_**Anything you can wear, I can wear better. I what you wear, I'd look better than you.**_

_In my coat? In my shoes? In your hat! No you can't!_

_**Yes I can. Yes I can!**_

_Anything you can say, I can say faster, I can say anything faster than you._

_**No you can't, **__Yes I can. __**No you can't, **__Yes I can, __**NOYOUCAN'T. **_YESICAN! Sarah was fastest

_**I can jump a hurdle**_

_I can wear a girdle_

_**I can knit a sweater **_

_I can fill it better_

_**Can you bake a pie?**_

_No._

_**Neither can i.**_

_Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter, I can sing anything sweeter than you._

_**No you can't. **__Yes I can. Yes I can, __**No you can't. **__Yes I can, can, can __(in a sugary sweet voice)_

_"Yes I can, No You Can't" They Finished_

It was quite an interesting scene really, as they were ripping the 'place' get 'trashed'. The scene ended.

* * *

Act 2 Scene 5- Finale

This was supposed to be the wedding waltz and a bit more dancing. Mary and the Doctor had danced to the Potter Waltz from Goblet of Fire. The next few bits were random dance scenes. This was all tied in with the fact most of them were drunk. Jack started to sing 'I don't feel like dancing' and was kicked off the stage. Several disco songs like 'Burn Baby Burn', 'September' and Michael Jackson songs were put into the mix. The entire show ended with a reprise of Drive by, by the entire cast. Mary and the Doctor gave the final sentence to the camera

'To the wonderful judges' Mary started

"To the beautiful audience" the Doctor said

"And to the members of fanfiction reading this" (That's me, author )

"Thank you. Thank you and please vote for team TARDIS" River ended the tape and everyone started partying. All hung in the balance now. Whether they would leave or modify several memories.

* * *

"Okay, we have to get there, now" the Doctor was sent another cyber note, as they all sat in the TARDIS console. Waiting. They were dematerialised and materialised into the judging panel. They sat there in a group with Carrionites and Slitheen.

"The Winner of this year's Musical is…" everyone anticipated the result. River caught Mary's eyes and gave the 'prepare-to-run' gaze

"TEAM TARDIS!" Miranda said. "You are free to leave" they all ran for it, into the TARDIS. The Slitheen and Carrionites were in outrage and were throwing things everywhere. It was about time they left this plane. They didn't even serve decent tacos.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, i have a recent obsession with tacos. Now please review, and shout out to the peeps who have added this to their favourites :) i am eternally grateful. Now, you really won't expect what's coming next. Maybe, for all i know, you do. Please check out my other stories :)


	15. A Final Trip

A/N: Now, this is most opportune. I suggest everyone goes to the bbc doctor who website and find out what they're doing for the 50th anniversary. This marks the end of travelling with every single companion. Not before they go to Mary's childhood memories in Australia. I've been to all the places i've mentioned in Australia, and they're cool :)

Disclaimer: No i don't own anything

* * *

Contradictory Chapter 15: A final Trip

"I think we should stay with earth for a while" the Doctor said

"Well, as much as I'd like to stay, I'm afraid I'm being hunted down" River said, and using her vortex manipulator, she left.

"Amy, is it weird knowing that River, well… Mels set you and Rory up. Coz if she didn't, she wouldn't exist?"

"Yeah. Actually that's really weird" Amy said. "Doctor, what about a theme park?"

"Wizarding world of Harry Potter" Jonathan and Martha said at the same time

"Been there, done that." Mary and the Doctor said in unison

"Ooh, Australia." Mary said "I haven't been there in _ages_" she begged

"Okay. Sydney, Luna Park, 2012" he said

"Oh, and wear light clothes. It's a really hot summer" Mary added as an after note.

* * *

"You weren't kidding" Rose said. Mary was wearing a floral shirt, mini-shorts and her converse. Beach bag over her shoulder. Mary had picked the Doctor's outfit, that way he blended in. He was in a blue t-shirt and a pair of short, going past his knees.

"Well done on the outfit, I have no idea on how you got him to wear that" Rory said

"Neither do I, though I threatened him with a jinx or too"

"That would explain it" Jack said "Right, let's split up, that way we don't annoy each other."

"And DROWN yourself in sunscreen" Mary warned. She had lathered on the sunscreen before leaving the TARDIS, her sunglasses perched on her nose.

"What are you doing?" the Doctor asked

"Buying a slush puppy" Mary handed over a couple of coins, buying one in cola and one in bubble gum

"I like bubble gum" she said in her defence as he looked at her

"Okay, ooh, I want to try that" he pointed to several different water slides. Agreeing to that, they left the several rides covered in water.

"Wow." Rose was on her way from a petting zoo with Jonathan and Gabrielle "You got drenched" she noted

"It's fun" he said breathlessly "No kidding"

"Okay, well, we all said we'll all meet at the ferry, then we'd do to Darling Harbour and buy lunch" Jonathan said. Jonathan was in similar shorts, but a cool Star Wars t-shirt.

"I've always wanted to try that rollercoaster!" Mary pulled him in that direction

"No, I want to do the ferris wheel" he said, tagging her along with him. She reluctantly stood in the glass carriage and watched as the water began to shrink.

"Look. That's Amy" Mary said, pointing to Amy's red hair

"How can you tell from this high off the ground?" he asked incredulously

"I just can"

"Look." He said "That little blip that way" he pulled her towards the corner, showing her the headland

"But that's a while away. That's Wattamolla. I used to go there as a kid" Mary said. Wattamolla was a cove and a lagoon. The main beach everyone went to was the small rock face-cliff, with the lagoon beneath it. She loved diving off the smaller ledge. Her cousins; Sierra, Chloe, Olivia and Bronte in particular, would jump off the actual top. About 10 or so metres off the water line. The water there was deeper than 3 metres. Mary had jumped off the top before though, on several occasions. "Why?, what is it?"

"I sense something. You know what? Let's go to the beach" he said

"Ooh, undercover job. That's fun." Mary said, as they finished the ride and got off the immense thing. Mary's phone went off and she answered

"Hello? Jenny, are you guys all there?"

"Yeah, get here now. There's something wrong."

"Your dad says so too." She ended grimly, as she took hold of the Doctor's wrist and apparated to the TARDIS

* * *

"I thought we were going to take a ferry?" Jack said, as they entered the merciful air-conditioning of the TARDIS

"Change of plan. We're going to a lagoon/cove place. That's where we saw the blip." Mary said

"And, bring your swimmers." The Doctor said. Mary had ran to her room, looking for her purple swim suit. Making sure the door was locked she changed and slipped on a beach dress, her hair in a messy French braid. She changed out of her converse, instead opting for a pair of sandals. She brought a bigger bottle of sunscreen. Re-applying sunscreen, her skin, as she was Filipino, didn't turn red, it turned brown and she tanned very easily, her tans never left, so she tried avoiding the sun when unnecessary.

"Well, we're here. And, don't wear flip-flops. Not good for running" he said.

"I dare you to jump off the cliff" Mary challenged

"10 quid on that?" Jenny said brightly

"Deal" the Doctor said.

They stepped out into the intense sunlight and the babies were in little baby-baskets. Mary put up the beach umbrellas and the babies were placed in the shade, Rose and Amy watching them. Mary climbed up to the lowest ledge with Rory, Jack, Martha, Jonathan, Jenny and the Doctor. Mary jumped off first, the ripples showed where everyone had landed.

"Round two?" Jack asked

"Yeah, but you have to go around the long way to reach the top" they all walked back to the sand, under the trees where Rose, Amy and Sarah-Jane were

"I'm not jumping of _there!_" Mickey said, pointing to the top of the cliff

"Me neither" Jonathan said "I'm human and I've got only _one_ life"

"I'm staying in the shade. How hot is it?" Martha asked Mary

"Ooh, today's about average. 30 ish. Not 40, 40 the sweat sticks to you" Mary said she took hold of the only people game enough to do it. Jack, the Doctor, Rory and Jenny. They landed on top of the cliff and waited for their turn.

"Oh, sorry" she bumped into a couple of people

"Hi Mary" a guy said '_shit'_ she thought. She was looking at a couple of her friends. Tall, pale and raven-haired Angelo. Shorter, curly haired with tanned skin; Simon. Then pretty, curly Kira.

"Hey." She said "How's life"

"Finishing high-school. So much studying" Angelo said "Who's your friends"

"Oh. Um, exchange students from London. Matt, Rory, Jenny. Jack's a pre-service teacher that they're coming with"

"Just you hosting them?" Kira asked

"No, our friends are down at the bottom. Oh, Ang, this is you" Mary pointed out. He jumped off. Kira following him, then Simon. As soon as the coast was clear, Rory jumped off first, a splash sounded as he entered the water.

"Jack, you next" Mary said, Jack winked as he performed several diving tricks, before landing in the water

"SHOW OFF!" Mary screeched at him as he looked up, he winked and swam away.

"Jenny, you first" the Doctor said scared

"Aww, dad, I think you owe me 10 quid now" she said in a pout, before jumping off. She swam to the edge and met Rose, holding a towel.

"Doctor, I have to have evidence you did it. Now, go."

"I can't " he said worryingly

"Would you like eternal blackmail" Mary said

"Fine. But I am going to kill you" he said. "GERONIMO" he said loudly, before jumping off the edge. Mary followed him fearlessly, feeling the adrenaline rush, before landing in the water.

They swam to the edge, sitting on the shoreline, where the sand merged into the lagoon.

"That was awesome dad" Jenny said. Gabrielle seemed to be babbling at him

"What's that? You _think_ I could've pulled off a couple of tricks?" he asked the baby "I was… was… was…" he stuttered "Hesitating. In front of people" he said darkly

"Gabrielle, he's just scared" Mary smirked. "Now, down to business, are we not checking that blip out?"

"I've scanned it with the sonic" the Doctor put on a shirt, as he had dived off in a pair of board shorts, shirtless. At that occasion, Jack wolf whistled. Jack was extremely determined to go shirtless. Mary just rolled her eyes at all of them. The Doctor was staring at Jenny to put a shirt over her purple bikini-top as he thought things with Jack could get out of hand. "But it seems to have moved up coast further, as in further away. " he explained "And it's signal seems to be a message, from _other_ alien activity"

"So, can you trace what beaches it'll hit?" Mary asked

"Yes, This one, then Manly, then Anna bay." He said, checking out the signals

"Anna Bay. HUGE sand dunes and you get to ride on a boogie board down them. It's like tobogganing. But on sand" she explained

"Can we stay here? It's nice" Sarah-Jane said "It's only 3:00 pm" she said

"That's why the sun isn't as intense" Mary said aloud "Well, anyone for barbeque?"

"Yeah, let's go back up to the TARDIS in a while. The kids haven't gone swimming yet" Jonathan said

"Fine." The Doctor conceded as Amy, Rory, Rose, Jonathan, Jack and Jenny went to the lagoon near the sea. Mary, Martha, Mickey, Sarah-Jane and the Doctor all swam about 50 metres to the other side of the lagoon, where a rope was, people swung off it to land in the water.

"WOOOOOH!" Mary shouted as she let go of the rope. She ended up hitting Martha and Sarah-Jane as she landed "Sorry" she said

"It's fine, I haven't done this in years" Sarah-Jane said. She stepped on the knot of the rope, swinging, she let go, shouting with glee. They continued like this for another hour before heading back into the TARDIS.

"Well, I think we should take a rest from the beach for a while" Rose said

"But the blip" Jonathan said

"I managed to reach it." The Doctor said "It was floating this way, near the coast. Anyway, I managed to get the signal it was sending." He said suddenly grimly. "It's the pattern"

"No" Jack, Martha, Jonathan and Mary said

"It's the sound of drums" he said grimly, before they launched into singing the chorus of 'Voodoo Child'

"But, that implies they got out of that giant cushioning charm" she said

"You _cushioned_ it?" the Doctor asked

"It's a trap too. It's like a giant inflatable balloon, that's semi-deflated, they fell directly in the centre, they shouldn't get out for a while, because the middle's so indented."

"I wouldn't be surprise on what those two could be doing" Jack said suggestively

"You know, neither would I" the Doctor agreed

"But, what are we supposed to do now?" Sarah-Jane asked

"We just wait to see what happens." He said as they all went up to their rooms to soak

* * *

Albus Potter's POV 2029, Group Townhouse, London

"What do you think she's doing?" Al asked Rose and Scorpius

"She's not going to cheat on you. He told me herself, there's such an awkward age gap between her and the Doctor" Rose said exasperated. Rose was sitting with Scorpius, reading as he watched a movie with Al

"Al, she's probably getting all her workouts in one day. I mean, the amount of running they do on that show. Plus she's probably found more guys who like her." Scorp added to annoy him

"Alice? Where did you come out of?" Albus asked. Alice was younger than all of them, she was in Locran and Lysander's year at Hogwarts. She was only a new-graduate and stayed with them when her mum was out on business.

"Oh, Mum's got this thing for work, Dad's at Hogwarts." Alice explained

"Oh, well, Mary's on a trip for a while" Rose explained

"Really? That's why she wasn't here on her birthday. It must be important for her to leave Al, a lone, lonely, loner" Alice said. Alice resembled her grandmother. Alice Longbottm I and her husband had recovered from what was supposed to be a sealed fate. Though, not that better, they still required medical assistance, but they were no longer under the effects of amnesia and were more mentally stable. Alice had her father's round face, but her mother's dark, auburn hair. It was thin enough to look good in a spunky bob cut, with the ends all in flicks. Her blue eyes seemed to always be calm.

"Oi" Albus said

"Potter, I'm picking up cupcakes, I got some red velvet" Alice said, before taking her car. Mary's TARDIS blue mini-cooper was in the garage. Unbeknownst to anyone, Al secretly wiped the windows, like Mary used to while she was gone. If only his family knew what he was up to. After all, James was a year and a bit older than him, and married with a potion in the cauldron. It was his turn, and he wasn't going to let his vivacious sister take the limelight for once.

* * *

"Not AGAIN!" Mary said, several days had passed since the beach trip

"No, it's the beat" the Doctor said

"We're dead" Jack said as the TARDIS seemed to be going in and out of control

"Why are we getting pulled in dad?" Jenny asked, pulling levers and pushing buttons

"I don't know, but it seems to be in Paris?" he looked at the coordinates "Yes, Paris."

* * *

"WE'VE GOT IT!" the Master said brightly

"I know, keep reeling it in. Ooh, Doctor, wait till I get my hands on my gun. It needs an hour or so more charging" the Rani said

"It better work." The Master said, pressing buttons on the control frame

"It will darling" the Rani gave him a peck on the cheek

"I'm just not going to mention you and the Doctor and that drunk party" the Master muttered "Why Paris?"

"It's the earth city of love. And I would _love_ to see the Doctor die" she said deviously

* * *

"That was loud" Sarah-Jane commented as they crashed

"Versailles" Mary said under her breath "No, not again"

"Yes again, again." The Doctor confirmed "What's that?" he had no time to explain as everyone ducked. Mary was pushed aside.

"What the Hell?" Martha asked

"That light wasn't an ordinary light, it's a ray of some form. We need to get to it." The Doctor explained as they ran towards the other side of the gardens, towards Marie-Antoinette's Hamlet.

"I want all of you to stay in. I don't want anyone to get hurt" Mary said

"You too" the Doctor said "Stay in"

"They've got guns, you've got a sonic, I've got a wand. Of course we'll survive" she said sarcastically. The rest of them turned back, Mary and the Doctor continued, but they found their destination.

"Doctor. Nice to see you again" the holding cells were in place. Mary was unable to break them as the chip was damaged from last time. Mary tried legilimency, but it was no good, she was horrible at it.

"There's no use girl. You can't escape" the Master said "Now, let's try some torture" Mary remembered how to deflect an imperius curse, your own will, if her will of not being tortured worked, she may be able to withstand the pain. As the electric signals were sent up her spine, she tried hard on her will to live, ignoring the pain.

"You can't fight it" Rani said, but she kept fighting, the pain subsided and the sound of light being turned on caught her attention

"Doctor, I want you to bear witness to my _improved_ age ray. This not only de-ages you, it slowly de-ages your mentality, turning you into a 3 year old. If I can't kill you, I'll settle for making you live your life over again." Rani said menacingly

"Not if the thermo-couplings break" the Doctor said

"What" Rani said, her attention taken

"You see Rani, even with these holding cells, I can still reach into my pockets" he took out the sonic, "hello. Now, these holding cells aren't really invisible, they only attack the brain cells that keep you from escaping within a certain perimeter. Now, that still lets me pull out my sonic and" he hit the button, causing an explosion or two."

"No, DOCTOR!" the Master said, as he tried fixing the broken thermo-couplings. The holding cells were broken and Mary's wand was pulled out.

"Petrificus Totalus" Mary said, pointing at the Master, he fell.

"Not quite so fast" Rani said "It's going to activate" she said evilly. The machine began to glow. But it stopped

"NO!" Rani said, manically controlling the machine

"When I said I eliminated the thermo-coupling, I lied" the Doctor said

"Rule number one, The Doctor Lies" Mary said. Rani took the Master, running to her invisible TARDIS, they left. The Doctor suddenly ran to the controls, re-wiring

"I'm going to trap her TARDIS, that way she and the Master can't get out" the Doctor said

"Okay, basically, that button there" Mary said

"Yes, now, we need to turn that machine off" he said, then he turned grim "But, someone needs to take the discharge"

"No questions asked, I will. I'll use a shield charm to deflect as much as I can. You removed stuff right?"

"Yes, I know how to make it less permanent" the Doctor said "I just don't know when it starts to take effect." He said grimly.

"Go" Mary stood in front of the machine, where the Doctor's holding cell was. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Calmed, she felt a writhing pain.

* * *

Doctor's POV

He heard her pain, and he wondered how he got her to do this. He shouldn't have, but she would've anyway. He kept his grip on the lever as it stopped. The light was probably penetrating her closed eyes. He ran to her as soon as she was done, his face still in horror.

* * *

"That FUCKING hurt" she said

"It's re-writing your biology, like a chameleon circuit" the Doctor said "It's what it is, but it just de-ages you, with the thermo couplings, you would lose your maturity too. That's what she was testing on you, the de-ageing. Given the chance, she would've made you lose the maturity too" the Doctor explained

"So, for how long will I be three?" Mary asked

"A fortnight" he said grimly

"Right, I think we should leave here" Mary said, as they walked back to the TARDIS

* * *

"What happened?" Sarah-Jane asked as they both entered the door

"We're completely fine, believe me" Mary said, the Doctor nodded, she knew as well as he did, it was best to lie.

* * *

A week or so later

"I think it's time we went home" Rose explained to the Doctor

"We've had enough time here, and we've got some more news" Jonathan explained

"We're expecting again" Rose said happily. Mary's mind clicked, that's why Rose was all glowing lately. They couldn't give anything away, though the Doctor was horrible at keeping his companions from major events in their future

"Well, I think we can arrange that." The Doctor said, as he pulled more levers. It was brilliantly timed, 4:00pm relative time, a Friday. They appeared outside Tyler Mansion, just after everyone was restored to themselves.

"There you were!" Jackie said, as she ran to the two "What are you dressed like that for?" they were all in casual clothes. Jackie glimpsed the TARDIS

"Who the hell is he?" she asked

"The Doctor" Rose said simply before hugging Jackie. Mary and the Doctor waved, before they left the alternate universe.

"That was. Heartbreaking" Mary said admittedly

"I still feel it too" the Doctor said sadly. Amy and Rory came down with Lucinda.

"Doctor, I want it exact, I don't want to end up 5 years later or something" Amy said, as they arrived in Leadworth. Donna came down to, as this was where she was.

"Hello Mia" Amy said as she stepped out of the TARDIS, into her house.

"Amy, hello. I was wondering if you had that copy of Miss Marple I could borrow, a friend of mine said I should really read it" Mary froze suddenly

"That's Scorpius' Grandmother" Mary said

"Small world" the Doctor mused as their next stop was Bannerman Road.

"Mum!" Sky ran up to Sarah-Jane, as she sat reading a calculus novel

"Sky" Sarah-Jane hugged her, then Luke, she started talking about her latest adventures and asking whether Rani and Clyde were feeling any better.

"Martha and Mickey" the Doctor set their coordinates and appearing inside their house

"It appears the dishwasher's finished" the Doctor said to the pair, before bidding a final farewell.

"Bye Doctor" Martha hugged him, Mickey grasping his hand and clapping each other on the shoulder, before Martha picked up a call from Leticia

"Tish, Jason's alright? Okay, we'll pick him up later" Martha said, as she spoke, they left.

* * *

"You think the Doctor's killed him?" Ianto asked Gwen

"It's possible, though, he doesn't know about the pizza bill right now" Tosh took a bite of her pizza

"50 quid. He's gonna fucking kill us" Owen said

"Just smile and ignore it" Ianto said, as he heard the vwooshing all over again.

* * *

"Guys" Jack walked out

"Hi" Jenny said, as bubbly as ever

"Hello Doctor" most of Torchwood said as he and Mary stepped out. Mary noted the box of pizza on the table

"Have fun?" Gwen asked, cradling her daughter

"This, that and that awful lot of running to do" Jenny explained, hugging Ianto, then Gwen

"Well, we think we'll leave to all this pizza" Mary said, but not before taking a slice herself.

* * *

"That's one hell of a pizza" Mary said, as she gave the Doctor a slice of pizza, that they bought.

"It is too. We should go to the Cardiff pizzeria more often "Now, I need to scan you and see approximately how long it is until you turn into your 3 year-old self. Hold Still" Mary had barely enough time to blink, as she felt her lower body and torso freeze, all she could move was her arms and the parts required to digest her pizza.

"Well?" she asked anxiously

"Good news is, it's not permanent. Bad news is. It's expected to happen within 24 hours" the Doctor said "Sorry"

"It's fine, I have to go incognito and call you my 'uncle Matt', that should be interesting." Mary said, as she found herself able to move again.

* * *

Now, i've got a new story to fill in the blanks for this story. Called Contradictory Meanwhile. It starts from after the Sherlock Holems thing :) I'm writing the second chapter, keep posted on that story, as i've just finished the reunion fic component of this


	16. Promise Me One Thing

A/N: Hello, we meet again old friend. I deleted a few of the chapters, It's not that i hate this fic, but i think i've lost all motivation, and it's not like this was the most popular story. Anyway, thanks, i appreciate every single fucking one of you. Thanks.

* * *

Contradictory-Final Chapter

Promise me One thing

Mary and the Doctor ran around the console, pulling levers here and there, pressing buttons and rolling things. Slipping on the glass floors were always fun, as she grabbed on the railings holding herself up.

"Mary, where to?" the Doctor asked "Hogwarts? 221B? New York? Sydney?"

"Anywhere?"

"Anywhere" He laughed reassuredly.

"Well then. To 221B." Mary laughed, flicking a lever back, then she realised something. "Doctor."

"Yeah?" he asked

"Promise me one thing." Mary looked him seriously in the eye "Everything has it's end and when I leave, however I leave. Please, it's guilt free." Mary smiled "You've been through enough, mate. Just please, let it be guilt-free."

"Mary Lozada. If you want it to be a guilt-free exit, then it will be." He smiled, as he pulled a switch, taking her hand as they pulled on the lever together, as the whirled through the entirety of space, together.

* * *

Thanks, and lots of love. BTW, feel free to follow me on tumblr.

Hermione-amelia-rose1479


End file.
